1. Make sure to use proper punctuation. There are lots of online punctuation guides that can be helpful. 2. Make sure to start a new paragraph every time a new character speaks. You mostly did well at this, but I noticed a few exceptions. 3. Consider putting thoughts in italics instead of quotation marks to differentiate them from spoken dialogue. 4. I get that this is in a “fairy tale” style, but it’s kind of unrealistic that Cece and Braden would fall in love immediately. Maybe you could just have them meet and start to like each other, hinting that they could fall in love later on. Or you could just keep it the way it is, because readers are likely to be more lenient about realism since the story is similar to a fairy tale. Also I can’t figure out what the “Easter egg” is! Can you tell me? I’m curious now!