Once Ego | Teen Ink

Once Ego

October 17, 2019
By Brandon Adorno Colon, Madison, Wisconsin
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Brandon Adorno Colon, Madison, Wisconsin
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It was a regular old day, like any other. Lilithz, an 18 year old girl that has two caring parents and she is an only child. She is a lovely girl with long and straight hair, that curves at the end. She has clear blue eyes with a tint of green. In a small school she is popular and tries to keep up with everything and everyone. She is a normal student in grade and in keeping attention, she is an average student. The only difference about today is this day won’t be the same as the others. Lilithz went to bed like any other day, waking up she gets up to see a great morning. Although the sun is out but no sunlight is emitting, like it was night with the sun out. She shrugged this thinking is just clouds or she hasn't woken up correctly so that she gets up and get ready for another day. While doing her morning routine she notice everything is a bit off. She notices that the air conditioning is higher but it feels colder in the house. Then the pantry was all mixed up, and such as she continue with her morning routine observing all of the differences that the house had. She thought for herself that everything was subtle nothing was a greater deal of change in the house. 


While observing she notices the moon was out and the sunlight was missing from the morning, which was from the moon. “That’s strange,” said Lilithz. Then she noticed many bigger things that she couldn't when it was “morning”. Her parents arent home, the food was all rotting, the water was replaced with wine. While she was observing all of this she gets startled when her bedroom door opens. After a few minutes she can hear footsteps going down stairs. Llilithz was scared so she hid but having a way to see who was in her room. Few minutes past, nothing came down the stairs. She keeps waiting to see if someone comes down… No one. No one came down. Finally Lilithz comes out of her hiding spot it was “morning night” when she came out, observing everything to see if she could find something to hint on the person who was home with her. Nothing. Again nothing was found and all of the things she organized and found where gone. She runs to her room. Nothing was in her room. A completely empty room. In shock she runs down stairs. When she place her foot on the last step, she could hear two voices. She went quietly to check and saw her parents. She was about to jolt and give them a hug but then, she noticed that those people weren't her parents. At the same time they were alike. The mother has beautiful long brown hair although is short and blond now, the father is great shape firm voice however here is lazy and his voice is weak. She slowly backups, then she bumps into something. She turns and faces herself but with one small differences. This “Lilithz” seems more natural. The real Lilithz freak out and starts running while this “Lilithz” screams and chases her. From running in and out of the house, Lilithz hid in her closet that appears to have some of her stuff. 


This comforts her and makes her feel happy. But there is something off with all of the happiness. She feels empty as if everything in the closet makes her feel empty. Minutes past and she hasn't heard anything so she walk carefully out. She looks over the room and faces the mirror. She was crying. She ponders on the reason for crying. What would've made her cry. She ponders and ponders but can’t think of nothing. She gives up and tries to find a way out of this madness. Making sure that the coast is clear, she goes down stairs to find herself in a colorless house. As if the color of everything was taken away. The only visibility there was, was black or white. “No matter what, I'll find my way out of this.” she said. Although she already tried going out, it took her right back here. Then she search the house for something. The more she search the less things are in the house. A few stuff stayed visible. A blue camera from when she was little, “this camera, I used to take a lot of pictures when I was little, I remember mom telling me I was good at it, but I stopped recently.” Saying this, she took a single picture. Looking at the picture, there was something off with it. There was something in the picture that wasn't in front of the camera so she takes another. And they match up like a puzzle. So she continued taking pictures until she got everything. 

“It's a message!” she say with joy. The message says  “accept and be free”. Confused with the meaning of this message,she goes around, a bit more down stairs to see if she can find anything else. She doesn’t find anything, but remember that there was some stuff in the closet. Lilithz wander back to the closet, she knows that it was the only place she felt a bit safe. Lilithz ponder on the massage and goes through the closet thinking there can be something here to help her. Then a painting appeared, this painting had color as the blue camera she found. The painting was painted by her when she was little and it’s a nature painting. When she was little she liked to paint and to take pictures of nature from many different places of the world. She held both items very close to her because they were important to her. She acknowledge her past, accepted her past as the past made her who she is. Suddeling in those moments, the closet got more color. Surprised, she walked out of the closet to discover that her house had some of is color again. She goes downstairs to see some of the furniture was back. She was in so much joy she went around to see the house and more things appear. Then a shock hit her. How did this happen. How did everything get a bit more normal here. 

Lilithz went through the house again to see if anything else change and the more she was looking, the more she doesn't understand. Everything was going blank again. This time there was almost nothing. No furniture, no light, no moon, and no sun. Just an empty white layout of a house. She starts to feel hollow, an emptiness greater than what she felt when she was in the closet. She goes to the corner of the room and slides down and starts to cry. She cries and cries, but no matter how much she cries, no matter how much she sobs, nothing happens. She doesn't know how long has past since she has been here. She misses her parents, but she didn't miss her life in school. She just wants to be happy with her parents and be herself. She stands up, she cleans herself off, and stares at what she has in front of her watching from a distance since she was crying. She was waiting for that other “self”. They walk to meet themselves in the middle but there something different. Both of them look more alike than before. Actually they are the same now. Both of them stare at each other but nothing happened. There was nothing to be said or done. She felt grief and empty when she looks at “herself”. She didn't like what she has become. A girl that was happy and like what she did with her life. That was responsible with her decision. And finally the one world came out. The single most important word that this “Lilithz” would say and be her last words, “Do you perceive it now?”.

When she wakes up, theres a bright beeping noise that can be heard in the background. Coughing came from the distance and a faint word can be heard. She opens her eyes carefully scared from what can happen. She sees herself in a hospital bed, her mom and dad at the door. They have not realize she has woken up yet. She tries to call for them but nothing came out. She makes movement so she get their attention. She let something fall and looks down. There were flowers. Gray flowers. Her parents notice and rapidly came to their daughters aid. The father called for the doctor or nurse to come. While her mother comforted her and tell her not to move and to breath. That everything is gonna be ok. Lilithz felt faint and passes out from anxiety.

A week has passed and Lilithz was in a coma for a month. The cause of such coma was never found. The doctor notice a large brain activity while she was in such coma but never found what was happening to her. They question Lilithz but she didn't remember anything about the coma or the days after she entered. The doctor said they haven't seen anything like it and to check up on her in a week or 2. Her parents reported that she’s more like herself now. That this has brought a lot of questions to the doctors. Lilithz was more accepting with herself and open with everything around her. She took up painting and photography classes, but in the past she said “that wasn't the model now that's outdated”. The doctors were confused but glad there wasn’t any side effects that were awful to anyone.  Lilithz was seen to be more happy about herself and accepting but there is one thing that Lilithz is not telling everyone. She does remember some of it, and sometimes she sees “her” watching her. Standing there doing nothing, just watching her. Despite this she knows that no harm will come to her, but one thing still in her head. What did she mean by perceive?



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