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Destructive Echoes

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Author's note: I was down when writing this piece and started thinking about my life. I realised that I don't...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: I was down when writing this piece and started thinking about my life. I realised that I don't have to blame myself for everything that happened/happens in my life.  « Hide author's note
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Rumours and love

I was the only male learner who made it into Harrybrooke High School from my primary school so I didn’t have friends. All of them went to Symphony High and so I had to make new ones quickly before I landed in a mortuary and the cause of death would be “isolation”. One of my closest friends, Gabriella, kept me companied though. She seemed to understand me at all times and would stick up for me when rumours about who I was started flying around. I hated the fact that she was protecting a liar and someone who wasn’t true to who they were but Gabby had a few secrets of her own. She had a distorted view of life just as I had but... her’s was severe. She was also in constant conflict with herself and had anxiety but once she was diagnosed, the damage had already been done. We all don’t know where it started but I bet her break-up with the girl she would give up her life for made it worse and yes she was a lesbian. They were perfect, kind of like Romeo and Juliet but... the gay kind and Gabby loved her to bits. They had the kind of relationship that made heterosexual people jealous. Gabby and her girlfriend were meant for each other. They complemented each other in every way possible and their insecurities and flaws turned into their strengths. That is the first time when I realised what love meant. The stories she would tell me about their first kiss and how she made her heart melt enforced the idea that gay is okay in mind. I, too, wished I could have such an amazing relationship so I came out to a few of my friends. Some didn’t take it as well as others (including Gabby), which made me wait a little before addressing the news again. While I was trying to grow as a person, their perfect relationship started to crumble. Crumble isn’t even the appropriate word when explaining this. It exploded into supernova and died out overnight. I watched as Gabby reached a self-destructive stage, looking hopeless and exhausted. She started wearing her tracksuit top daily even in the blazing heat of the African sun. None of us knew what was happening but Gabriella was a self-harm cutter. Her girlfriend shattered her into pieces, pieces that would break even more when picked up and then combined. I was clueless and didn’t understand what was up and that’s when our second year in high school ended. We were all trying to search for meaning in everything that was happening in our lives but no one would reply.
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