Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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Breezy981 said...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Wow this was very are a great writer..keep it up! if you have time could you read my poem "Guess i had it coming" please
ariwrites94 said...
Nov. 8, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Wonderful job!!!! you are a talented writer and keep up the good work! if u have time please check out my poem called "Sensitive Am I" and rate and leave a comment. Thanks and keep writing!
Castrol said...
Nov. 6, 2009 at 10:59 am
This is a really good poem. It seems you are reflecting one one's self. I like it. =]
LeilaniLives said...
Nov. 5, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I'm making a wild throw out- maybe this piece is religious? And his Father is God himself ? Seems to me. Beatiful.
corruptedlullaby said...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Wow. That was purely touching!
Dat Chocoholic Girl said...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 11:14 am
wow nice poem that was super cute i liked so much
BellaEzrebetFang This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 2, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Love this. This poem makes me wince's sad and ambitious and determined and hopeful and uplifting until the end when you're brought down and held back with the 'chain' in the poem....
chetahgirl20 said...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 6:08 pm
I would try to have realistic words, and capitalize "I". Nice poem.
DEARtiffanyy replied...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 10:52 pm
I think that the "i" isn't capitalized on purpose. The writer puts himself on a lower rank than the Sea or Father, hence, they are capitalized.
mutekid016 replied...
Nov. 20, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I agree with DEARtiffanyy. She brings up a good point.
Douglas C. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Really cewl poem but...i dont really get it. Maybe i'm just stupid. but anyway, beautiful choice of words!!! :)
s.nichole said...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 2:37 pm
touched my soul; you're amazing. :)
savina said...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I love this poem, I just wanted to keep reading. Great work!
Shailja said...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 4:34 am
a touchin piece of work....
DelkS said...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 3:31 am
So real, its deep. I love it.
PurpleMidnight said...
Oct. 21, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Wow! This is amazing! The last stanza is my favorite! Keep on writing. =P
monalisa011 said...
Oct. 8, 2009 at 7:25 pm
This is really good... but the end is kind of depressing
Sammi L. said...
Sept. 18, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Beautiful. I thought it was very expressive and good.
Minita said...
Jul. 22, 2009 at 1:40 pm
I love how the poem flows into one piece.
that father sounds mean!
wordluver said...
Jul. 16, 2009 at 6:19 pm
WHOAH Carl! this poem is so amaizing i really love the end it's so perfect although i just wanted the poem to keep going! haha well keep up the good work and keep writing you have an amaizing talent!
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