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Shallow

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GhostBeam
Shallow
Summary: 16 year old, brother and sister; Zayne and Zoe want a better life for themselves. Being in a foster home with adults who don't care, is worst then being on the streets. Zoe and Zayne will have to stick together and make some tough choices.





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This book has 8 comments. Post your own now!

cristelsnowThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 5 at 1:56 pm
THIS LOOKS SO COOL
 
Thalion said...
Apr. 28 at 10:51 am
Not a bad story, but I was throughly confused by the second chapter. The grammer and spelling errors made it really hard to concentrate on the story itself and the way it changed perspectives really threw me a curve. Your thoughts are precise... prehaps too precise in spots.... I'd like to see how you tie the two chapters together, though! 
 
TheUniverse said...
Apr. 14 at 8:06 pm
This is a very good beginning to the book...  Love the way you've started in the formation and it seems as if your thoughts are precise... I like that......  Keep up the great writing!!!!!!
 
TheOceansBlackBirdThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 14 at 8:04 pm
This is really good! I like how the prolouge really sets up the story, and how you can really see how poor the two children are. Yet again, you should reallytry to fix your spelling and grammar mistakes...but otherwise I really liked it!
 
Sandusky replied...
Apr. 20 at 2:23 am
this is really good :) I hope you keep writing :)
 
ben_the_wolfThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 11 at 5:46 pm
Can't wait to see what happens next, although as it has already been said before, those quotation marks though. Otherwise, great story idea.
 
Kestrel135This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 6 at 8:01 am
This was a good beginning to a book. I like how the introduction really sets up everything for the future; you don't entirely understand the relation, but you know that there is one, and can assume what that relation may be - a great tactic for enticing the reader. There were some really great phrases in here, such as the ending to the prologue. The first chapter also was pretty good, but there were a few grammatical errors - but they didn't really take away from the piece that much. The... (more »)
 
GhostBeam replied...
Apr. 6 at 12:53 pm
Thx you so much for the feedback and i'll work on my grammer and these   "      ".
 

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