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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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endend1210 said...
Jul. 3, 2011 at 2:26 pm:
This sucks.. I mean, grammar usage alone is just an epic fail. Present or past tense; make up your mind!  I don't understand it. "Hollow ground." That's an oxymoron and to be honest, I don't quite know what "hollow ground" is. You repeat words too. Ground, bound, high, sky, all just repeating!
 
brittneymarston replied...
Jul. 6, 2011 at 1:19 pm :
its not your poem, so it doesnt really matter what you think about the grammar and oxymoron usage. its not tailored to make sense to you.
 
BrokenThorn replied...
Jul. 11, 2011 at 3:08 am :
Its just criticisim, they're just voicing they're opinion. Could have done it more polietly however
 
LAngel13 replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 12:57 am :
i absolutely adored it, and can completely relate. check out  some of my work 2 and gimme your feedback.
 
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ahavah858 said...
Jul. 2, 2011 at 9:08 pm:
Okay, so I'm sure that you meant something really deep with this, but quite honestly, I don't understand it....
 
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brazilla_lyn said...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 6:59 am:
very insprirational
 
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nomore37 said...
Jun. 30, 2011 at 6:21 pm:
This poem is  love. A gift to the world. It's beautiful. Such meaning and many ways of interpretaton. One of my favorites
 
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Niagara said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 9:56 pm:
 My interpretation of this was that you are trying to go free and be all on your own, fly, but you cannot because your father still has a hold of you. You see the birdie, something free and want to feel the same, but there is still a chain holding you down. This is how many young people feel about life and the constant struggles they face to feel like they can spread their wings, but I assure you my friend, in time we will see you fly.
 
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shoelessjoe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 4:13 pm:
I've read this a thousand times and it's still fantantastic :) keep in writing Carl
 
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Thoreau420 said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 7:37 pm:
Beautiful expression of transcendental views and the hinderance of true free will.
 
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Shadowstar said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 5:27 pm:
.......nice.
 
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Bgeek24 said...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 11:12 am:
Speechless
 
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NothingButAli This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 10:59 am:
for everyone who doesnt understand the meaning of the poem, A poem is not meant to be read and be understood completely. A poem like this is to be left up to your imagenation. take it as you precive it.
 
Bgeek24 replied...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 11:14 am :
Exactly. When I write a poem and show it to people, they sometimes ask what it means, and I tell them whatever you want it to mean. That's the point of poetry. Imagination..........
 
Tess213 replied...
Jun. 24, 2011 at 10:23 am :
i think thats my favorite thing is that someone can interparat (sorry i stink at spelling) poems to their own experiences and life but someone else might find it totally different. We sort of create meanings with what we have
 
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Lola_Black said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 8:44 pm:
Wow. This is deep. If only I could put it better than apoetssoul... : )
 
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apoetssoul said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 4:07 pm:
Amazing how you used words in such a way as to convey a message that robs me of them :) Truly speechless, this is beautiful and I am personally touched by it. Please continue to write, you are gifted, and you'd better believe it :D God bless!
 
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hunnybuntwixThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm:
AMAZING!!!
 
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inkblot13 said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 8:50 pm:
I can't tell you how many times I've read this poem and how many times I've fallen in love with it! Great job, keep up the excellent and truly superb work! :D (PS- check out some of my work? I'm dying for feedback!!)
 
praveenbryonadamrocks replied...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 2:50 pm :
hey ur poem only i remember was amazing one.........i like it(:good job
 
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