For centuries trees have continuously pestered mankind. Whether it be their obnoxious and untimely falling debris or their reckless swaying branches, trees bug the hell out of humans. However, when it comes to issues such as climate change, air pollution, and economic opportunity, it’s hard to ignore that nature’s own godforsaken plant lying at the root of human irritation may be the solution to these problems.

As trees continue pestering humans like flies buzzing around the dinner table, it becomes harder to ignore those pretentious plants. Their natural annoyance makes it difficult to accept the fact that trees actually have environmentally healing qualities. When it comes to the issues we face every day, I see only one solution to this problem. It kills me to say it, but every person worldwide should be responsible for planting one tree every year.

I already know what you’re thinking and yes: that same plant that covers your lawn in leaves and debris every fall, I want you to plant another one. Before you start blaming the “tree huggers” and “conservationists” for an idea so time-consuming, understand that the benefits of planting more trees promotes a healthier lifestyle for everyone on the planet. Trees combat the effects of climate change by absorbing carbon dioxide in the air and releasing oxygen back into the earth to promote cleaner air. Those sneaky bastards. They’re probably just trying to make up for the fact that they nest the homes of birds who unforgivingly release their business at any given moment.

You know how recently there has been a big issue regarding air pollution and how toxic it can be to our physical health? As you already may have guessed, trees have quite the solution to this problem. The greater abundance of these dirty, pestering plants means a greater quality of air. While I am in NO way telling you how to live your life, planting one tree every year shows physical benefits that are not easily ignored. Additionally, if you want to live a life free of any respiratory diseases it would be wise to put the damn tree in the soil.  

I imagine this proposal seems difficult to agree with when the roof of your house was demolished by a single tree branch after that one thunderstorm. The crash of the thick lumber causing the whole house to shake can have lasting emotional effects on a person. Not to mention the skyrocketing insurance rates that follow. I have a simple reply. Get over it! You must cut ties with the beef you have with trees (as I myself have momentarily done) and realize that your greatest enemy may be the biggest help of all. I understand planting the seed may be hard, but it’s time we all branch out (wink wink) and do what’s right.

Let’s step away from the eco-friendly benefits of planting a tree every year (for my sake and your own), and focus on what we all truly care about. Jobs. Planting trees promotes the economy through the creation of jobs having to deal with lumber. If your disdain of trees is that great, think about it in this way: if you plant a tree you could obtain a job where the very purpose is to cut that filthy piece of timber down. In this case, demolishing the object that creates a burden among all humans creates a more stable economy in the process. There’s no reason not to plant a seed at this point, and to abstain from doing so every year would be a crime against our economy

While it may seem a bit “granola” for an entire globe to plant a tree every year, the benefits can’t be ignored. Looking past the obnoxious leaves, untimely debris, falling bird feces, and unavoidable natural disasters, we owe it to one another to swallow our pride and do what’s right. Who wouldn’t want clear lungs, better air quality, and an economically stable society? Damn it...trees might not be so bad.