Facebook Pet Peeves | Teen Ink

Facebook Pet Peeves

April 28, 2014
By mrsperegrine GOLD, Stratham, New Hampshire
mrsperegrine GOLD, Stratham, New Hampshire
10 articles 12 photos 18 comments

Facebook is the website we all love to hate. Even for those of you who proclaim that you despise Facebook, deep down you know you adore it :). You feel like a superstar whenever you log in and thirty people who you are barely acquainted with click the minuscule thumbs up sign and “like” your new profile picture. Or when you write a status update that is just so epically awesome, sassy, owns everyone, and then your “friends” are applauding you with a plethora of “likes” and comments for posting it. It makes you feel like the king or queen of the internet. Yup, that’s what Facebook does…about 10% of the time. However, the other 90% of the time, you are waiting for something to spark your attention and captivate your interest. Occasionally you’ll find something of intrigue, but…..much of the time, you’ll find status updates like these.

Status Update #1:

Lms (like my status) for a rate!

I have seen an abundance of these types of status updates on Facebook and it is really starting to make my brains want to explode into a million pieces annoy me. Ugh! Everyone always rates each other between an 8-10, because at the bottom of their hearts, they know it is a shallow concept to begin with, so they make up for it by giving a rating that is baseless and has absolutely no meaningful criteria whatsoever. Like seriously, I really don’t care about how hot or awesome someone else thinks you are. Why don’t people do a “truth is” instead? At least that has an encouraging basis! However, I do have to admit that it is awkward when someone you barely know “likes” your “truth is” status update and having no clue what to say.

Status Update #2:

I cut my leg shaving in the shower today and now I’m bleeding.

This was literally a status update I once saw and I’m like, “why the fig newton would I, or anyone else, care about this?” Yes, we have all cut ourselves shaving and yes, it’s no fun, but why do users really feel the need to announce this to their 240 Facebook friends? Do they really think so highly of themselves that they’d think that we’d all feel so much sympathy for their little shower accident? Or maybe they’re just bored? If so, find something else to do! Build a snowman, paint your nails, read a book, or go out and purchase a better shaving cream, I don’t care, just please don’t write about it in a status update.

Status Update #3:

I hate me because of you.

You want to know what I hate – - passive/aggressive status updates that, despite your attempts to mask it as poetry, fails in the process. Sometimes, they can give someone a chuckle, but when seeing them ad nauseum, I believe that they can be quite agitating. I think that this is a way people try to stave off live confrontation – by trying to deal with relationship issues by swiping away at the keyboard. I really dislike when people do this because problems should be worked out in real life rather than on the internet. Also, it is not right to get other people involved in your problems. In addition, making status updates like these all the time just makes people appear to be as bitter as dandelions , so please…just stop bombarding me with status updates like these.

Status Update #4:

F*ck this, f*ck everything, life has turned into f*cking sh*t, f*ck, F*CK, F*CCCCKKKKK!!!

I also really get annoyed when people incessantly curse on Facebook. When used appropriately and judiciously, Facebook status updates that include cursing can be humorous or speak true to life. However, most of the time, it just makes you sound like a drunken sailor to be frank. If you really want to get your message across effectively, use a thesaurus or even better, look up some cunning Shakespearean curses. People will take you more seriously if you do, trust me.

These are just some of the things that bother me about Facebook, but I want to spare everyone a forty paragraph rant. Now don’t get me wrong, I think Facebook has **great** utility when used in a positive way. I love using Facebook to showcase my photography to people, keep in touch with friends and family that live far away from me, and it is enjoyable to learn about other people’s lives, but I just strongly resent the way Facebook can be misused sometimes. This is why I am starting to turn more to other social media sites such as Pinterest, Instagram, and blogging rather than being a Facebook addict. In my opinion, Facebook's next project should be to invent a filter for these types of issues.

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