Forever Foreign Love | Teen Ink

Forever Foreign Love

June 4, 2013
By Screamer BRONZE, simpsonville, South Carolina
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Screamer BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
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Favorite Quote:
my mom's [just retired] boss told me "the challenge is to conquer yourself if you do that you ruin all other battles." :)

Author's note: Ths story came from an Idead on the TV show host, only the ability of Teagan, the rest it strictly my own ideas and thoughts.

What if you healed? Instantly. Some poeple think Im lying, humans can NOT have extra abilities. Skills that have yet to have been mastered by human intellegence alone. Im not though, I DO heal instantly frrom any wound and I assure you I am not crazy. A single cut to the wrist for mere seconds, the blood seeming to come frrom no where. This ability is a dream come true for people of the emo society. Releasing their anger in anger slashes across the wrist will neveer scar. People can never call them weak, emo, and names that hurt. Or would it be a nightmare, because for some the scars of self infliction show the pain that they hide behind their eyes. No one sees the pain, until they see your wrist. If you heal though how will anyone no your pain? The power to heal instantly exist, Im living proof, yet why do I feel my soul is still damaged?
I hate this ability for more than just simple scars to show my pain. It takes away my indivisuality! My piercing are simple pushed out by un seen force, the holes closing in a milli second. I tried hair dye and all it did was drip right out to were the rainbow seemed to be raining and pouring down my face. I will not even get into tattoos. They simple desinagrate right there on the skin. Thei ability is a course. No one knows who I truley am. Clothing can only express so much. I will find away to get this curse out though.


It was 5 years ago, yesterday. I remember I had just turned eleven and had some birthday money left. That was why I was at the Ice-Cream truck. Other wise I neveer would have been there getting a orange-creme-sicle. Mom and Dad were talking to the nieghbors, smiling and dad waved at me when he saw me watching them. I waved and smiled then turned around to the sound of the man in the truck. "Hey come get your Ice-Cream kid, it's dripping all on my arm!" I turn to grab it, so eager to taste orange goodness on my tongue. I never would though, not that day. I reached for it and I saw a dart come flying out from the Ice-Cream. Before I could even react or do anything, it lodged straight into my hand. This thing numbed me and I felt my legs go out, but no one saw me as I feel. I never stuck out and never wanted to, but right then it would have been nice. No, though, no one saw me as I sat there scared that I could not move for my body was paralyzed and I could not speak for my mouth felt nailed shut. Then I felt rough hnads on me, and I wonder how no one saw a child being dragged away. It got very cold suddenly and I realized I had been put in the truck. I was surrounded be Ice-Cream, every eleven year old's dream. Except me, this was a nightmare. Then I saw the person's face. It was blurry, the dart having f*d with my vision. I could see gold though, in his teeth. Before I got a better look I saw him hold up something. This was silver and I automatically knew it was duct tape. These rough hands wrapped it so tightly around my arms, legs, and mouth. Then I felt a sharp object enter my skull and I decided it was another dart. My eyes closed and so many colors danced behind my eyelids. Suddenly I came to the conclusion that it was wearing off because I could feel something extremely sharp dig deep into my right leg. It felt square, maybe. The pain was unbearable and I could barely stay concisous. I tried to scream, but my body was still paralyzed. Luckliy I felt something stab my head again and I was knocked clean out.

I remember waking up sitting at the bottom of a slide in my neighborhood. I starting cryng uncontrollably and shaking hysterically. I tried yelling my mom's name, but my voice still felt weak and my throat was raw. How many days had I been out? I assume some near-by neighbor saw me becuase I had 4 cop cars surrounding me and one charging towards my sitting place. I probaly wuld have kicjed and fought, but the d@mn darts had my muscles weakened. He scooped me up and sat me in the front of his cop car and we were driven to I assume the station. I had fallen asleep from complete exhastion and awoke with my mom on my left crying, dad on my right espressionless and a P.I sitting acroos the table from us. This person pushed and pushed and pushed for questions and I tried to tell eveerything I could. I was in complete shock though, maybe even denial it even happened. I mean who would do this to a child? Finally my dad made the ma stop asking questions and allowed us to leave. That was a long time ago though and today Im starting 9th grade. I was starting at Dawner's High School. I kn ow most of the people, everyone has a catagory. I believe it is wrong to stereotype, but it is neccassary for me to survive this bully-field. There are five groups, and right on top is the populars of course, eveery school has them. Right under them is the wanna-be's, they try so hard to be cool and right on top when they are simple not. You must include the smart people, the ones that have rich mommies and daddies, get all A's and will go to Harvard. Almost like wanna-be's but smarter. Every school has a group of Misfits, or who I call the scaries. The goths, emos, scenes, even the people who are judged for sexualtiy. I did not fit in any of these groups though, a slight loner possible, I was in my own little group. You could call it the group of no one.

New grade, new scehduele. I had History first, The lights were off and I took a seat in the back, right next to the door to be first out. I always sat in the back, no one could mess with you there. Sorta like being invisible, which is what I needed.

I throw my legs up and cross them so they hand off the edge of the table and reach for my bookbag. Pulling out the worn-down purple notebook, i also grab a pencil. I was prepared for a long class of doodling instead of taking notes. I begin with words, words that would be upon my arms if I didn't reject the ink completly. The list went along the lines of Demon, Worthless, Hopeless, Reject, Defect. //// I drew four slashes right across the page in a spur of rage. If I could bleed they would be on my arm. I was momentarily destracted from my anger though as the door open. Some kid late to class and it was only enough of a side-tracktion to make me write words again. Then Two very large flat-bottom shoes with alliver bucckles up to the knee and solid black leather combat boots slam on to the desk to mimic my position. My eyes dart to them with most likely a look of annoyance. I slowly start to look up to see the face, not before trying to figure out who the person is though. What catoagory? The boots implied to be goth, although this person had a bright yellow pair of skinny jeans with holes and purple paint splattered randomly across the material. Maybe a scene. The pants are held up by a thin little blue belt only half way in the belt loops, hanging loose on one side. Maybe popular...wanna-be? Theres a poofy navy blue sweatshirt, cut down the middle with what looks to be rusty garden shears, To cover the person's arms stating a possible emo. I catch a glimpse of the shirt as I try to make my death stare look like a casual death stare instead of a catorgorizing stare. This person had on a B.V.B band-tee on! I disguise my excitment and move my death stare to the person's face. Most of it was covered by long curly-slash-wavy orange hair, it almost long died by the intensity of it, that stop alomst half way down this person's stomach. With hair like that she had to be popular. I look past the very popping feature though and notice this person has the stupidest grin, like they are the happeist person to be alive. I notice the mouth is full of rainbow colored braces and that the smile reaches her eyes. I almost missed the eyes, for she wore big bulky nerd glasses. Now she appeared to be a dork with these on. The colors of the eyes grabbed me though. One appeared to be of a neon green while the other was a deep ocean blue. Right under here eyes were lightly sprinkled freckles, slightly colored of gold. Suddenly something of blood red and pearl white reflected from her ears. GAGES! the women had poke' ball gages. I am not one to say the "in" words but honestly they were swag. What was she? Like a collage of all of the groups. Like she could read my mind she starts talking. "Hi i'm Riley, my parents asumed I would be couragous, which is why they named me Riley!" She talked way to much. I decided at around 2 seconds to late to respond. "Teagan." I swoop my head back down and restart my random word paper. I had been zonked out, this person whom I had never meet seemed to have a unnatural pull to them. "No, incorrect." I say very clearly in my mind. "I will not fall in love, again. Incapablity of this especially since we both happened to be girls

"Ta-gain?" She tried and failed miserably to repeat my name. "Aw you say it incorrectly, it is Tea-gain." Well that was a lot ruder sounding inside my screwed up mind. "Well," She says continueing as if I was NOT being rude. "That is very pretty and extrodinary." Well I have NEVER heard that one before. I think roughly. "My middle name is Aoife, which of course has a meaning as well. It stands for Beauty." She sounded almost embarrassed to have a name that sounded very much so self0bsorbed. "Sounds about right to me." I think. "WAIT NO! Just some normal chick." My mouth was faster than my logical thinking though. "It suits you perfectly." I stare into her eyes. "Crap, did I just say that?!" I drop my head really fast and she responds to it. "I believe it would suit you much better." I saw her smile and bit my lip to block one of my own. "Stop it!" I thought making the smile disappear and slashed my paper more. She of course noticed and had to comment. "Are those cuts on paper instead of on yourself?" She stares thoughtfully. "You can trust to tell me things you know." I trust nobody! "I should try that sometimes." I stare at her. She cut!? She was smiling revealing one dimple. I glanced at her sleeves and without thinking grab them and reveal the faint scars. "NO!" I accidently yelled out loud. The whole class turns towards me and she snatches her arms back, sliding the sleeves back into place. Of course she blushed when embarrassed. "Please don't hurt yourself..." I whisper ignoring the stares. "Miss Asher, do you not wish to take the test tommorrow? It is simple to see what you know, not graded." "Um, yeah, sorry man." Satisfyed with my answer he turns back around. Janice Pens doesn't though. Jet black hair, bangs perfectly straight across her tan forhead, wearing skinny jeans with a peach blouse, both way to small. Popluar b!tch. Wearing her annoying rainbows and staring at me with cold as ice blue eyes. "Looks like Ta-Gain loves the new girl." She sneers and Im responding right back. "Thank you but it's Tea-gan, and Im NOT a les....." My words trail out as I feel a hand with purple nail polish painted nails slip into my own hand. I look up shock controling every other thought. What does she do? Smile, of course

The bell rings and I zoom off to my next class. Or try anyway. "Teagan slow donw girl." "Go away!" I say quite loudly trying to block out the fact her voice sounded like bells. "God my thoughts sound cheesy." I thought as I continued to move to class. "Teagan!" The purple nails on delicate fingers find away into my short rough hand. The contact sends electricity through my arm and I try to pull free even though it was a good electric. "Teagan, are you mad at me?" She asked in such a heart breaking voice that I gave up trying to break free from her grasp. "I, I just don't know you!" Why did she so despratly want to be friends? I don't make friends they all walked away one at a time just like my mom said people would. I realized I was a monster that simply hide under a fake happiness and I always blamed others, when in fact it was always me who it was to blame. Once they saw that they left.

So why won't she?!
I couldn't even care for her, or anyone, my last boyfriend made sure of that. Never love again. How sickening that it's been a year and I still love him, can't get past a stupid 8th grade heartbreak. I arrived at my next class, or we did, cause Riley still had her hand around mine. I had been so lost in thought I had allowed it to stay. Literature/language arts, I could handle this class being decently good in it. I moved forward and her hand slipped from mine. My hand felt so empty and hollow, no I can't think that way. I turned back though and wished I hadn't because her face was so broken and helpless that I went to wrap her into a hug. I was washed forward though with the crowd and she was lost in the mass of faces. I gave up and moved to my seat, with of course Riley still in m head. I couldn't like her. Just another thing to have wrong with me. Bi-sexual, of course. My mother would be even more ashamed. I pretty sure my mom is homophobic so if I were to be one, no Im not, I am straight!. "All right class since today is your first day I want you all to have a seat so we can begin. Lets see how well you people are at poetry!" I snapped back, poetry, Im good at that. I grab a random pencil from my bag and start writing. My poem went a little like this


not poured, but welded in me

Unable to release this curse

A way to feel pain in a need.

I hadn't meant to but I had written about my ability to never feel pain, and be injured. Well that wasn't completly accurate. I could feel pain, but not even a supernatural power could stop me from mentally being shot, slapped, stung, and killed over and over again

"Teagan wait up!" Her calling my name across the room was starting to become a habit. People still stared as a girl called after a girl though. "Teagan, Teagan, stop moving!" Riley never gave up, she just kept shouting across the long cafeteria trying to get in front of people in line to get to me. Alot of people gave her the finger or call her things, and she just kept marching foward. I tried to ignore her and just grab my salad but she caught up to me. I feel to hands press lighlty on my shoulders and what felt like lips on my cheek. "You really are fast, you know that!?" Did she just kiss me?! I stood frozen forgetting the salad in my hand and all the people who were still grumbling about her. "Come along silly, lets get a table!" She grabbed my hand and the salad slide out and laid perfectly flat on the counter it came from. She was strong, plus i was still in complete shock she had kissed me in front of people. So when we sat down at an empty table outside I was still slightly out of it. "So....hi!" she said waving up in my face all smiles. That made me snap I think. "Why are you so freaking determined to be my friend?" I say quite annoyed, yet she just blows it off with a casual shrug. Suddenly she smiles like a loopy person and starts talking. "Did you know your eyes are two different colors?" My eyes, why did she have to bring up my eyes?! "Well nah-dip, they are MY eyes." I say then feel bad when I see her face fall at my harsh tone. "I'm sorry ," I say, why was I apologizing?! "I just don't really like my eyes..." I drop my gaze truly upset I had hurt her but I couldn't explain WHY I was upset about it. It was true though, That I hated my eyes. I remember a time when they were both gorgeous deep ocean blue. After that horrible night though, I woke up to a color I couldn't stand to have on my eyes. Every time I looked in the mirror I was reminded of that nightmare. I hated them for taking my beautiful eye color. Now my eyes made me an even larger outcast. Riley's Harmonic voice brings me back to the present. "Truly exquisite!" She marvels. Her voice was so sincere and caring I felt my cheeks burn bright red and I ducked my head down to hide it. She cupped her hands around my face though, in a caring way, I could tell she wanted me to look at her but she didn't want to hurt me, and she looked me straight in the eye. She stared so intensely I felt like she was trying to read my mind, and as crazy as It sounded I locked my mind so that if she COULD, she wouldn't be able to get anything from me. My eyes had been searching her face for a sign of, something, but now they were focusing in hers with just as much intensity as her own eyes. "Lavender, yet theres a slight plum color that runs through it like veins, it's incredible!" She stopped talking, making me relieved yet sad because she made me feel like I was worth something. She keep staring hard core directly into my eyes. I wanted to look away, yet I felt to be in a trance. I had enough control of my senses to continue to look my mind, no one was getting inside this skull of mine. We were still staring into each others eyes when Janice the menace and her group of wanna-be-paparazzi walkied by snickering. "Look they're being all lovey-dovey girls, lesbians typically are overly gooey and VERY clingy!" She said as they walked off laughing like she had any ACTUAL information about being into girls, which I still say I'm not because I HAD a boyfriend, granted he was a crappy one, but he was still a BOYfriend! Riley dropped her gaze and when I looked over she had tears. Anger boiled up within me and I almost went up to Janice and knocked off the tens layers of makeup off her phoney face. I didn't though and while I gave her a devil eye I heard Riley whisper "Please don't hurt her, her words are nothing, we matter, not her." I felt her hands leave my face making me feel alone until I realized she had simply moved one into one of my hands. There was a flicker of a moment were I believed her, and wanted to BE with her. Then I remembered we were both girls and I yanked my hand away and stood up, in which she mimicked. "No, go away, I don't do this." I followed my own words and began to walk away. "Teagan wait, please." Her voice broke on the last word and with it my heart. I stopped mid walk and waited, for what I don't know. She was speaking again and I listened. "Let me come over tonight." "And why would I do that?" I heard her walk over to me and suddenly her hand was in mine spinning me back around to look at her. "Because I have answers." I was taken back by the sudden ugerncy in her tone and I pulled back. "I don't want answers!" I got away and ended up under the tree in front of the school. Emergency Ipod time was activated and I popped on my prized beats and turned it on full blast to The xx-Heart skipped a I shouldn't listen to it. Funny it was two-sided. "Sometimes I still need you" I shouldn't want that boy but if it helped get Riley out of my mind along with the questioning possibility of me being not so straight, I would take him in a heartbeat. Yet my "heart skipped a beat", and now that I have caught it and I'm reaching for HIM, hes out of reach and someone else is much more closer. Someone who "I could give so much more". So now Im struggling to get in, or is it out? I hadn't realized I had zoned out until I heard a new song playing that reminded me why I hated going home. As much as I hated going home I had to because it was 5 o'clock. Maybe the song would be right again,
"I’ll be coming home
Just to be alone
Cause I know you’re not there
And I know that you don’t care"
I jump up and start jogging towards my house.

I couldn't be so lucky, The lights were on and I could see my mother's fancy Porsche. "I can hardly wait to LEAVE this place!" The song was on loop and I whispered the line in perfect sync with the singer as I approached my front door. Grabbing my bright green house key, I unlocked the door and walked in.
[Teagan's house is grander, larger stairs, taller stairs, etc.]

"You useless child, where were you!?" My mother screamed at me. She appeared from my left coming out of the first door that lead to the living area. I glanced to my right, Dad's office doors were closed. Sadly that meant he was sleeping, because I saw his car beside mom's outside. Had he not been home I would have yelled right back at mom. Not tonight. "I feel asleep at school." I mumble and head for the stairs. "You expect me to believe that?" She yelled moving to block my path. "Yes, I do, because it's the truth!" I say looking her in her black eyes with my blurred ones. With anger or tears I couldn't be sure. I used my left hand to shove her out of the way and marched up the stairs. I felt her icy hand grab my wrist and I stopped, holding back a yell of insults and tears. "Where do you THINK your going?" I spin around and look at her polished face, with mahogany hair done by a professional, and perfectly manicured and pedicured nails and glare evily at all the phony-ness of it. "I'm going to do my homework" I jerk my hand away and stomp up the stairs. "Don't look for dinner, because worthless people don't get fed in this house!" She said "Didn't want it any way mother." I say, hollering down the stairs. "You will tomorrow and if your not here by 5:30 you won't get it, again." I slammed my door and collapsed onto my bed. Sliding my hand under my mattress, I find the jar of peanut butter and my soup spoon. I unscrewed the jar absentmindly and get a big spoon full from the jar popping the whole spoon in my mouth. I can hear dad yelling at mom which means her yelling woke him up. They were always yelling, I'm not sure why they got married in the first place. Dad has even threatened to leave. He told me once he would never leave me though. I think that's the reason he continues to put up with her. Here in California moms almost always get custody, Dad didn't stand a chance. I glanced over and look at the picture of me as a kid, my hair pinned back on one side while my curls ran wild down my back. The blue eyes stared back at me filled with love and happiness. I was so overwhelmed with the love in them that my pain lashed out at it and I threw my spoon at the frame so that it shattered. Tears rushed down my face as I stood in front of my mirror. My hair mimicked the picture now, the day taking away my hours of straightning it this morning. I threw my signature green beanie down on the desk and stared at my hideous purple eyes leaked beautiful blue tears. I grabbed a hair tie and tossed my hair into a messy bun and wiped my eyes. No use in crying. I began my night rutine starting at my closet. I found the shirt I was looking for and threw it on, looking down at the words screaming back up at me. "You bring out the beast in me." I say reading the words to the sleeping with sirens shirt that reached my knees.tumblr_m1xb3eTHD71r1pm7po1_500

Continuing towards my bed, I grab my Ipod from under the spot on the desk in which I threw my beanie hat. Still searching for a song, I plop onto my bed. A few names fly into my eye sight but I knew what song I was looking for before I actually knew what song I was looking for. Of Mice & Men appear in front of me and I click the song I want, placing my solid black Ipod5 into it's stereo and turn it up completely. I get comfy on my bed and the song begins,
"This time I'll, make you,

Proud to see me over"

Once again I reach into my mattress, this time to put up the peanut butter and spoon and to pull out the neon green mouth piece. Next I find the thin line I ripped in my mattress and grab the silver knife, sharpened to perfection, along with the newly bought tweezers, as the others were broken from the last time. The last thing I grab is under my bed and I pull out the dark red towel that once had black skulls on which were now blocked out by even darker red splotches over it making a towel that once was simply a towel at the pool, a horror item. I placed it under my right leg so that my ankle was angled up closer to me and jammed the mouth piece in my mouth. I held the knife an inch from my ankle horizontally. I must be an expert by now, after all the years of doing this, since I was ten. I slam my teeth down on the mouth piece and slam the blade against my flesh and veins, going straight down ti'll I hit something normal people would mistaken as a bone.

It wasn't a bone though, it was the thing that took away my beautiful blue eyes, the ability to bleed and scar, and the pleasure of eating an orange-crème-sicle. "I HOPE I HOPE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU LOOK DOWN ON ME!" The square that appeared after the nightmare spasmed as the blade made contact with It, and I dropped the knife in pain. I snapped back to the task at hand before my skin could heal over and gripped my tweezers tightly as I slid one side under the square and pressed the other over the square, making sure I had a firm grip on it. Once I was sure 100% that I had it in the tweezers I pulled up with all my strength and bit my mouth piece extremely hard. The back of my mind noted that I was surprised my teeth didn't BREAK from how hard I was biting down. My teeth release, not able to contain the pain anymore and with them a scream that had been building that I couldn't contain any longer. "JEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The pain was something that can not be explained lightly. The feeling of an extremely sharp blamed going into your flesh while it feels all your inside of your foot are being ripped apart. "Teagan, are you okay sweetie?" "Yep, great dad." I say threw newly clenched teeth. "Just practicing my screamo!" His footsteps fade and I look down and see the skin closing. I continue to fight and wedge my knife under the green/blue square. I see the knife wedged under the square and pull up slightly. Past the pain and under the knife I see the millions of electronic veins seeping and choking my own veins that ran throughout my entire body. Before I can look away from the horror of it the square snaps back down and I'm forced to take the knife out. It flings down right into my other leg, slicing a 5 inch gash into it. "AHHHHHH!" I yell again. "TEAGAN!" I see the doorknob wiggle. "NO DAD DON'T COME IN!" I limp over and put all my force into the door. "I'm fine dad, promise." "One more time and I'm coming in Teagan, rather you say your practicing screamo or not." His footsteps once again and I fall down at the base of the door. I cry for a second before becoming inraged with the whole scene. I limp, once again, back to my bed and grab the knife and fling it at the wall were it stabs a picture of my mother. "Ahhhhhggg! I hate you!" I slide down on the floor and fling my head back to lie on top of my bed. Dad must have realized this scream wasn't one of pain and didn't come back. I find my razor and vigorously slash my arm until I feel it hit a vein and my whole arm goes numb. The tears come in waterfalls now, and I don't even try to stop them. Dropping the blade I wrap my arms around my now spotless legs and rock back and forth. My arm stings a little, but I know the only signs of abuse is the gush of blood pouring of me coming from no where.

When I woke up I was curled in a ball still clenching the mouth piece and the bloody towel was underneath me. I spit the mouth piece out, which hits my Ipod, and scratch my head. My hair, I can feel, is covered in dry blood that could pass for icing for the amount that was in my hair. "Love is dead, love is gone, love don't live here anymore." Kerli sang to me from my Ipod. "You got that right." I say my voice filled with sleep. I stand up and feel the razor I left on the ground bury it's way into my foot. "Son of a b!tch!" I say grabbing my foot and hopping up and down. Grabbing the razor I pull it out and wrap the towel around my foot so that blood doesn't leak into the carpet. I put away the things from last night to cover up the scene and make my way to the bathroom to get in the shower. Dumping the towel in the shower I look in the mirror to see my purple eyes and dried blood covering hair that looked like Taz from Looney Tunes came while I was sleeping and teased my hair. "My heart was broken, no possible way for my soul to heal, I was in love with a girl, and I couldn't deface my skin. I was a freak. I turned the shower on hot and hoped in to try and get all the blood off. My body showed absolutely no sign of slashing and I sunk lower into the sad lonely hole I dug myself into. Everything was so heavy now and I dragged myself out of the shower to blow dry my hair. I began to straighten my hair and a new song came on. "Ah Muse, one of my many saviors." I say as his voice fills the room. "Your song fits my scenario perfectly!" I yell as I start jumping around singing into my straightner. "I can't get these memories out of my mind!" I could hear my mom pounding on my door. To be honest with myself, I didn't car if she was angered with me. I stop jumping to be generous today, continuing to sing and fix my hair. Muse and my own voices fill the air with lyrics that go straight to the core of a wounded soul such as my own, causing all the painful memories to surface. "I tried so hard to let you go," The stupid memories surface to the front of my mind and I see us together.

Sitting on his floor in front of his dad's hand-me-down TV playing retro videad games ti'll 2 in the morning.
Singing, even though I had stage fright, while he played his piano.

"But some kind of Madness is swallowing me whole."
Hugs became rare, while my phone no longer sang his ring tone , I gained weight eating lunch alone, Ending with him leaving completely so that I was left with a broken heart, One half filled with death the other still filled with love for a boy who left me.
"I look back at all those crazy fights we had." My eyes narrowed as I thought of all the bull crap he threw at me causing me to actually yell at him. I hated him, actually HATED him and I wanted him to BURN. "You don't know the pain you caused,'B'!" I screamed over the music, Then I pressed my lips together ashamed of having said the b word. I don't like the word, it was mean, so I stood there quietly to make sure no one heard me. Everything was quit ,except for the extremely loud voice of Muse filling the whole room so that the walls shook, so I took the time to glance at the clock. "I ONLY HAVE 20 MINUTES TI'LL SCHOOL STARTS!?!?" I started running around trying to catch up to the lost time due to the unplanned shower. Running over to my closet, I don't even look as I grab a shirt, and throw on bright neon shorts, which I hope match. I zip over to my dresser to flip my green beanie on, as I do everyday, and carefully slid my blue Adidas on and make sure they don't snag on my fishnets before I grab my bag and slide down the banister on the stairs to get to the front door in a record of 10 minutes. 'No time for breakfast.' I think to myself as I pull my key out lock the door and hop into my precious car.



My car squeezed into the last parking space and I carefully get out to make sure my beautiful blue paint doesn't get scratched on my blue cube. Patting my car, I grab my bag, hit the lock button and run into the school to find the first Vendy in my sight. Not even stopping, I pull out the 75 cents, push it into the machine and push D6. I barely see the chips fall down as I grab them and run in with two minutes left ti'll the bell rings. "Leaving it kind of tight aren't we Miss. Asher?" I really disliked this teacher. "Yeah, sure, sorry." I sit down and because of this morning's rerun of memories I was so ecstatic to sit next to Riley. I was ready to admit it, I loved her and I was gonna tell her that. Just not in home room. I crack open the bag of delicious cool ranch Dorritos and hear the voice start to speak quietly so no one hears us talking. "I see you have my favorite chips, care to give me one?" I fight the urge to squeal for the fact we like the same chips and that her voice seemed to sparkle extra when she spoke to me. Why had I never noticed that before? "NO, Women I didn't have breakfast why would I give you some of my favorite chips?" I meet her eyes and she held mine. Again I locked my mind feeling slight pressure against my skull. What was that? Her eyes look so serious, and, beautiful that I caught myself holding out the bag and saying "Sure, go ahead and take a few." The words I wanted to say but didn't want to right now. I had a feeling there was something more to it then me just changing my mind on what I wanted to say.
She seems confused for a brief second about something then takes only one, crunches it really loud, then turns to her hand and starts drawing with rainbow sharpies. "Thank you, sorry you missed breakfast hon, by the way Your tights are to die for." My heart just opened up and made room for someone I never expected to enter, I was falling in love with a girl, a girl who called me hon, a girl who loved my clothes, A girl.

[Before chapter 8 begins I realize you readers have no idea what these two lovely ladies look like! so Im here to solve the problem!]



I was still waiting when the hallway was completely, waiting for the swish of orange hair, waiting for black chucks to squeak on the school floor, waiting to see the most gorgeous face on the planet when I heard the squeak and saw the flash of orange. She had gotten my note that I had slipped into her page in first. It was lunch so the hall was completely deserted, not even the gossiping Janitor could be found. When she came within reach I snatch her arm and swung her around so she was against a locker and I pressed my lips to hers. I'm still not sure were the courage came from, maybe it was more of a need then I want. I loved her and I had to kiss her, so I did. She fought at first but once she saw It was me, Riley's soft lips kissed my awkward ones back. Her hand grabbed the back of my head and a flash of rainbow color bounced off of it. The hand she drew on in first. I placed my hand on her low back so that she was closer to me. "Hey break up girls, if you do it now I won't say a peep." The Janitor! I grabbed her hand and ran. "Don't let him see your face!" I yell. "Why not?" Her voice sounded even better when she was laughing. "He is worse then old ladies in a hair salon, he'll tell the whole school!" I screamed laughing as well. 'It's her.' I realize. I was running in the halls, having just gotten caught kissing a girl and I was laughing. I was truly happy because of her. I stopped, spun around and kissed her again not even caring if the janitor followed us and got a glimpse of our faces. I felt her perfect lips smash into mine and she was kissing me back. Her hand went to the back of my hair again and my hand on her hip. We were falling and we couldn't stop. Then we weren't and I realized she had backed us up against a wall to prevent the fall. "Your so perfect." I said at a brief break away. "Don't stop kissing me" She said moving her face closer to mine and picked up the kiss. I moved my head back a second time which inside pained me and I felt her look down at me in sadness."Wait, we have to go to lunch." I say when the realization hit me. She placed her head on my shoulder and I heard her say, "I suppose hon, we probably should talk about ya know." She lifted her head and moved her finger between the two of us. I grabbed her hand and started walking. "Best start talking now, cause there's a lot of words yet to be spoken."

"So can I come over tonight?" We had just sat down at our table, me with a simple salad and her holding a pint of ice cream, a piece of pizza and apple juice, and we had not even begun to talk with only 5 minutes of lunch left. I took a second to debate, pretending like I DIDN'T want her to come with a little smile dancing on my lips for the first time in a while. "Why would you want to do that?" I asked moving the smile to her face. "Well because we only have 4 minutes of lunch left, we haven't discussing anything and I want to see you more!" She smiled about the last part at me and leaned over to kiss me. I smiled wiggling a finger in a teased gesture. "Not in front of the children." I said using my eyes to point to some band geeks staring. She nodded smiling and playing a lot. It was easy to see that we both WANTED to have kissed right then and there though. To add to that until I can come out of the closet I didn't want to kiss her in PUBLIC. "So tonight?" "Yeah just come with me after school." I say. The whole lunch room filled out in a heartbeat, at least I think it was a heartbeat. I couldn't be sure cause when Riley kissed me my heart missed a beat. I felt her pull away when I leaned forward and she ran her hand down my arm allowing her fingers to dance on mine before dancing away while she looked back at me smiling. "Good cause I have answers for you that I'm sure will answer some questions you have."

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