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Intensity

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The tears poured off her eyelids; slid down her cheeks; fell to the floor. Slowly she sank to the ground, trembling slightly. Her breath came in deep sobs, wracking her chest. She barely had enough air. She did not hear the soft footfalls coming ever closer. She did not see him as he sat down next to her. She did, however, feel as his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Turning slightly, the girl buried her face in his shoulder. Her friend held her tighter, resting his head in her soft chestnut curls.

The two of them sat that way for what felt like hours; the girl sobbing loudly on the boy’s shoulder, the boy holding her quietly, steadfastly. Finally, the girl released her last tear. She looked up at the boy, eyes red from crying, cheeks flushed. He turned to her, a small crooked smile on his lips. To the girl’s surprise, tears were slipping down his face as well. “Why are you crying?” she asked softly, voice cracking. The boy considered the question for a second.

“I am crying because you are crying,” he replied truthfully as yet another tear trickled down his handsome face. His smile was still there, unwavering.

The girl stared at him with wide eyes. He stared back at her. A chill like an electric current flowed through both of them. The air around them tingled with static. Slowly, as if pulled by some invisible force, the two teenagers moved closer. Their faces were within a hair’s breath of each other’s. “Why me?” she whispered. “Why did you choose me?” Her eyes darted back and forth, looking for an answer written on his face. “You are the only one who’s real. The only one out of all those girls who knows what it means to truly love someone. Even though he broke your heart, you just keep going. I like that. I think… I think I may even love that.”

His eyes gleamed with a passion long suppressed. “I think I may love you.” His sweet breath lingered on her lips. The girl’s heart began to beat frantically, as if trying to keep up with her rapidly changing emotions. “I think I may love you too,” she admitted.

Without meaning to, the girl shut her eyes. The two leaned even closer, closing the gap between them. His soft lips pressed against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his arms coiled around her waist. The kiss deepened.

Gently, they pulled apart. Both were smiling softly. “Thank you,” the girl said under her breath, so quiet that the boy sitting right next to her wasn’t sure he had heard her at first.

“For what?” She stared deeply into his eyes. He held her gaze, reciprocating the intensity. “For giving me a reason to live again. For saving me from falling.”

“Anytime. Thank you, too. Thanks for letting me in. Thanks for not pushing me away.”

At the same time, the two teenagers said, “I love you,” sealing their fate.

The two leaned in closer, their foreheads, then lips, pressing against the other’s.




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This article has 374 comments. Post your own!

EveMarie said...
Dec. 22, 2010 at 7:55 pm:
a little cliche
 
Padfoot95 replied...
Jan. 18, 2011 at 11:15 pm :
I agree, it's overdone. But at the same time, we all secretly love cliches :)
 
iamAbel replied...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 2:03 pm :
I have to agree as well... not very original... It was cute, I just feel like I've read that same story before. It's also a bit unrealistic, they 'fall in love' extremely quickly. Don't get me wrong though, I enjoyed reading it. :)
 
PrettyPurplePen replied...
Jan. 21, 2011 at 10:56 am :
I have to agree. This story was a little much. It came on too strong for me.
 
a.singlenote This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 6:17 pm :
Agreed, man.
 
Lindsey_O replied...
Mar. 6, 2011 at 2:57 pm :
Thank you all very much for your opinions!! I appreciate it, and I'll be sure to work on that for future pieces. :3
 
heiwagirl replied...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 1:51 am :

I loved every bit of it so beautiful.

 

 
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Love said...
Dec. 17, 2010 at 1:58 pm:
I think they should have used juicy protection
 
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BrownEyedGirl said...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 1:34 pm:
I love it!  I am a sucker for a good love story!
 
Lindsey_O replied...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 3:58 pm :
 Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it! X3
 
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scoot413This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 12, 2010 at 10:22 am:
omigosh! this story is so riveting! i absolutely love how softspoken the characters are and how the bond between them is subtle at first but then blossoms! two thumbs up!
 
Lindsey_O replied...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 3:59 pm :
Thank you very much!!! :)
 
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xBaByGiRrL22xThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 6, 2010 at 10:04 pm:
this is really sweett nd cutee. it honestly brightened my mood(: i too agree with the rush, but it doesn't change much 4 me. good jobb!
 
Lindsey_O replied...
Dec. 11, 2010 at 10:47 pm :
Thank you!! ^-^
 
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OriginalCarbonation said...
Dec. 1, 2010 at 5:32 pm:

I agree with some earlier comments about the rush, maybe it wouldnt be that much. Maybe it would be that he said i love you and hugged her close and she looked up into the eyes of his face and said she loved him too and then it could kinda fade away, i picture it like a movie seen with a zoom out as he kisses her on the top of her head, and she expresses the funny little surge in her heart.  the hope she saw through her tears that it could still go on.

speaking of, the momentum wa... (more »)

 
Lindsey_O replied...
Dec. 11, 2010 at 10:56 pm :
uh huh, I see exactly what you mean!! I'll definately work on improving these kinds of things in the future, thank you!! :)
 
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butnotacrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 7:44 am:

I must agree with the person below me.  It's a lovely story and your writing style is certainly better than many I've read on here, but everything was rushed, and....well....as lovely as it would be, things like this don't really happen in real life.

 

I'm not sure 'steadfastly' is a word.

 

When a separate person speaks, make a new paragraph.

 

Also, the ending...I'm a sucker for happy endings, I'll admit it, but I like happy real... (more »)

 
Lindsey_O replied...
Dec. 11, 2010 at 10:55 pm :

Thank you very much, I appreciate that :3 Though I must agree with you.... I did kind of rush it, and it was highly unrealistic and idealized... '''''>_<  The thing is.. this was probably my first serious creative writing piece... (wrote this in 7th grade, now in 9th) I actually look back at this and cringe at the exact things you pointed out.... I will be sure to keep all of your advice in mind when writing in the future though!!! Thank you so much!! XD

(oh, and I double ch... (more »)

 
OfficialApprover This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 11, 2010 at 11:06 pm :

No problem:)

 

Yeah, looking back on old writing is never funXD Unless you're laughing at yourself.   And I guess I learned something new--I did not realize 'steadfastly' was a word.

 
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doubleblacklover said...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 12:50 pm:
its really beautiful but way to unreal.
 
Lindsey_O replied...
Dec. 11, 2010 at 10:47 pm :
Welll, thank you!! :)
 
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