Mayans Predict Doomsday


Out of all the days we lived on this planet, December 21st, 2012 HAS to be the end. We have survived earthquake, tsunamis, alien abductions, and two world wars. At the end of the day, all 7 to 8 billion of us will die due to a force we have yet to predict. In order to understand our doomsday, we have to go back in time to the era of the ancient Mayan civilization.
"Alright, let's get started on this calendar," said the Chief.
"I got an idea chief" said Pocohunto, the teenage indian who was always hungover. “How about we grab a piece of rock, paint on it, make it all colorful and put dates on it”.

“Hmm...that’s actually not a bad idea,” said the Chief. Pocohunto and the Chief went off to create the Mayan calendar, adding all types of triangles and circles. However, later on that month the two Mayans faced a great threat. “We forgot it’s almost April 1st,” screamed the Chief. "We been working on this calendar so much that we almost forgot about our annual prank. Oh my Sun God. We need to think about a prank fast!"
"Chill out old man and have a beer. Let me think of something" said Pocohunto. Pocohunto started pacing around the longhouse and after half an hour a lightbulb went off.
"I got it! Old man wake up!" shrieked Pocohunto.
"Huh?" mumbled the drunk Chief.
"We take the calendar, and add stupid dates to seem like the world is ending!" said Pocohunto.
The Chief stares off into space and starts bobbing his head, finally getting the idea through his drunk mind.
"That could work...and I know exactly how to do it. We add the “apocalyptic” date, then we go undercover as casino workers and spread the word of the world ending. We’ll have the whole tribe in on the prank,” said the Chief. Then, the two Mayans spread the word to the whole Mayan civilization, where the natives gotten excited at the fact that they could finally get back at the Europeans.

Flash Forward to the year 2012, where the prank has been kept in secret throughout generations. The young Native Americans have contributed to their ancestors’ prank by making a movie of the so-called “Doomsday” and they added ridiculous scenes. The whole world believed that when the world ends, Africa will be the only continent left untouched. This made sense because when the other parts of the world is drowned in a huge tsunami, the tsunami would magically stop when approaching Africa. Also, a huge arc will be created in a few days during the end of the world and the arc would have alien-like technology with nobody asking how. At this point, the prank has become hysterical, and the Mayans were known around the world for being able to “predict” the Earth’s fate.

December 21st was the finally punchline. The news was filled with media about the apocalypse. Natives of Mayan-descent came on tv, put on fake serious faces, and started explaining their ancestors way of figuring out that this was the day. Even the History Channel was having a marathon on Mayan culture. This was the greatest accomplishment that the Mayans have ever done. For one day, the whole world appreciated the kind of people the Mayans were and how Europeans destroyed a beautiful thing in order to replace it with their own culture.