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Time will reveal everything I want to know now.
I wish time was just the name of a street.
I’d drive a black car up and down time.
I’d be happy.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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TotheSea said...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 7:44 am:
The simplicity makes it great!
 
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JerseyGirl716 said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 1:39 pm:

Love it! You captured so much meaning in FOUR lines; that's talent! Keep doing what you're doing, because it's perfect!

If anyone is bored and feels like giving feedback on a poem, can you check out mine? It's called "Rock Bottom" and is in the writing forum under poetry. Thanks!

 
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Laura_Oliver said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 11:08 am:

You could have rambled on forever about sentimentality and everything else for endless verses. Instead you only asked for a few seconds of our time, and it is still as good.

Plus, please check out my poems "True Colors" and "Shoveled" if you get a chance and leave some feedback!

 
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purplequeen said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 8:51 am:
Guys check out my poems majestic emperor and all I need is you and others. Comment on it and I will comment on yours.
 
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purplequeen said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 8:50 am:
Great Job!!
 
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FreedomIsMyVirtue said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 6:29 am:
Same here!!! :)))
 
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ElleNicole said...
Jul. 11, 2011 at 10:49 am:

Short and sweet. I enjoyed this. =)

Would anyone be willing to check out my poem? Please give me some comments/rates, I need more feedback! Thanks!

 
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raidersrock08 said...
Jun. 19, 2011 at 8:05 pm:
that was! great
 
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Aderes18 said...
May 26, 2011 at 12:11 pm:
So true! :)
 
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Cubster said...
May 6, 2011 at 9:35 pm:
Yeah, you had a really good choice of words.
 
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M.A.M. said...
May 6, 2011 at 9:49 am:
You got your meaning stated in just one verse!  I wish I could do that.
 
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alwaysadreamer said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 9:46 pm:
that was brilliant in so few words! really talented!
 
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ilyjb said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 7:44 pm:
i love this it bright tears to my eyes and my brothers
 
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TwinnBears27 said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 6:18 pm:
Love the poem! but maybe if you talked about why it would make you happy in the last line it would flow better.
 
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ShirleyB said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 11:04 am:
very pretty :) you'v a clever mind :)
 
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paperandpen said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 9:49 am:

wow, what a great picture of your imagination!

 

 
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birdcage2 said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 9:49 am:
this is really good i love it it makes you tghink. dont listont o people who dnt like it. i love it
 
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sedentarysteve said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm:
i feel like it's a bit redundant.  simple poems seem to sit with me much more smoothly than a longer one but i feel like this poem is lacking feeling.  the first two lines i felt were setting me up for a beautiful metaphor or introducing me to your message.  the third line kind of threw me off a bit.  i think it would have been more interesting for me to see as a reader, something more along the lines of what names you would've picked or metaphorically traveling down the road... (more »)
 
Heiwa replied...
Oct. 29, 2011 at 10:15 am :
I feel the same... it's a good poem but needs a little more work.
 
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Hotaru said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 3:27 pm:
I think the ending of your poem needs more work. It seems a little weak. But other than that your poem seems to carry a lot of meaning in it.
 
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