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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2181 comments.
necrophilikat PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 12 2012 at 9:22 am
I loved it.
Whether you are a "published" poet or not, it is irrelevant. Poetry is a matter of raw emotion coming from the soul. It doesn't matter if one thousand of your poems have been published in magazines before, who are you to state if his poem is good or not. Poetry comes in every shape and form, just because it happens to not be in your favor does not mean it is bad. (Your opinion is taken in to account but it is your opinion of, "This is not good poetry" that isn't.)
Snow Blossom said...
on Jan. 8 2012 at 9:43 pm
This poem is awful. It is not creative at all. Lots of kids write about their parents stifling them. "People who say its not good and don't know the meaning of poetry" is a matter of opinion. My opinion:I don't like this poem. And for the record, I am a published poet in this magazine as well as other magazines and in a book. This is not good poetry.
Zoe-22-Turner DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 7 2012 at 10:25 pm
hey anyone know how to find more works by this person if he has a poem like this im sure if he has others they must be pretty awsome too
expressionconfession GOLD said...
on Jan. 6 2012 at 11:45 pm
lol. seriously? if you want to criticize someone on their writing craft, try mastering subject-verb agreement first. obviously men don't have wombs, the title was deliberate and made the poem a thousand times better. it's called symbolism brosky. check it out on sparknotes ;)
expressionconfession GOLD said...
on Jan. 6 2012 at 11:42 pm
like the title, love the construction of the metaphor. all awesome! however i'd caution you to watch your rhyme scheme... if you read this out loud to yourself you will feel that some lines seem to short/long and a few easy word changes would smooth the flow
scribbles2000 said...
on Jan. 3 2012 at 7:20 pm
this is incredible! well done
HaagenDazzle BRONZE said...
on Jan. 2 2012 at 11:15 pm
Lovely poem! I agree with the meaning of the title and how it ties into the essence of a father's love (that's what I view from your piece) Keep up the great work!
Elismylove BRONZE said...
on Jan. 2 2012 at 5:05 pm
This is beautiful ! I think this is a well thoughted and was put out very well .. Im very impressed !! :D
Erebus_Wildfire BRONZE said...
on Jan. 2 2012 at 9:05 am
I agree and what explain the meaning of the title
Erebus_Wildfire BRONZE said...
on Jan. 2 2012 at 9:04 am
this piece is good the structure of it is not bad and even when giving a regular post you should always be sure have punctuation
TawnyNerd1995 SILVER said...
on Jan. 1 2012 at 9:13 am
paints a wonderful picture.
vazenitran98 said...
on Dec. 28 2011 at 11:03 am
Amazing. You are very talented.
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
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