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Mom, I’m Gay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 186 comments. Post your own!

juhneen_6 said...
Nov. 19, 2010 at 8:52 am:
i wish i could tell my mother. im so afriad of being kicked out :)
 
EliBurrows replied...
Nov. 21, 2010 at 11:02 pm :
i think you should tell your mum because if you dont you will wonder why you havent and how it could have turned out =]
 
Sis94 replied...
Dec. 13, 2010 at 4:34 pm :
OK i see it as you mom will love you no matter.Ya it might take some time getting use to  but just let her know who you are  and you willl always  have people to back up 
 
Lacer replied...
Jan. 21, 2011 at 3:55 pm :
Be aware that coming out is not an option. You will have to do it, one way or another. I did it and my consequences weren't so bad because I stook up for myself in my argument. By the way, your parents can't kick you out on the street (unless your 18+), they have to find you a legal guardian to rtake care of you. If they don't love you for who you are, then they don't deserve you.
 
LaurennnnThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 19, 2011 at 1:18 am :
I got kicked out when I came out. But I'm back home now. They'll accept you eventually if they love you. Just be sensitive to their side too.
 
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Nickypoo17 said...
Nov. 11, 2010 at 9:21 am:
I have a couple of homosexual friends and I am surprised at how you came out to your mom. One of the friends still hasn't had the courage to tell his mom about his sexuality. I'm glad that you told her though. It's not good to hold those types of feelings in.
 
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Madi L. said...
Nov. 1, 2010 at 4:45 pm:
this article was really moving, i almost started crying, it was really good
 
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NotYoursFroever said...
Oct. 30, 2010 at 5:44 pm:

this article was great! I read this and thought abut when I told my mom I was Bi, she excepted it, but I know she didn't approve. 

This was also very funny. Great job. I loved it!

 
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sab102 said...
Oct. 26, 2010 at 9:23 am:
I enjoyed how this article was to the point, witty, and extremely thought-provoking. Telling mothers secrets is a difficult feat for teens now-a-days. The fact that we're beginning to discuss such important matters shows that we are growing, and I'm proud of this. Keep growing in whichever sexuality you have. 
 
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Karma_Chameleon This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 16, 2010 at 7:20 pm:
Great piece! Both entertaining and thought provoking, and very well written. Love it!
 
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gay_boy22 said...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 10:16 pm:
ur an insperation!!!!
 
Flightless replied...
Sept. 7, 2010 at 6:18 pm :
I LOVE your last reaction, that was hilarious! And ya, you are an inspiration! :)
 
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GamerGirl75 said...
Jun. 22, 2010 at 2:04 pm:
I'm glad that you were able to just say it so proudly. I have a couple of friends who are either gay, lesbian, or bisexual and there's this thing called day of silence, which to my knowledge is about gay rights and I'd just like to tell everyone to do it. There's no better feeling than to know you're supporting such a good cause
 
NotYoursFroever replied...
Oct. 30, 2010 at 5:40 pm :
Yea, the day of silence is when you are ust quiet all day. It's like "don't talk bad about gays, I wont." Kinda thing. I have done it every year since 6th grade. It's really fun too!
 
LaurennnnThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 19, 2011 at 1:19 am :
Do it every year! So pumped to do it again this year!
 
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madilyne said...
Jun. 20, 2010 at 8:28 am:
good for you, that reminds me of my sister, she told my mom and she freaked out, adn my dad hasn't talked to her since(2 years)
 
BrokenInnocence replied...
Oct. 30, 2010 at 7:51 pm :
That's terrible! But sad thing is, that I think my dad would do the same thing.
 
A. Nonny Mouse replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 9:36 pm :
Hey, you never know how they'll react. I was dead certain I'd be staying in friends' basements, and my parents turned out to be fine with it. 
 
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Allie97 said...
May 29, 2010 at 6:49 pm:
WOW this is GREAT!!!!!
 
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DarkKnight said...
May 13, 2010 at 11:54 pm:
This is an AWESOME article! I'm a dude and i'm bi, but i haven't told anyone yet. my mom has already given her opinions on gay, bi and lesbian people. she doesn't like them. you can only imagine what my dad would say. i haven't come out to them, and i don't think i ever will :( i am thinking about coming out to a couple of my friends, especially a guy i like who i think might be alright with it. :-) there are a few openly gay people that go to my school and i t... (more »)
 
lab96 replied...
Feb. 17, 2011 at 6:37 pm :
I am bi aswell! and I'd just like to say that the last line, is SO TRUE, and like my favorite part! lol
 
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