It seems as if the point of writing in school is not to be honest to oneself or to explore issues, to make a testament to one's soul. This is what it should be. It seems as if writing is now an exercise in trying to prove you're smart.

For instance, I recently wrote a history paper that said, when you got down to it, nothing. It was enough rambling double talk and included enough vocab words, though, to warrant an A-. If you write simply, it is considered to be dumb. If you honestly expresse how you feel, how you thins, how you ARE about a certain topic, it isn't as important as proving that you are capable enough to explore the issue, even if the question had not been raised from the beginning. In kindergarten we are asked why we like certain things. Why must we justify our opinions? Often times the justification is as general as the initial opinion. If you ask me why I like a certain piece of art, and I say because the colors match and I like the linear qualifications, what is the bloody difference from saying I just LIKE it?

I wish I could just ... be. You know? I am often too busy asking why I think this than to appreciate the fact. I can't form my personality until I'm in college. Everything I think must be carefully weighed for quality, whether it fits well within the norms, if it doesn't, how I feel about that, if it does, how I do. I wish I could just be honest in my feelings. But no. I have to get an A. I have to extrapolate, convey, articulate, mystify.

Is writing like abstract art? If one belays the same meaning, does it matter how one conveys it? Whether one uses three colors or five million? Isn't the meaning the same anyway? ?