Dethroned MAG

By Shining L., Mason, OH

     It is lonely. Ironic, however, they wouldn’t notice. They, with their complaints of starvation, devastation; they, mired in the fear of imminent extinction, shouldering the burden of sin; they, looking skyward for His guidance and shuddering at the merest thought of His presence.

But they seek comfort in each other’s gaze, catching joy (however fleeting it may be) on the waves of their speech, fulfillment etched in company.

Below, the day has been long, made longer with the reluctant dimming of the afternoon, fading into evening. And as the night glimmers, He settles back, wearily, to rest.

The air chokes, humid - heavy with expectations. It’s the end of another disappointment.

And He watches.

None of it’s turned out, really, as He had planned.

He sees them now as they hurry, tracing paths that swirl and loop, twirling until their frantic activity blurs. Their orb glows, and He is mesmerized for the brevity of a butterfly’s flutter. Enamored with their own glassy evanescence, they build towering monuments of metal, sculpting the majestic peaks and valleys of bridges, moving earth. Rivers flow under their direction, cutting and sharp; they design pictures to represent landscapes, images to replace strokes of art.

They won’t remember Him for another few hours, He knows, and He wonders momentarily if they ever really remember Him at all.

They clutch trinkets, bejeweled and sparkling. Lovely. But trinkets do not build castles, cannot imitate fate.

It’s not enough, now, to hope.

He sees the reflection from a woman’s mirror, her vacant expression flickering, then vanishing. Vaguely, He hears the shrill shriek of a siren, desperate.

It wasn’t always like this, He thinks. Before, back when He longed to coexist with His created universe, meshing mortal and eternal, when He wished to be the light of harmony - He foolishly imagined they would listen.

It hardly matters now, though, that He set out to do good, that He envisioned companions to brighten His empty existence. These companions clung to each other instead, and isolation found Him again, gaping and harsh. Nor is there any significance in the sapphire sphere He sees before him, pulsating with the life He birthed - it is no more His than it is its own, no more rare or beautiful than just another tainted perfection, torn carelessly, then haphazardly stitched back into existence.

He is all too familiar with sacrifice, knows far too well the taste of loss. And He laughs bitterly, for even He can no longer recognize the warped illusion that was once His passion, for even He has lost sight of its once-brilliant splendor.

He dares not admit they frighten him.

But they have their civilizations, complexities woven and tangled, mistakes. They have each other, but their brothers are enemies and they construct walls of mistrust, only to tear them down in fits of rage that He cannot comprehend. Justice, potent when laced with the shadows of greed, is far too powerful a temptation, and they cannot defy it - they do not try to resist.

They slaughter for pride, savoring a short-lived vengeance.

He doesn’t understand.

He sees hunger written in their strained interactions, pleas for compassion. Empathy.

A girl lies under her covers, strands of hair visible around a pillow, breathing unevenly. He watches, and He knows she is broken.

In the darkness, they’re weak.

They look up to Him, now, eyes gleaming, whispering a prayer before retiring - hope resting on an unshakable faith. He watches, and He sees their blindness. In the clarity, they are no more than children - bereft, searching. And just as He did, they ask for answers.

They, who can now control survival, treating life as a craft to bend to their every whim; they, who overlooked caution to pursue glory; they, who saw the end of His hopes - they are lonely.

But He can no longer call them His, and - no - He doesn’t know how to help. He is lost as well, grasping, confused and despairing.

He watches the trembling of a little boy’s eyelids in slumber, and He knows nothing.

In the stillness, He watches them.

Their flaws are His flaws, their errors traceable back to His hands. They are neither perfection nor harmony, but neither is He.

And there is hope etched in company.



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This article has 9 comments.


i love this !

why is the ending sad? we all have hope of being redeemed. no one has to be alone.

on Jan. 15 2017 at 8:41 pm
Sparaxis SILVER, Saint Marys, Georgia
8 articles 10 photos 275 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you keep on picking on me, I'll mess up again. This time, on PURPOSE."

I mean to stop messing with people's heads.

on Jan. 3 2017 at 5:36 pm
Sparaxis SILVER, Saint Marys, Georgia
8 articles 10 photos 275 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you keep on picking on me, I'll mess up again. This time, on PURPOSE."

People sometimes say that God knew everything that was going to happen (like His distant relationship with the obnoxious human race and the Devil) and chose not to prevent it. Stuff like that made it sound like "God didn't really want companions, he just wanted a TV show." If people want more people becoming Christians, the least they could do is not confuse people.

on Dec. 14 2014 at 8:12 pm
Alessandro.V BRONZE, Newport Beach, California
4 articles 0 photos 3 comments
You are a very strong writer, and your diction is strong, but brevity is a virtue, and your writing grew slowly prolix. Your interpretation of an impotent deity/god was interesting to say the least, but while your ending was strong, the exposition and development was lacking. If you focus on such an introspective, contemplative moment, do not stretch it out to a painful extent; keep it terse but powerful. You are on the right track, and I enjoyed your writing. Kudos!

on Aug. 8 2013 at 2:17 pm
WarriorPuella, Denver, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
“The difference between reality and fiction? Fiction has to make sense.” -Tom Clancy

Your writing is...Magnificent.  I'm not entirely sure how I feel about your thoughts on God, but it does, at the same time, make Him somehow more approachable to think of Him as imperfect.  If that makes sense.  But your writing is masterful.  It's very poetic, and the way the words flow together... That sort of unity, the sense that every word has been placed perfectly, effortlessly (though I'm sure it wasn't effortless...?), is exactly what I strive for in my own writing.  It lends a sense of eternity to the words, an immortality, if you will.  Wonderfully done!

on Jul. 6 2013 at 11:10 am
ramfthomas4 PLATINUM, South Bend, Indiana
26 articles 1 photo 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If the present world go astray, the cause is in you, in you it is to be sought.”
― Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy

why is the ending sad? we all have hope of being redeemed. no one has to be alone. 

on Jan. 8 2013 at 5:37 pm
In_Love_with_Writing GOLD, Easton, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 389 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Very cool. Nice story! Can you comment and rate some of my work?

korhel said...
on Jun. 23 2010 at 1:00 am
korhel, Rockhampton, Other
0 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about you... But I can't because I know you won't come after me... And that's what hurts the most."

Interesting, I liked your choice of words:) Keep writing


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