Essay | Teen Ink

Essay

January 6, 2010
By Sarah Pichler BRONZE, Columbus, Montana
Sarah Pichler BRONZE, Columbus, Montana
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

The content that is in this essay is about God. The public believes in God and scientists are angry because they proved that he does not exist but people still don’t believe them. It also discusses Christianity and how people should not believe it, like how Jesus was born to a virgin and his resurrection, even if scientists disprove these things people will still have faith and believe in God and Jesus. Scientists feel disrespected because they have all of the proof and people still do not believe in them. It also discusses how religion and God fit in with science.

I feel that the authors writing style is good, but she talks too much in huge words and uses too many numbers. The punctuation is also kind of weird because there is way too much. When I was reading this essay I found that I was reading some paragraphs more than once because of the punctuation. One other thing I noticed was that it seemed that she was talking more too you rather than just writing an essay for someone to read. If I were to help her revise this essay I would try to take out punctuation and I would have her write it in a better form.

My overall impression of this essay was good, but it was not the best. She used both sides of the argument, like how she talked from the scientist point of view then talked about a person who believes in God and what they thought. The topic that she brought up is very touchy for some people but she discussed it very maturely. God is hard to write about because there are so many points of view, it is also hard because it is a subject that can cause people to be liked or disliked by the public.

This information relates to me because I was many interests in God, and I feel very strongly in what the information talks about. I do believe strongly in one side of the topic but I understand a little more about the other side after reading this essay. This topic is brought up quite frequently in my life. I feel if I was in a conversation about God I could talk about both sides of the discussion and understand them both. Some of the things I learned in this essay I did not know but most of it I did. This was a very good topic to write about so people can learn more about God or what scientists think about God, Christianity, and Jesus.


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ahmanda said...
on Jan. 13 2011 at 1:17 pm

it is true that got is not real i as a scientist can prove you wrong in many different ways but good essay and believe in what you think is right but great article can do with some changes well done very spiritual amazing job.

yours Amanda.