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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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AlyBUdawgs said...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 1:21 pm
I liked it a lot it tells a story in a beautiful inavative way (:
 
swifthearth said...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I loved it! You incoperated so much into one poem making it all the more powerful. Creative title, nice wording and an inspiring meaning. 

I would be honored if you looked at some of my poems.

 
Warriorsfan said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 6:22 pm

I love such poetry!It just reminds me of so many things!Great job!

 

 
artmantist said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 5:31 pm

hello, nice poem. Would u guys wanna check out my work. its called the cottage 

thank u

 
FlashlevitationThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 3:08 pm
creative title!
 
BridgetND said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 9:42 am
this was wonderful!! =] i was wondering if anyone could view my work and tell me what they think? it would mean alot to me
 
Ginger_ninja72521 said...
Nov. 18, 2011 at 9:04 pm
I think this is amazingly deep. I love all of your metaphors! The simplness of your wording brought so much meaning! I can't wait to see more!
 
Cubster said...
Nov. 17, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Have you written poetry pefore? You are my inspiration.
 
cftcft9090 said...
Nov. 16, 2011 at 11:26 am
This was amazing!!!!!!!!! How do you find the inspiration to create such a magnificent piece, or any piece in general?
 
ilovewriting43 said...
Nov. 16, 2011 at 10:51 am
I had to read this like five times before I could comprehend it :) The message is really good, definitely one of those that makes you think!
 
Kim121819 said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 6:12 pm
HAVE YOU GUYS EVER WONDERED HOW THESE POEMS GOT SOOOOOO POPULAR? HOE IS IT SO POPULAR? I WRITE GOOD POEMS TOO!
 
Leyna1997 replied...
Nov. 18, 2011 at 12:01 pm
No disrespect, but maybe if you put a little more effort into writing your poetry and getting noticed instead of putting time into bragging and whinning, we would all be looking and commenting on your poem instead.
 
Ginger_ninja72521 replied...
Nov. 18, 2011 at 9:02 pm
It shouldn't matter if your stuff is discussed most or the most popular, just that it makes you happy to know that it's out there or that you can write at all. :) And we should support such amazing writers such as this one and learn from them to better our own skills!
 
Kim121819 replied...
Nov. 21, 2011 at 8:57 am
First of all, Ginger I really appreciate what you said and how you put your comment in a nice way. Second of all, leyna in my POV i was just wondering how this writer got so popular because i really enjoy writing and i wanted to know how to get my writing knowed. Also, you can't judge my writing if you haven't read it.
 
swifthearth replied...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 12:09 pm

I sometimes ask myself the sameted of like us  question, but the fact is that these people all started off like us-Unnoticed.- They had to work there way to this level.

Ps. I also enjoy your work.

 
Kim121819 replied...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 3:55 pm
swifthearth, I would like to thank you, for your nice comment, and support. :)
 
Adam said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 9:16 am
This was a pretty cool and confusing story. My best friend drowned in a pond so it was a little sad that he say you will drown...
 
SassysGirl said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 8:56 am
 I think this poem is really good as it uses a lot of description and good detail. why didnt the sons father let him him, but he let him fly?
 
PRDGirl said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 8:40 am
I think it was  just great.
 
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