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Make Believe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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We were doomed from the beginning,
Blinded from the start,
But nothing can be done
To fool a happy heart.
With each smile and giggle,
Every embrace and every kiss,
We were shooting toward a happy ending,
And we missed.
Cinderella lost her slipper
And it was never found.
Prince Charming came too late,
Now no one’s sleeping sound.
Pillows are soaking wet,
Hopes are all lost.
No more dancing in the clouds.
Dreams have all been tossed.
The fairy-tale warmth has left us
As winter’s setting in.
The storybook reads the end,
But where should we begin?
Now your heart strives to be broken,
And you long for lonely nights
This time our ship is sinking
We’re going down without a fight.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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This article has 163 comments. Post your own!

bluemagnet22 said...
Nov. 7, 2009 at 11:13 am:
Wow ur vry talented! luv it! you should check out some of mine:)
 
PayPay replied...
Dec. 28, 2009 at 5:20 pm :
WoW!!!! Very nice i could feel the words and understand it....
 
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jordann_lil_guh said...
Jul. 21, 2009 at 3:58 pm:
this is great
please keep writing
:)
 
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SaveThEmpty said...
Mar. 22, 2009 at 1:27 am:
this is amazing!
 
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Jessica B. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 22, 2009 at 4:11 am:
i like how you added the story book part too it.
 
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Emoly.95 said...
Jan. 29, 2009 at 5:25 am:
oh my goodness! that's beautiful!
 
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melecia12 said...
Jan. 8, 2009 at 3:15 pm:
i love this poem who ever yuo r continue to inspire me:)
 
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ashleynicole116 said...
Nov. 14, 2008 at 11:58 pm:
I thing it is wonderful. the truth
 
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sexy123 said...
Nov. 14, 2008 at 12:25 am:
I think that this poem is really good i write poems to. Some how i can relate to this but this poem is AWESOME keep writing.
 
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Erwin said...
Nov. 13, 2008 at 7:01 pm:
I love this, it's very affectionate for a -past- relationship that was probably once an amazing fairy tale, once told. It's great and I hope this writer can write more like it.[:
 
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Nelly56 said...
Nov. 12, 2008 at 5:34 pm:
I really like this poem is very truthful to my everyday life. We cant all have our way but sometimes we have to be grateful on what we have in this world. Everything is never perfect and some things are just fairytales. So let my soulmate make believe and realize is hard to find your one and only.
 
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Josie said...
Nov. 12, 2008 at 5:32 pm:
a comment to shane whatever this poem was so nice your just jealous you can't come up with one better
 
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tweedle dee said...
Nov. 12, 2008 at 1:42 pm:
great poem i loved it and dont listen to anyone the repition was a good idea! there was only one part where the rythm was off but that was it. keep writting!
 
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tragiclovestory07 said...
Oct. 12, 2008 at 11:56 pm:
this is a really great poem.. sadly it reminds me of the person that I happen to be dating and our relationship right now
 
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DorkyGirl1 said...
Oct. 7, 2008 at 1:58 am:
Really great, I loved it!
 
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SJH17 said...
Sept. 4, 2008 at 7:07 pm:
This Poem Is Simply Amazing And Very Truthful..
 
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in_deep_thought said...
Aug. 31, 2008 at 6:08 am:
great poem. i liike how it opens your eyes on how not everything will go ur way and like it or not were all living with it.
 
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elaine901 said...
Aug. 26, 2008 at 2:36 am:
oh my gosh i really like this one! i love the rhythm and the way it flows. it's so good! keep writing :)
 
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Hallieinthewings said...
Aug. 22, 2008 at 5:40 pm:
Sometimes repetition can be a good thing, expressing the same idea in different ways can help others understand the idea better.
I liked it.
 
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Shane_Zeh_Banderbear said...
Aug. 14, 2008 at 11:10 pm:
Ahhh, a sad love poem. =( It was pretty good.

It's a bit repetitive though. You're expressing an idea in one line, then you express the SAME idea in another, but in a different way. I would fix that. If you do that, it might be cut in half, but it'd still give out the point effectively. Also, try focusing the image, or using stanzas for diff. images.

Other then a bit more organization and repititon, the ideas were good, and the writing was nice. Good job
 
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