The Digital World Has Rewired Our Relationships | Teen Ink

The Digital World Has Rewired Our Relationships

June 10, 2021
By briannapatino BRONZE, Immokalee, Florida
briannapatino BRONZE, Immokalee, Florida
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Our relationships seem to no longer connect through physical or emotional connection, but instead through the nearest cellular tower and the screen of the recipient. Technology has revoked us of our ability to create genuine face-to-face or verbal relationships, holding our social skills captive by its rapid progress and unfortunately our dependency on it. Admittedly, my peers and I would prefer the convenience of connecting through technology rather than face-to-face. We should acknowledge this form of communication. If it means we need to sacrifice our social skills in favor of technology’s benefit, so be it. Right? Well, no, that’s not entirely ok. With the ever-lasting expansion of technology, our ability to mold relationships surrounding physical and verbal connection progressively decreases. This deeply troubles me.

Not that there aren’t advantages. Technology enables our electronics to serve as a protective barrier from others, providing us shelter from the worry of our face turning red while speaking to others. Yet while technology has allowed for such outlets of communication and comfort, it has simultaneously neglected the value of face-to-face connection. With the easy access to technology, we send endless streams of text messages but defer from holding verbal communication. In a poll, where I asked my peers if they felt that social media has prompted us to be less sociable in person, 40 out of 60 people believed that technology discourages socialization.

Evidently, this idea of technology taking possession of our ability to socialize outside of a device is popular among young adults. Admittedly, I have fallen victim to this, making numerous online friends yet shunning in-person conversations. For instance, through the access of social media, pushed forward by technology, I made an online friend named A. Through text everything appeared to be perfect; I thought that once we met at school the friendship that we had built would only deepen. I was caught by surprise: establishing emojis and lines of text messages as the foundation of a friendship does not serve as a strong base for a face-to-face relationship. Moreover, I had seen A walk into class, so I followed behind her. Our anticipated meet consisted of silence, stares, and eventually an awkward wave. After approximately twenty seconds of standing next to each other, we walked to our seats but didn’t even speak to one another despite sitting near each other.

Throughout the entire day the idea that we didn’t connect the same way as we did on social media continued to linger in my mind. A few hours later, I came across a short clip of two individuals who met in person for the first time and shared the same reaction between A and I: awkward waves, nervous smiles, and silence. I sent this video to her explaining how the video reminded me of how our encounter went and joked about the situation over text, which lead to one of our normal conversations. It appears that my ability to socialize remains trapped within my device. Ultimately, we continue to text nearly every day only to further this artificial friendship which does not exist outside of a screen. Author Sherry Turkle shares the experience of a young teenager in her article “No Need to Call” to further note that technology discounts the importance of face-to-face connection. Through texting, the teenaged daughter serves as a mediator between her mother and father (508). Essentially, technology undervalues in-person communication as her parents seem to abstain from speaking to one another if not through Aubrey’s phone. Overall, at face value forming online relationships appears to be positive; however, these artificial relationships lack a genuine connection.

When you recall your favorite or most resonating memories, they are presumably flooded with different emotions which enable you to feel a far deeper connection with those memories. The transmission of such feelings become endangered at the grip of expanding technology. Within genuine relationships you share laughs, tears, hugs, kisses, along with other physical and emotional connections. Unknowingly, we are blind to realize that emojis and “lols” are beginning to replace that of a real laugh or a physical touch. For instance, what assures you that when you send a video you found to be hilarious, the recipient genuinely laughed or simply masked their silence with a laughing emoji? Does a virtual hug provide you the same comfort as of a real one, all while tears trickle down your cheeks? I presume they don’t. Emojis and text messages are not capable of translating the same feelings that raw emotions do in a face-to-face relationship. Social media historian Allison Graham, in her TedTalk “How Social Media Makes Us Unsocial,” also made the same distinction that abbreviated forms of communication restrict our ability to genuinely express ourselves (Graham). Evidently, emotions are ignored by our increasing inclination to use technology to form relationships rather than developing an in-person connection. It seemingly appears that not only do we no longer fail to express emotions of love, compassion, or anger, but forget how to do so when we are forced to face our relationships in person.

Technology makes emotions and in-person relationships appear more of a burden if they don’t fit the parameters of a short text or emoji. I share an experience that communicates the same idea that technology continuously degrades the importance of having emotions within the foundation of a face-to-face relationship. For example, while I was in Georgia, I met another online friend named L. The following day L, my cousin, and I met up together at the Mall of Georgia to simply take a stroll and talk. In person we got along very well. We laughed all day and talked about ourselves such as the devious things we did as children and generic information including our favorite music, food, color, etc. Essentially within one day we were able to form a strong bond. This friendship however had a completely different narrative through our phones. For instance, the conversations were bland, almost as if they had no life, interest, and most importantly emotion. I was under the impression that L didn’t want to engage in a conversation such as the one we both enjoyed in person. Even more puzzling was that when we met for the second time, everything appeared to be normal again. We talked until our mouth no longer caught up with our words and laughed again until our stomachs caught cramps. What I need to emphasize is that when there is an absence of emotion, we neglect that relationship whether it is or isn’t our intention to do so.

Aside from this there are also forms of expression and communication that can only be felt in person. Rachel Belmont, writer of “The Effect of Social Media on Social Skills,” highlights that the use of social media makes it difficult to both understand and express emotions(Belmont). For instance, it is almost as if one’s physical presence can emit certain energies and emotions. An example of this is when you and your friend immediately turn to one another and smile and know exactly what one another is thinking without speaking a word. These are forms of connections which are disregarded by technology and will eventually be forgotten. This has struck me massively because it forces me to worry if all my relationships will be drained of emotion and lack connection.

What I have gathered from forming digital relationships is that they take possession of our ability to socialize outside of a screen. Technology progressively neglects the significance of how being able to express emotions contributes to the development of a sincere relationship. Knowing this, I understand now that all the false notions fed to us claiming that technology brings us together is half of the truth. While we connect at a faster rate, we risk forming unauthentic relationships. Understanding these effects of technology can allow us to work toward a future goal. What kind of goal? One that ensures that we do not lose ourselves within the whirlpool of technology but capable of being ourselves outside the limits of a screen. Equally important, we should remember to show and express our emotions in-person to grant the relationship due diligence. For instance, instead of texting your partner that you love them, invite them to the park or the beach while you walk together and listen to one another’s stories to show that you care. In doing so we may slowly disconnect from superficial friendships which only exist within our devices.  

 

 

 

                                                        Works Cited

Graham, Allison. “How Social Media Makes Us Unsocial.” YouTube, uploaded by

      TEDx Talks, 10 Nov. 2014, youtu.be/d5GecYjy9-Q

Turkle, Sherry, “No Need to Call.” They Say / I Say: the Moves That Matter in Academic

       Writing with Readings. W. W. Norton & Company, 2011.

Belmont, Rachel. “The Effect of Social Media on Social Skills.” Horizon Online. 7 Jan. 2019,

       lhshorizon.com/2828/opinions/the-effect-of-social-media-on-social-skills/                            



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