Separated | Teen Ink

Separated

May 20, 2019
By Anonymous

April 3, 2014. 12:00 pm. Three girls, age 18 Star, age 12 Destiny and age 7 Hope. I had been wondering what was going on, where Star was taking us. We started to walk, it was bright and sunny and the trees were bright green. Hope and I held hands as we walked, Star would not tell us where we were off to. Everything to me and Hope was unclear. It was a secret and lies to be told. And so we reach the destination, trees, slides, monkey bars, basketball court. Benjamin Franklin Elementary School.

12:45pm. “Star why are we here?” asked Hope. “I need to talk to you guys, take your mind off of things, before we go back home.” said Star. Take our mind off of what? Talk about what? What is possibly going on now? Frustration isn’t even the first feeling that I reach. I’m in anger and I don’t want to hear what she is about to say. “Let’s sit under the slide” says Star. Under the slide=place we would always go to talk or play cards. I didn’t want to go, and so those words slipped out of my mouth, “What the f*** is the point of going to the slide, if you’re going to tell us something bad, then tells us now.” Hope starts to cry out of the frustration of the anger between the both of Star and I. “We’re going to have a family meeting!” says Star. Hope looks at me and for a good 30 seconds me and Hope having nothing to say and are just looking at each other. I knew it was bad and I knew after today, after this family meeting nothing would be the same. “I want to go home!” I said. And so we began to walk, no words said, nothing.

2:00 pm. We got home, and I wanted to go inside so badly, but my stomach had butterflies. I took steps slowly one by one-the dark brown stairs-creaking each time I make a step-it cracks just like my heart. Star opens the door and all I see is my dad and mom sitting at the kitchen room table. The lights are on but they are dimmed to set the tone. It was dark and the room felt as if it was empty. “Sit down, it’s time for our family meeting” says my mom. A round circular table. 5 chairs for 5 people. My mom to the left my dad to the right and my sister Star next to me and Hope on the other side. Hope, couldn’t wait. She didn’t want to. Hope being 7 years old, she isn’t patient at all. So she starts and says “Ok, so what is this about.” No one answers. My mom is with her head down, Star with her head down, and me and my dad looking up straight into eachothers eyes, he shakes his head side to side looking at me, in a way of him saying he's sorry and that i will be okay, but it isn’t. Seperation: an act or instance of separating or the state of being separated. “Your father and I are separating” says my mom. And i stare into a distance. No tears. No words. A blank stare. After 5 minutes of sitting at that table I look at my dad, and he looks back at me, and he starts to tear up, my dad doesn’t cry, at least I have never seen him until today. “This isn’t real, this is a joke, why are you doing this? What is so wrong that you are doing this to me? Doing this to us? What about us? Hope is 7 years old, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO HER?” Star looks at me and tells me to stop yelling, but I can’t. I feel numb. Star knew and didn’t tell me. I felt alone and separated from everyone. The one person who understands me is my dad. He won’t be here anymore so who is supposed to be my best friend? I ran to my room, hope laying down with her head on my lap, and I sitting up balling my eyes out. It’s dark, with the audio of Lilo and Stitch playing in the back of my head. The only thing that keeps playing in my head is your father and I are separating, your father and I are separating, your father and I are separating. My door creaks, sliding open very slowly and my dad walks in. He sits on the corner of my bed. Hope asleep in my lap. He asks, “Are you okay Destiny?” In my head I say no, nothing's okay. But I respond “Yeah, it’s life. I had a feeling something like this was going to happen.” He looks at me and says “I know it's going to be different, I know it’s going to be hard not to see eachother everyday. I’m sorry this had to happen to you guys. I never wanted it to. I want you to know, that no matter what everyday I am going to be here for you guys.”

April 28, 2014. 3:00 pm. My dad moved out. He was gone. I didn’t see him every day. I wasn’t able to. We were separated. 40 miles away. Why? Because my mom took him away from me, because she put herself before any of us, he was gone. We didn’t have a say in it. I was scared, scared to be without my dad. Scared to be far from him. It was scary. May 25 2014. Separation anxiety. Separation anxiety disorder (SAD) is defined as excessive worry and fear about being apart from family members or individuals to whom a child is most attached. Children with separation anxiety disorder fear being lost from their family or fear something bad happening to a family member if they are separated from them.



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