Mom, I’m Gay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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a.e.always said...
Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Amazing. and i'm happy things with your mother and you worked out.
Sonza said...
Oct. 25, 2012 at 10:00 am
i really loved the way you expressed such a sensitive issue in such a funny way!!! great work!!!
xxLivxx said...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:43 pm
This is so good, i love how you have wrote this , well done! :)
MarieAntoinette2012 said...
Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:36 am
It's good you were able to tell your Mom. I'm glad, cause I can guess how scary that can be.
Deliah This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 7, 2012 at 8:25 pm
I like your writing style: very light-hearted and it is easy to read. You took a situation that could easily have gotten the better of you and looked on the bright side of things. My favorite line:"Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed!" It's good to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Even though I am straight, I have a learning disability and people have in turn tried to "fix me",even though it is something that can't really be fixed. Yay for celebr... (more »)
BellaPrincipessa said...
May 31, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Thank you for posting this! It gives me hope that one day that I will have the courage to come out to my mother. Insperational!
wishingtheskywasbluer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 2, 2012 at 1:48 am
good for you!!!! it takes a lot of courage to do what you did! 5/5 stars for sure:)
Anonymously_Izzy said...
Apr. 10, 2012 at 11:44 am
This was touching, really! You are very brave!
NighttimeVesper said...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm
I probably wouldn't be able to do what you did in your situation. That took courage! Good job!
mdoering said...
Feb. 26, 2012 at 9:38 pm
I really love this. I had a similar experience with my mother. 
Supriya A. said...
Feb. 26, 2012 at 9:17 am
This is the best thing I've read for a very long time!
savetheplanet said...
Feb. 4, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Good for you! I admire your courage.
SeasonalFog said...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 7:58 pm
I like the beginning- it's a good hook. I feel that the middle part with the therapist was lacking, as if that part wasn't finished. It goes from- this will be a fiasco to the therapist ending the conversation.
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 13, 2012 at 10:13 pm
Wow this is very good...the way its written and how you stae something in the first sentance and dont just forget it refer to it again later...nice. and this just inspired me to speak out finally!
eliana924 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 11:15 pm
Bravo to you for posting this. Not only is it a unique story, but it's also written very well. However, I also think the ending could still be worked on.
knjackson5 replied...
Feb. 4, 2012 at 5:02 pm
I agree with this completely and couldn't have said it better myself.
OneofThem This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 7:30 pm
First of all-good for you for posting this. :/ Second of all, I thought it was very entertaining (I feel weird saying it, because it's about your life, but still). The ending seemed a bit rushed, though.
OurSTORY said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Your writing style is very entertaining and while it has a kinda dark humor edge to it you kept it serious enough that the message and seriousness of the plot were maintained. Love it! Also you are a real inspiration for poeple, no matter what or who they are facing, to have the courage to do what they believe is right and be themselves.
swcricket98 said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 4:27 pm
I really loved the meaning of this article. The sentence before the last was the epitome of my views on many controversial topics - I am who I am; deal with it. The only criticism I might have of this piece is that I felt as if the beginning was very well written, but as the story progressed it seemed as if you were rushing to finish. I would love to see this story elaborated even more.
CallieShinezzzz said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 1:57 pm
You've got spunk!! It's a real nice change from all the mundane, mushy things people upload. Keep being honest, keep being fantastic. :)
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