Once Upon a Supernatural - Part 2 | Teen Ink

Once Upon a Supernatural - Part 2

February 19, 2015
By Rae_Cobra GOLD, Altamonte Springs, Florida
Rae_Cobra GOLD, Altamonte Springs, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We are destroying the world. We should fix it. We are killing our planet. We should revive it. We are not doing much to help the people. We should do more for the people. We are always fighting. We should try loving." -Rae Cobra


Saige
“I’m so sorry Jacob.” I hoarsely whisper. “If the outcome is the one I know of, then we’re both doomed along with–“ I continue staring into his blue eyes that were filled with torment, fear, pain. Forcing myself to look away, I start to run, run, and run. Away from reality. Away from Him. Away from the pain, fear, suffering that would come soon. Too soon. I turned a corner into an ally, and pressed my back against the cold, rough brick wall and closed my eyes.

 

Vision
“Hello?” I called out into the darkness. “What’s going on? Where am I?” I shouted into the nothingness. I walk around blindly, trying to feel my way around. Gradually, light began to appear, a soft red light. I stare at it, then boom. Darkness disappeared; replaced by a ashy black landscape. I stared, trying to comprehend what I was seeing. Everything was on fire. Trees, bushes, cars, buildings. I looked up and saw the clouds were smokey grey, with fiery falling planes falling to the ground. I heard the screams of fear, pain. I saw burning corpses on the burned ground. This can’t be real. Sweat plated my skin. A burning sensation erupted somewhere in my body. Glancing down, I saw that the flames were leaping at my feet, wrapping me in their warmth. Petrified, I stood frozen and watched as my skin blackened and melted.

 

Jacob
“Saige! Saige wake up! Come on!” I sat up her limp body so that she was upright. Her body was coated in sweat, her body seemed to be generating her own heat waves. Her windbreaker was soaked, dripping with moisture. I gently unzip it, and take it off, hoping that would help her cool down. The harsh cold air swirled around us as the wind swept through the alley. I sit next to Saige, silently hoping she would wake soon.

 

Saige
“Ugghh…” I moan, opening my eyes and found myself staring into the same terrifying blue gaze that I had run away from. With my energy coming back, I forced my hand and slapped Jacob’s face with a  good hard whack. He cursed.

“What the h*** was that for?”

“That was for following me.” I glance down and noticed my windbreaker was gone. “Um?”

“Oh yeah.” Jake handed me my jacket, that was all wet. “I found you in a heated ball on the ground, so I figured maybe without your jacket you could cool down a bit . . .” He trailed off and continued to stare at me, asking me a silent question with his eyes.


The author's comments:

If you have any ideas for how the story should go, please comment and let me know! If you like, please rate! Thanks so much for your time reading this. 

 

Love ya!


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This article has 4 comments.


Rae_Cobra GOLD said...
on Mar. 5 2015 at 1:16 pm
Rae_Cobra GOLD, Altamonte Springs, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We are destroying the world. We should fix it. We are killing our planet. We should revive it. We are not doing much to help the people. We should do more for the people. We are always fighting. We should try loving." -Rae Cobra

Thanks for the feed Hanban12 :) That's why I have it labeled "Vision", because she's visioning something. However, I can understand how people have to jump back and forth between the tenses. Lol, I my self have to do it. It can get confusing to write in present tense, then go to future tenses. Thankfully I won't have to do past tense until later on in the story.

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Mar. 4 2015 at 9:12 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 631 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

Be sure to be consistent when it comes to tenses; it's very jolting for the reader to jump back and forth between past and present tense throughout the story. It's very intriguing though, keep writing!

on Mar. 4 2015 at 9:23 am
LucifersPhoenix, Tea, South Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't successful without friends and family. By: Unknown

That's really nice you're good.

on Mar. 2 2015 at 8:38 pm
IAceEnglish PLATINUM, Altamonte Springs, Florida
26 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
One does not have a claim on one's life, only the right to use it. – Dharma Master Shih Chang Yen

A little graphic with the burning vision.