Intensity

June 13, 2009
By Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell


The tears poured off her eyelids; slid down her cheeks; fell to the floor. Slowly she sank to the ground, trembling slightly. Her breath came in deep sobs, wracking her chest. She barely had enough air. She did not hear the soft footfalls coming ever closer. She did not see him as he sat down next to her. She did, however, feel as his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Turning slightly, the girl buried her face in his shoulder. Her friend held her tighter, resting his head in her soft chestnut curls.

The two of them sat that way for what felt like hours; the girl sobbing loudly on the boy’s shoulder, the boy holding her quietly, steadfastly. Finally, the girl released her last tear. She looked up at the boy, eyes red from crying, cheeks flushed. He turned to her, a small crooked smile on his lips. To the girl’s surprise, tears were slipping down his face as well. “Why are you crying?” she asked softly, voice cracking. The boy considered the question for a second.

“I am crying because you are crying,” he replied truthfully as yet another tear trickled down his handsome face. His smile was still there, unwavering.

The girl stared at him with wide eyes. He stared back at her. A chill like an electric current flowed through both of them. The air around them tingled with static. Slowly, as if pulled by some invisible force, the two teenagers moved closer. Their faces were within a hair’s breath of each other’s. “Why me?” she whispered. “Why did you choose me?” Her eyes darted back and forth, looking for an answer written on his face. “You are the only one who’s real. The only one out of all those girls who knows what it means to truly love someone. Even though he broke your heart, you just keep going. I like that. I think… I think I may even love that.”

His eyes gleamed with a passion long suppressed. “I think I may love you.” His sweet breath lingered on her lips. The girl’s heart began to beat frantically, as if trying to keep up with her rapidly changing emotions. “I think I may love you too,” she admitted.

Without meaning to, the girl shut her eyes. The two leaned even closer, closing the gap between them. His soft lips pressed against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his arms coiled around her waist. The kiss deepened.

Gently, they pulled apart. Both were smiling softly. “Thank you,” the girl said under her breath, so quiet that the boy sitting right next to her wasn’t sure he had heard her at first.

“For what?” She stared deeply into his eyes. He held her gaze, reciprocating the intensity. “For giving me a reason to live again. For saving me from falling.”

“Anytime. Thank you, too. Thanks for letting me in. Thanks for not pushing me away.”

At the same time, the two teenagers said, “I love you,” sealing their fate.

The two leaned in closer, their foreheads, then lips, pressing against the other’s.



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This article has 376 comments.


on Jan. 18 2011 at 11:15 pm
Padfoot95 SILVER, North Vancouver, Other
7 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone is the age of their heart.

I agree, it's overdone. But at the same time, we all secretly love cliches :)

on Jan. 15 2011 at 10:34 am
CocoCrayz12 SILVER, San Antonio, Texas
7 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Let's not and say we did!

So so CUTE!!!!!!! i love this!! HEY I LUV DIS!!!

on Jan. 8 2011 at 10:05 pm
JohnnyDeppLover123 DIAMOND, Holyoke, Massachusetts
54 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.
William Shakespeare

I would agree with this... :( It was a little to much.

on Jan. 1 2011 at 7:02 pm
PoetLaureate07 PLATINUM, Aberdeen, Mississippi
32 articles 0 photos 246 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing..

...i..love...this... WONDERFUL!!!

on Dec. 30 2010 at 5:53 pm
KaylynVictoria SILVER, Breaux Bridge, Louisiana
5 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
Always keep your head up so you never have an excuse to look down at yourself(:

Awesome! Very put together and, well, PERFECT!!!!!!

on Dec. 28 2010 at 6:00 pm
TrueHeartAndSoul BRONZE, Fort Walton Beach, Florida
1 article 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Believe In Yourself And You Will Go Far As For You Are Young And Can Remain Beautiful For The Nights And Days Of Your Life."
"u-we-tsi a-ge-hu-tsa"

you can relate to this but you dont realize you do until she whispers "why me?" its intensee!!(:

kat12 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 25 2010 at 6:24 pm
kat12 BRONZE, Othello, Washington
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
1."Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."
2. "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

This was really good! I loved it!!

on Dec. 22 2010 at 7:55 pm
BungalowBillPhotography, Juno, Alaska
0 articles 0 photos 144 comments

Favorite Quote:
egad

a little cliche

Love said...
on Dec. 17 2010 at 1:58 pm
I think they should have used juicy protection

Lindsey_O GOLD said...
on Dec. 16 2010 at 3:59 pm
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

Thank you very much!!! :)

Lindsey_O GOLD said...
on Dec. 16 2010 at 3:58 pm
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

 Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it! X3

on Dec. 16 2010 at 1:34 pm
BrownEyedGirl GOLD, San Antonio, Texas
11 articles 2 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
If life were easy, where is the adventure?
If you never leap, you will never know what it is like to fly.

I love it!  I am a sucker for a good love story!

on Dec. 12 2010 at 4:14 pm
OriginalCarbonation GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
dream as if you'll live forever
live as if you'll die tomorrow

writers block did you say? in the writers workshop forum there's a thread for that under fiction. it seems to have alot of good things to help you get un-writers blocked :)

on Dec. 12 2010 at 10:22 am
_helenhorton SILVER, Springfield, Ohio
7 articles 3 photos 34 comments
omigosh! this story is so riveting! i absolutely love how softspoken the characters are and how the bond between them is subtle at first but then blossoms! two thumbs up!

on Dec. 11 2010 at 11:06 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

No problem:)

 

Yeah, looking back on old writing is never funXD Unless you're laughing at yourself.   And I guess I learned something new--I did not realize 'steadfastly' was a word.


Lindsey_O GOLD said...
on Dec. 11 2010 at 10:56 pm
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

uh huh, I see exactly what you mean!! I'll definately work on improving these kinds of things in the future, thank you!! :)

Lindsey_O GOLD said...
on Dec. 11 2010 at 10:55 pm
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

Thank you very much, I appreciate that :3 Though I must agree with you.... I did kind of rush it, and it was highly unrealistic and idealized... '''''>_<  The thing is.. this was probably my first serious creative writing piece... (wrote this in 7th grade, now in 9th) I actually look back at this and cringe at the exact things you pointed out.... I will be sure to keep all of your advice in mind when writing in the future though!!! Thank you so much!! XD

(oh, and I double checked, steadfastly is indeed a word! X3 )


Lindsey_O GOLD said...
on Dec. 11 2010 at 10:47 pm
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

Welll, thank you!! :)

Lindsey_O GOLD said...
on Dec. 11 2010 at 10:47 pm
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

Thank you!! ^-^

on Dec. 6 2010 at 10:04 pm
xBaByGiRrL22x PLATINUM, Pearl River, New York
22 articles 0 photos 281 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The goal isn't to live forever, but create something that will."
"If you wanna go, baby let's go; if you wanna rock, I'm ready to roll.''
"No one ever said it'd be easy. They just said it'd be worth it." <3

this is really sweett nd cutee. it honestly brightened my mood(: i too agree with the rush, but it doesn't change much 4 me. good jobb!


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