The Darkest Secret | Teen Ink

The Darkest Secret

December 1, 2011
By Tbug1997 PLATINUM, Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania
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Tbug1997 PLATINUM, Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania
29 articles 1 photo 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
When in doubt... Blame it on your siblings
when life gives you skittles throw them at random people and yell FEEL THE RAINBOW


Author's note: I wrote this because i had very vivid dreams about the characters and i wanted them to come alive in my own words

“MOM!” I yell “I’m going to be late for my first day of school” I run upstairs to see my mom sleeping I tell her to get dressed. I would fly but I’m not old enough yet till I can fly on my own. So I guess I’m going to have to deal with my mom driving me to school. When I walk in the doors of school I pull out my paper that tells me where to go. Everything went great got easy classes for me at least and some cool teachers. Only thing there was a guy in all my classes his name was Damon. He had hazel eyes, dark brown hair, muscular, and seemed like a good guy. So I talked to him a little and we very soon became friends. He introduced me to his sister Rosie she had light brown hair down to her shoulders, ice blue eyes, always wore tank tops, shorts, knee high socks, and sneakers. Since we all were in the same grade we passed notes in class, sat with each other at lunch, and hung out at each other’s houses. One day I was talking to Rosie and she asked “Are you and Damon going out?” “Of course not I would like to though but I don’t want it to ruin our friendship”

The next day I was walking home alone and I walked in the door of my house and mom greeted me and asked the normal question but she brought up Damon “Are you and Damon going out” she asked me “No!” I said a little too fast “Oh good because I don’t want you hanging around vampires” I look at her in shock the it turns to pure anger. “YOU JUST DON’T WANT ME TO GO OUT WITH HIM!!” I yelled at her she. She look at me confused “No honey i just don’t want you hanging around vampires” she said trying to calm me down “what do you mean vampires I think Damon and Rosie would have told me if they were vampires” I said with a bitter tone in my voice. I couldn’t stand to talk about this anymore. I ran out the door to Damon’s house. I knocked on the door he opens it calmly and looks at me to see tears streaming down my cheeks. “Willow what’s wrong did someone hurt you?” he asked bringing me in his arms his muscles against my body rocking me “No one hurt me” I said in a raspy voice “good then what happened who upset you” he asked as im still wrapped in his embrace. “My mom said you were a vampire” I said he let me go and looked at me with sadness in his hazel eyes “It’s true, I am a vampire” he said “but listen Willow I couldn’t tell you I didn’t want to lose you” he says in a voice like silk I look at him and tears build up in my eyes “How could you lie to me!” I yell then Rosie comes out “she found out didn’t she” “yes I did and why didn’t you guys just tell me” I said “We couldn’t lose you” Damon says. Then Damon and Rosie’s dad comes out or better known as the vampire king. I looked at Damon then Rosie and head for the door “Willow wait” I hear Damon yell but to late in already walking out the door.

Through out the school day I kept thinking Damon a vampire prince and Rosie a vampire princess. When the day was over Damon came up from behind me “Willow please I’m sorry I didn’t want to lie to you” he says. “really than why did you lie” I snapped “ I knew you would never want to be with a vampire” he says softly. “ I just couldn’t lose you I… I love you Willow” I look at him and a big smile comes across my face “ You never had to lie to me I would of loved you no matter what you were” I say he wraps his arms around me and kisses me I hear Rosie “ I see were all good again” I pull away and smile at her “well you two seem a little more than good” she says. Then all the way home I’m walking next to Damon just in pure happiness. Damon ended up coming over to my house to study but that’s all we did my mom had her eyes on us the whole time. She’s not too happy about me dating a vampire.

In school the next day we got to go on a field trip to the human world. We got to go through a day there school there wasn’t much different from my school but anyway me and Damon and Rosie tried to stay by each other’s sides. I met a boy in school named Jasper. He was a really cool a little shy but mostly a really cool guy. He had the brightest blue eyes, black hair, almost as tall as Damon, wore graphic tees and light blue jeans. Damon didn’t like Jasper when Damon tried to get closer to me or kiss me Jasper seemed to pop up between us. But basically Damon didn’t like the human world at all. Rosie got a boyfriend which would have been fine if she hadn’t turned him into a vampire. Damon was not happy about that but Rosie didn’t care. I hear a voice from behind me calling my name it was Jasper “ hey Willow do you want to walk home together?” but before I could say anything “ Sorry Jasper she can’t walk home with you today” Damon says with an edge to his voice “well I think I asked Willow not you” Jasper sounded a little mad “I’m sorry Jasper I can’t today maybe some other time” I said. He was willing to fight but I know he wouldn’t last. He looks at me and smiles then looks at Damon and walks away I hear him mumble something angrily under his breath.

We got back home and Damon whispers to me “Willow I don’t thing you should go back Jasper is not good news” I looked at Damon and laughed “ Damon listen I think I could take care of myself” “ I don’t like Jasper “ he says but I ignore him. “fine I wont go back” I said but the next morning I called myself off of school and took a trip through the Portal the thing that connects the human and our world together. I run to the school doors and hear Jasper’s voice behind me when I enter the building “ Hey Willow where’s Damon and Rosie?” “ummmm they got sick” I said he tried to hid the smile on his face “oh to bad can you walk home with me then today” “sure” I said as we enter our first class. The day went fast but I knew I would be in trouble when I got home. I walked home with jasper he asked if I wanted to come in but I said no. then he said o and walked inside his house and shut the door then I went home to find Damon waiting for me with an angry look on his face








“Why are you so mad” I asked Damon “you are not going back to the human world Jasper likes you too much and you aren’t realizing it I’m not letting you go without me.” “Damon stay here Jasper is fine he won’t do anything to me” I explain calmly “ I don’t want you going back without me” “ok” I said but I wasn’t going to listen I went back at midnight it was 7:00 A.M. there so that meant 30 minutes to run to school. Hopefully Damon won’t notice I’m gone.

“hi Willow” jasper said cheerfully “Hey Jasper” “is Damon sick again” “yeah he isn’t feeling any better” “that’s to bad” “yeah but you think I could come over to your house” I asked he smiles at me “sure that would be great” I smile at him “awesome” I start to walk to class “ummmm Willow” I turn around “Yeah” “how about we skip and I could show you around town” “sure” so we skipped and Jasper took me on a ride around town. Jasper kept asking about Damon and I and if I was dating him I told him yes he looked a little disappointed but we switched the subject and had a fun time. I don’t know how but we ended up in his house doing homework, My cell phone rang it was Damon. “Where are you” he asked “I’m ummmm at home” “I just was at your house your mom said you weren’t there” then in the background Jasper yells “Willow do you want anything” “no thanks” I yelled back. “Willow I told you not to go to the human world without me” then I hear Jasper yell in the background “Willow wanna head upstairs we can study on my bed” “Willow don’t you dare go up there” he started yelling at me but I didn’t want to deal with it now so I hung up. “sure lets head upstairs” I say putting my phone in my bag we walked up the stairs and Jasper opened his door and I saw his room is was dark blue walls, wooden desk, king sized bed up against the wall, tan carpet his room was huge we sat on the bed and study for a while. We got bored of studying so we started to talk “Well what are your parents like” he asked “well I don’t know my dad but my mom is great she is a little protective though what about yours” “well my mom and dad are strict but they really want what’s best for me” he rolled his pale blue eyes “Willow” “yes” “have you ever thought about meeting your dad?” I looked at Jasper “yeah but I don’t think I will ever meet him” I looked down at the floor then I looked up at Jasper he put his hand on my shoulder and hugs me I pull back “sorry but I have to go” I said “oh ok do you want me to drive you home?” “NO!” I said a little too fast “I insist” “Jasper you can’t drive me home because… ummmm” I had to tell him the truth “you can’t drive me home because I’m a fey and Damon’s a vampire so is Rosie fey and Vampires aren’t allowed to even be near mortals” I said Jasper started to laugh as if I was crazy “I’m serious” I yelled then he look at me and tried not to stare at me like I’m crazy “ok well Willow if you truly are a fey then prove it” “HOW!” “let me see your wings or fly or something” I couldn’t fly I would break the rules and mortals can’t see my wings “ok” then my wing gracefully came out Jasper’s mouth dropped. He dropped on the bed in shock. I had no choice but to call Damon. Oh he is gonna be so mad. I call him “hey Damon can you come over to my house and hurry please” “Sure but why?” “Don’t question it just do it” I said then hung up. Damon came over faster than I would have expected. He took one look and he saw my wings out and Jasper pasted out on my bed “WILLOW BLACK RIDGE WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO!” he yelled but I think he already knew “well I kind of… ummmmmm told jasper what we were” I look down regretting what I did. “Well what do you want me to do?” “I was hoping you would help me get him back to the human world and help me explain everything when he wakes up” I said nervously. He picked up Jasper without a problem and stuffed him in the backseat of his car “be careful” I snapped Damon didn’t answer he just got in the driver side “come on hop in” he mumbled I did “you’re lucky I love you” he said “I love you” I said forcing a smile



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This book has 6 comments.


on Dec. 9 2011 at 8:55 pm
whateverjuliet BRONZE, Miami, Florida
3 articles 3 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
true love never dies,it only gets stronger with time.

sae as thalialisset, shoulda made it longer...but becuase it was so good and i would have wanted to read more of this amazing story!!!

on Dec. 9 2011 at 8:34 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Okay, I have a bit of criticism.

1.  Slow down!  You have a good idea here, but you really need to slow down the pacing.  Take time to describe things, to add a bit of internal monologue.

2.  Describe!  I want to know more about your characters. Describe what they look like, their habits, their personalities.

3.  Dialogue goes on a separate line, especially when someone new is talking.

4.  The internet is your friend.  I think it would be a good idea if you used it to learn the basics of grammar.  Learn how to use commas, when to capitalize, etc.

I know my critique is harsh, but that's only because I really think you have potential here.  A little hard work and you'll be one heck of a writer.  Keep writing! :)


on Dec. 9 2011 at 8:30 pm
thalialisset SILVER, Jamaica, New York
8 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't Judge Its Book By It's Cover

luvvv it again.....lol

 


on Dec. 9 2011 at 8:12 pm
thalialisset SILVER, Jamaica, New York
8 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't Judge Its Book By It's Cover

very nice written...love it....but i  think  yuhh shudd make it longer....but other than  that  i  loved itt!!!!!:)

 


on Dec. 7 2011 at 5:13 pm
Musawwir21 SILVER, Toledo, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

To be honest i felt it was a little rushed . More like a short story less of a book. It was a good plot i liked where it was going the climax and all that but damons relastionship with the main caracter was rushed into take your time this will be an excellent story . IF you just SLOW down i love everything about it . it is grasphing it kept my attention . This is MY opioion so please dont get offended . Your a great writer keep it up !

 


Bones96 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 4 2011 at 10:28 pm
Bones96 BRONZE, Charlotte, North Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't about finding yourself it's about creating yourself-

This is good I am intreseted in finding out what you do with the story. 

Good Job! :)