Morphnior

November 4, 2011
By PaigeSmith SILVER, Hemet, California
PaigeSmith SILVER, Hemet, California
9 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
A writer is only as good as their true life experiences.


Summary:

Liz is entering her later teens. At 17 she finally gains entrance to the hottest, most exclusive night club in town. Morphnior is more than over-whelming to Liz. The enchanting dancers, the mysterious Crystal, the incredible James, and the blueberry punch obsessive Aaron. Liz is suddenly dragged into the strange world of the club and finds herself spending endless nights inside racing for the attention from James. Will she ever get want she wants? Or will the club have it's own course for her.


Paige S.

Morphnior


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This book has 6 comments.


on Jan. 20 2014 at 8:49 pm
MissyStokes BRONZE, VIENNA, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
Fear is like happiness but the smile is wider

trilogy/ Is this the first?

on Jun. 7 2013 at 3:16 pm
SilverLuna SILVER, _________, Washington
8 articles 0 photos 230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Come fairies take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.".... W.B. Yeats.
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Okay, so I like the story you're writing, it reminds me vaguely of The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare--except, there was a coehesive story there. I feel like I'm missing pieces and I WANT TO KNOW THOSE PIECES. We leave Liz's home town, and feel no attachment for it. You have those characters, get us interested in Kasey, and then we abandon him for the majority of the story--I want to know THAT history, because it will draw my into Liz's story. Aaron is introduced, I WANT TO KNOW HIM, not just what he looks like. I like your story, I love the details, like the blueberry punch. I want more of THOSE things, because those are the things that initially drew me in. Keep those up so that readers stay interested. Here are the major questions I need answered for this story to seem coehesive: 1) Did she move to NYC? If so, why are her parents involved so little? If her parents aren't going to be involved have a reason or make her older. Easy fixes. 2) How did LIz and Aaron become friends? How did LIz meet James? WTF is up with James? Who is Crystal REALLY? What kind of relationship do Aaron and Crystal have? Answering these question will add interest and bulk up your story. It will keep your readers INVOLVED with your characters. 3) What are you trying to make me want? Here's the thing about great books: they make you want something. Sometimes they make you want someone. That's why we go insane over love stories and mysteries. Give me a taste of that and tease the reader, and then let them have that satisfying reveal. Whether is the answer to a question or the perfect love confession, something has to HAPPEN. Whew! Okay, those are the things that I think can make your story GREAT, because you already have a GOOD foundation. Keep writing!

on Jan. 18 2012 at 8:05 pm
PaigeSmith SILVER, Hemet, California
9 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
A writer is only as good as their true life experiences.

There was actually some problems with Blueberry Punch, so expect that to actually be delayed until next month. Sorry!

on Dec. 23 2011 at 12:14 am
PaigeSmith SILVER, Hemet, California
9 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
A writer is only as good as their true life experiences.

If you liked this book, the second book of the Morphnior trilogy (Blueberry Punch) should be posted by mid January!

on Dec. 23 2011 at 12:12 am
PaigeSmith SILVER, Hemet, California
9 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
A writer is only as good as their true life experiences.

Blueberry Punch is going to start being posted soon, most likely starting next week! It will be Aaron's side of the story, which will tie into the final novel of this trilogy :)

on Nov. 28 2011 at 7:22 pm
Mermaidmissy SILVER, Las Vegas, Nevada
8 articles 0 photos 136 comments
Wow, your story was really good. And I hope you keep on writng some more poems soon. Can you please take a look at some of my poems and book please, Thank You!! :)


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