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Summary: 16 year old, brother and sister; Zayne and Zoe want a better life for themselves. Being in a foster home with adults who don't care, is worst then being on the streets. Zoe and Zayne will have to stick together and make some tough choices.

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This book has 9 comments. Post your own now!

Forever said...
Mar. 2, 2015 at 4:01 pm
I can see the story you are trying to write... really its a good idea. But you are expressing it in the wrong way. The little grammatical errors are driving me crazy and it maked it hard to read at some points. There is also a lot of he said she said stuff. When you read a published book there isn't he said this... then she said this... then he said this. There were no quotes so i couldnt tell when the characters were about to talk so that through me for a loop too. I love the beginning thoug... (more »)
cristelsnowThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 5, 2014 at 1:56 pm
Thalion said...
Apr. 28, 2014 at 10:51 am
Not a bad story, but I was throughly confused by the second chapter. The grammer and spelling errors made it really hard to concentrate on the story itself and the way it changed perspectives really threw me a curve. Your thoughts are precise... prehaps too precise in spots.... I'd like to see how you tie the two chapters together, though! 
TheUniverse said...
Apr. 14, 2014 at 8:06 pm
This is a very good beginning to the book...  Love the way you've started in the formation and it seems as if your thoughts are precise... I like that......  Keep up the great writing!!!!!!
TheOceansBlackBird said...
Apr. 14, 2014 at 8:04 pm
This is really good! I like how the prolouge really sets up the story, and how you can really see how poor the two children are. Yet again, you should reallytry to fix your spelling and grammar mistakes...but otherwise I really liked it!
Sandusky replied...
Apr. 20, 2014 at 2:23 am
this is really good :) I hope you keep writing :)
ben_the_wolf said...
Apr. 11, 2014 at 5:46 pm
Can't wait to see what happens next, although as it has already been said before, those quotation marks though. Otherwise, great story idea.
Kestrel135This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 6, 2014 at 8:01 am
This was a good beginning to a book. I like how the introduction really sets up everything for the future; you don't entirely understand the relation, but you know that there is one, and can assume what that relation may be - a great tactic for enticing the reader. There were some really great phrases in here, such as the ending to the prologue. The first chapter also was pretty good, but there were a few grammatical errors - but they didn't really take away from the piece that much. The... (more »)
GhostBeam replied...
Apr. 6, 2014 at 12:53 pm
Thx you so much for the feedback and i'll work on my grammer and these   "      ".

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