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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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Lola_Black said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Wow. This is deep. If only I could put it better than apoetssoul... : )
apoetssoul said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Amazing how you used words in such a way as to convey a message that robs me of them :) Truly speechless, this is beautiful and I am personally touched by it. Please continue to write, you are gifted, and you'd better believe it :D God bless!
hunnybuntwix said...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm
inkblot13 said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 8:50 pm
I can't tell you how many times I've read this poem and how many times I've fallen in love with it! Great job, keep up the excellent and truly superb work! :D (PS- check out some of my work? I'm dying for feedback!!)
praveenbryonadamrocks replied...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 2:50 pm
hey ur poem only i remember was amazing one.........i like it(:good job
lilfoxey said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 6:43 pm
that is a good poem
Sherlock said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 4:29 pm
This was a really good poem! It was very good, and enjoyable to read.
PassionFruit said...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Wow, good job. I really like it. I like the message you're getting across. As far as critique goes the only line that confused me was "the sky was at my level as i/ gazed at the birdie" Im confused as to where "the birdie" came from. I would understand if you had said A birdie, but THE birdie gives it more significance that the reader can't understand. Sorry, I don't mean to sound like a critic here or be harsh, I actually really love this poem. Keep writing!! And check out some of my work, once... (more »)
BSANCHEZ said...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 12:49 pm
I can kind of understand what your saying. But I can't fully.
ExpRESsY0uRselF said...
Jun. 12, 2011 at 12:18 pm
This was a really nice poem, but maybe you could make your message a little bit clearer. Also, if you have time, please check out my poem, The Girl Inside, and others. Thanksssss! :)
Valerie replied...
Jun. 30, 2011 at 11:26 am

Great poem!!!

BTW, ExpRESs YOuRselF, I love your screen name. Have you read a book called Paper Towns? There's a character who does that same thing...

ExpRESsY0uRse1F replied...
Jul. 3, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Really? i totally have to read that! Thanks!
inkflowerKNC said...
Jun. 10, 2011 at 2:44 pm
it's pretty good, i like it.
Ang1996 said...
Jun. 9, 2011 at 11:27 am
I don't get it what dose this mean. other than that it sounds like its a good poem
Br11anna said...
Jun. 8, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Really nice poem!
Andrea L. said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 9:22 pm
love it!! filled w/ lotsa emotion
RanaHewezi1998 said...
Jun. 4, 2011 at 11:23 am
it has good rythmes!
Highbarfreak87 said...
Jun. 3, 2011 at 11:00 am
Its such an odd poem to follow but its good!'
thedreamer said...
Jun. 2, 2011 at 3:00 pm
this is truely a beautiful poem seriously it is
torivix said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 6:59 pm
I love this! it's so... mysterious, yet so down to Earth. keep writing, please!!!
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