The Misadventures of a Teenage Girl
Author's note: Everybody has their own story. This is mine.
Chapter 5The next few days were quiet. Things at home were tense and none of us really said much to each other. School wasn’t any better. As much as I tried to forget the rumors and the harassment, the more it happened.
I was all alone. No one was there for me. I’d spend hours in my room curled in a ball crying. I had no purpose in life, no goal. I was falling into nothingness, slowly losing sight of everything loved. I had been so hurt, so full of pain. I was so bitter; I hadn’t felt happy in
But soon it would all go away.
I’d get a sharp object like a needle and drag it across my skin over and over until I bled. I enjoyed the pain; it was the only thing that made me forget my problems. It took my mind off my problems for long enough for me to feel happy, even for a short time.
This never really helped. As much as I loved the fact that it made me forget, it was only temporary. The problems at school got worse; I was shunned by my own friends. I had never felt so alone.
I was home alone when I walked into the garage and I saw a knife. It was relatively large and sharp enough. I wondered how it would feel to slice through my skin until I bled to death. All my problems would disappear. I wouldn’t burden my parents anymore. It’s not like the kids at school would miss me. It seemed like everybody’s life would be better if I weren’t in it.
I picked up the knife and felt the blade with my finger. It was so sharp. I should do it. I had to do it. This was the only way.
What are you doing? Are you crazy? You have so much to live for!
“What do I have to live for? Everyone hates me! I’m better off dead.” I shouted at the empty room. I pressed the blade against my skin. I could feel my blood pumping through my body. The room filled with the sound of my heartbeat.
You have everything to live for! Why end your life when it has just begun?
“Everyone would be better if I was dead. That’s what they all want.” Every single one of them would be better off without me. I had to do it. I pressed the blade farther. My breath quickened. My heart rate increased. I was terrified. But of what?
Stop! Don’t do this! Think of your brother, think of how he’ll grow up never knowing his sister. Don’t do this to him.
That was true. He had just been born. We had almost lost my dad a little while ago. They couldn’t lose me too. I began to shake. My hand trembled and I dropped the knife. My knees buckled and I dropped to the floor. What was wrong with me? Why was I doing this? I didn’t hate life. I had so many things ahead of me, yet I was ready to throw it all away. Was I crazy?