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The Sonnet of Honest Tragedy

Flower petals are falling onto the grass
The dirt turns to mud on this Valentine’s Day.
The pink and red roses turn grey and black
as the cute teenage couple are on a date.
The boy gives the girl a box of crayons,
Reminding her of childhood when everything was fun
But playing with crayons is now frowned upon.
Kindergarteners are now forced to play with guns.
Soon, they’ll get these colors from magic pills.
Or maybe needles when they become too pimply.
This classroom is now a hospital,
for the souls who are becoming old and wrinkly.
They’re like the wrinkles on your tissue as you wipe your eyes.
Flowers cover their graves while the dirt covers mine.




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This article has 12 comments. Post your own!

7_Ambitions said...
Jan. 23 at 9:43 pm:
I Love This Poem , It flows perfectly and I love the topic , your a great writer. May you please help me to be as good as yo , maybe comment on my poem "Stupid Navie Love" 
 
kaitlynisweirdThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 24 at 4:10 pm :
Thanks! I will do that.
 
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Geek_Chic124 said...
Jan. 23 at 5:24 pm:
I really liked it, especially the first four or five lines! I do think the rhyme and rhythm get off a little in a few places, but that can be easily fixed with the addition of a few syllables here and there. Good job! 
 
HeatherSembThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 23 at 10:37 pm :
I like the use of todays society in your poem. It was very down to the point, maybe use lighter adjectives but still get the point across. Please read and comment on my porm Orange Grove. Thanks! (:
 
kaitlynisweirdThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 24 at 4:19 pm :
Thanks and I will do that :) But wait, what do you mean by "lighter adjectives?"
 
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spirit_eyesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 23 at 5:19 pm:
I really like the topic of the poem but you should work on the way it flows. ^-^
 
kaitlynisweirdThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 23 at 8:25 pm :
Thanks, and yeah...that seems to be the general consensus of the comments on here. 
 
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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 23 at 4:17 pm:
The point of your sonnet is brilliant, but I was expecting some more flow and....musicalness (I know that's not a real word) to it.  But I did like it :)
 
kaitlynisweirdThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 23 at 8:15 pm :
Thanks. I should probably retitle it, and make it a free verse instead of a 'sonnet'.  It was actually originally a freeverse, but I re-did the rhyme scheme and made it into a more sonnet-like form for a school project. Um..
 
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RolledthestoneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 23 at 11:37 am:
It was a good topic/plot thing but I can't find the rhyme. Arent't there supposed to be rhymes in sonnets? Needs a bit more flows, the ideas come in a bit chopily.
 
Goku-Is-NessThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 23 at 4:40 pm :
That was amazing.. I couldn't have put that poem better myself.
 
kaitlynisweirdThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 23 at 8:03 pm :
Thanks!!! And @Rolledthestone...Yeah, I used near-rhyming, which I thought was good enough. But you're right. I could work on the flow of it. Thanks for the feedback.
 
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