If i wanted... | Teen Ink

If i wanted...

March 16, 2011
By ThisIsRivera SILVER, orchardlake, Michigan
More by this author
ThisIsRivera SILVER, Orchardlake, Michigan
6 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."


Author's note: The begining of the book is a little boring but bear with me it gets better and i also want to add this in bc alot of my book is focased on MIFA which is a competetive acting company for highschool students, its like an after school activity and heres a full description of what it is so no one is confused and it is told from Hunters point of view: What is MIFA you ask? Well in short it is a competetive theatre company. Most schools that are serious about drama have one. So you see it is extremely hard to get into only the best of the best are put into the company. Once in MIFA you are looked at as the cream of the crop in the drama world and trust me it's hard not to get cocky. So you pick a show and you basicly perpare it in 2 months. That means tech and acting. Two different kinds of people are put into the company. Actors and Techie's. If your and actor in MIFA you can sure as hell act and perform, and if you are a techie let's just say you know what you want the set and show to look like and you sure as hell know how to execute that. The show can't be any longer than exactly 45 minutes and if it goes over, well lets just say you can forget about winning. You also get omething called "the 25" before the show which is 25 minutes to set up and spike you entire stage. Go over the 25 well you might as well not even perform. And now for the competition. Districts Schools from aroundyour district come to compete. They have been preparing just as long as you have and want it just as bad as you want it. But if you are really good like we always are winning districts is a no brainer. And at the award ceremony if you arent getting superiors, somethign needs to change. Mark my director won't have excellents, he just won't. Regionals Regionals can be a bit scarier because you beat the loosers at districts now regionals there can still be loosers but alot of the time there are winners just like you. Everything is applified the presure and the compettion so there's absolutley no messing around. Regionals is a bit harder to win. Lets just say you don't care if you come in second because that means states. Where you get in third and your done. Your just finished and everything you've worked for is pulled up from under you and thrown i your face. Yeah its pretty brutal. But on the contrary lets say you win. Now you are feeling a bit cocky and ready to take on anything but god are you wrong. States States is different from everything. It's no longer fun it's stressful. Winning is no longer a goal it's a life ---------------. As soon as the 25 starts your not waling your running. Your no longer screaming like at regionals, your speaking in hushed violent words and giving people looks that they should understand or their head might get vut off. Soon its not even about the show its about doing everything right. Like a formula. And the show not only goes smoothly but it is by far the best you have ever performed it. Judges So the judges can be unfair and cruel but theres nothing you can really do. We have had the chance of getting delt quite the unfair biased and overall unfit judges but we still go to compete with a new show every year. Theres the critic where the judges well they critic you and then theres the awards where they basicly give you awards onn what they think you deserve. Sounds great right, WRONG! If a school getting an awrd like simplicity of set your gonna get pissed if all you get is an execllent award!

The author's comments:
i might go back and either add detail or fix my wording but im too lazy right now :)

"So why do you want to be in MIFA?" Jonathon to my right said. He sat there with a serious face that i assume mirrored my expression. It was funny seeing Jonathon act this way considering he's always smiling and laughing at his own jokes. Okay that's not fair he is probably the funniest person i know but he knows it. So you can understand why it’s troubling me not to laugh right now. "Um..." Annabel a freshmen I recently met sits there fidgeting and sweating. I remembered being in her shoes 2 years ago searching my mind for those answers i practices for hours the night before. “I want to be in the company because my sister, and my brother were both in it and talked of how it was such an experience and how you feel so good about being associated with it." she was coming back to normal as she spoke about it. She knows about it. Information. “Ever since I got into high school there's nothing else i have waited for but to be here in this seat explaining to you guys about how badly i wanted to be in the company, how long I’ve waited to get the vest, wear it with pride and show my brother and sister i could do it." she said now breathing slightly heavier. Passion. "What will you bring to the company," I asked. I said this in a perfect professional voice even though she was doing extremely well. I looked like a first class pro up there. You wouldn’t believe how professional. "Well as you know i am a techie-" "What is a 'techie' to you?" Jonathon interrupted. "Well it is a person that does behind the scenes work, everything to make the actor look good." she said. "No," i said "What?" "Dig deeper," I said. I knew i was being a pain in the ass but i needed her to try. I knew Jonathon wasn't satisfied with that answer and i surely didn’t want it to be her downfall. ".....It's, it means that you are discipline, dedicated and passionate about what you do and you not only have the skill but the pride in your work that will lead to a successful show. We don't always get recognized but we put or full effort into in anyway because that’s what a techie does." she said smiling and out of breath. Jonathon held a slight smile and i knew i had shown him what this girl had. "Thank you for your time results will be posted in 2 days" i say putting my folder and clipboard away. "That's it, that's all?" she asked surprised. "That's all," Jonathon said doing the same. "Okay, thank you so much guys it’s been a privilege." she said quickly getting up and out of the door. "I liked her," Mark said from the back of the room. He let us lead the auditions but he ultimately gets the final say. "Told you mine was a winner Jon," I bragged. "Yeah she was good but good enough doubt it." He said smirking. "Shut up she was the best today, well out of the freshman." I said knowing he was only kidding. "Fine Dean, she was good." he said giving up. Satisfied i gave Mark my recommendations and left to my car. It was dark when i went outside. I had spent 6 hours auditioning people. It's funny how nervous people get during those auditions. I remember when i was a freshman after seeing the results. I couldn’t wait to find out if i made it. Only 4 freshmen get in a year, it’s quite competitive and i have to admit i was surprised. I headed my way to work late today. I unfortunately work on Saturdays along with my friend Jen at the local swirlberry. I pulled in 2 hours late and ran in with half of my uniform off. "Oh thank god i have been swamped doing both of our positions!" she said as she handed her last frozen tarts to her lasting costumers. "Sorry the auditions lasted longer than expected." I said getting behind the counter. "It’s okay I’m just glad people are recognizing the fact we have a MIFA program at this school. It's funny how like hardly anyone at the school knows about it I mean we are gods in the theatre world we freaking won States the past 7 years like got first place!" she said in a huff as she held up her finger at the last part. This is true all the people at our school that feel so highly of themselves wouldn’t bring themselves to even look at drama kids until my sophomore year when there was a full on “cool kids” invasion into the drama program. Before I sound too hypocritical I am dating a guy that was a part of this invasion but I swear he’s different from all his cocky bi**hy tooly annoying fake friends. Dating is a loose term. Just let me stop beating around the bush. My boyfriend of 3 years is one of those popular guys you see in the movies. The only thing about Zack is that he is funny, he can be harsh but he’s not a d**che. He is a smart-ass but not a jerk. He’s a little cocky but not a tool; you get what I’m getting at right? Out of all the annoying d**ches at my school us “less superior people(according to them)” like him the most. I would hate to be the girlfriend that tell the whole love story but it is pretty cute. So here I go. So On the first day of sophomore year I got partnered with Zach in chemistry, you see then we’d known each other and were cordial but never in a million years showed any type of affection. Zack Is extremely opinionated and we constantly fought, but the weird thing is that, that is what started making me like him. I liked that he was so passionate about everything even though sometimes it would annoy me to my core. I guess that’s when we started talking a bit, after he asked me for my umber and we texted some. Soon I started to fall for him but because of my extreme low self-confidence at the time I didn’t dare express these feelings. But the good thing is, I didn’t have to. Zack asked me out and after that we started dating and we’ve been together ever since. It’s hard to describe me and Zack’s relationship. I mean we aren’t that lovey dovey couple that irritates the hell out of you and were not that couple that are afraid to hold hands. It’s like we have an understanding. People say they can swear we have telepathy the way we always know how the other is feeling. We could sit next to each other for an hour without speaking and barely toughing and feel more loved than we ever have before. Yes I know you caught that, I used the L word. I’m not afraid of it anymore. I did used to be though, it took me a year after Zack told me he loved me to say it back and still I don’t trust getting intimate. But Zack doesn’t mind I guess that’s why I love him so much. I can’t really imagine being with anyone but him, like ever. “Hey! How’d they go,” Jenna said now waving her hands across my face. “Oh, they went okay I guess, I mean the tech interviews were better than the actors acting auditions and interviews.” I said sapping out of it. “Oh doubt it, you’re just biased because you’re a techie you wouldn’t imagine how hard it is to be an actor, we just make it look so easy.” She said flipping her blonde hair and pursing her lips. “Oh do you now,” I said laughing. “It’s true we are flawless on stage so of course its easy to spot a bad actor,” she said like I should know this. “And it’s not hard to spot a bad techie?” I turned and cocked my eyebrow. “Well…I mean whose bad at drilling?” “Are you kidding are you down grading my skill,” I said with a fake shocked impression. “Oh shut up and scoop the tart,” she said laughing at me. Later that night I fell onto my bed, hard, making it collapse as usual. I decided I didn’t care and I went to sleep anyway.

I guess you could say I have quite a bit going for me. I got early acceptance into U of M. Full scholarship of course. I am company manager of MIFA and I am stage manager for every school production. I’m hired as a techie (it’s amazing) which means I’m getting paid to do all the things all the other techies do for free. I would not say I’m very attractive but Zack always yells at me when I say that so I guess I will leave it at that. My family and boyfriend are amazing as are my friends, I mean I don’t know what to say not that life is perfect but it’s all good. It can only get better from here right? “No, I have no idea…” Zack said spinning in the computer chair. “What about Ana?” “I guess,” “Why aren’t you interested in this?” I asked setting the flat iron down. “Because I don’t care who would make a great model,” he said rolling his eyes. “Um, this is kinda a big deal for me, I’ve gotta find someone who is absolutely exquisite and can pull off, shy but confident, edgy but innocent, and I don’t know someone who’s free of the pains and hardships of reality.” “You done?” he said getting up. “Are you going to be mad at me forever? I can’t deal with your cold shoulder.” I spoke walking over to him. “I specifically told you not to recommend Danny but you did, I’m going to be mad forever.” He said smiling at the last part. I knew this was my moment to get my forgiveness. I sat on his lap careful not to slide of the chair. “He’s a sophomore you know I wouldn’t, ever” I reassured him, ”you know I never caught you to be Jealous mister Izaer.” I said playfully. “I’m not but when a guy threatens he’s gonna get your girl drunk and f her you get pretty defensive.” He said defending himself. “Oh please he was kidding about that let it go,” “I know it’s still annoying though, and it’s not just that I mean the kid’s a fag,” “Hey!” I said slapping his arm “Fine, he’s…..stupid” “Better,” he kissed me softly, the kind of kiss he knows I like, the kind that make me tingle. Tingle is a lame adjective but honestly there’s no better way of describing what happens. It’s funny I always say how much I hate those couples that still have a crush on each other, and they get all nervous and giggly when each other is around but to be honest sometimes I wish I felt nervous around Zack. I mean we’ve gotten so in tune that I don’t even need to tell Zack anything because he already knows and if he doesn’t I find no problem in letting out my hearts content. I just feel really vulnerable sometimes and sometimes I don’t know if I like that too much. Well I do love him which means I should trust him fully, and i mean I do, I totally do, totally and completely it’s just sometimes I wonder if this relationship is as strong as how I beieve it to be. “Wait,” gasping for air I pulled back. “My mom will be home soon and we promised to make dinner.” “Oh yeah, what are we making.” He said putting his hands through his hair. “Spaghetti,” “Sounds easy enough,” “Oh you’ll see,” **** “I mean I just don’t get it I mean damnit I’m the best in this whole damn school,” Vienna Rush screamed at me. “This is why your names not up there.” I whispered just to show her how much yelling was embarrassing her. “And congrats Annabel!” I called to my little freshmen. “Thanks so much!” she said rushing to her fellow 4 year’s (MIFA term for current or former 4 year mifa members) I felt proud I mus admit she was my protégé after all. “You know what I’m done with you and your stupid little company I hate all of you and if you think you will ever be graced with my talent again your wrong! You know what you’re just jealous of me. The only reason you’re so famous and to the ceiling at this stupid little school is because of your stupid little boyfriend, as soon as he dumps your ass you’ll be on the floor where you belong! And I’ll be shining my whole life long! Because I am the best I’m f*ing amazing and I will always be, and you are jealous because you will always be behind the scenes while I rock my audience world on the stage!” she again screamed, I guess not getting my hint, and she smirked at me satisfied. “Okay, if that’s how you feel,” I said clasping my hands. She frowned. “And um, get of your high horse and grab that stick from in your ass because if you wanna get anywhere in the theatre world you gotta go through the ‘hunt’!” Jenna said from behind me, god I love that girl. “Well you can just- ” she stopped herself, swayed for a bit, then ran off in a fit of sobs. “Why must the greats be so damn cocky,” I said “it’s a bloody shame,” “I’m not cocky!” Jenna whined with her lips pursed. “Well you are assuming you’re great I mean who said you were great,” I said looking away slightly. “Oh shut it, that’s contradicting yourself by saying I’m cocky means I’m great but now your sayingi’m not great so zero for you 1 for me.” She said all matter of factly. “Sure, whatever you say Jenna,” “Are you being sarcastic because till this day I still may never know if those sly comments are secretive jabs at my talent or intelligence.” “Well I guess you’ll just have to guess,” I spotted Tabitha before she even called my name I knew it was coming, I actually considered ducking underneath the water fountain but the gun beneath it made me think twice. Before I could try beneath the stairs,”Hunter, MY GIRL!!!!” the rubber squeak of those new hunter boots mad a rhythm with the tiffany around her wrist. “Where have you been in my life? We need to make plans, like right now,” “Because there’s totally another time to make them,” I said under my breath. “What was that?” she said her head cocked to the side and lips shaped in a perfect pout. “Oh I just said I know it’s been forever!” I said putting on the charm. “Yes, yes, yes you and little Zacky gotta make your way to my party this Saturday night,” she said eyes bugged out. “I’m so sorry Tabitha I’m going to get a body massage by Jacque with Jenna here! Maybe I can reschedule it though!” I said linking my arm in Jenna’s and making a pout face. “Oh my, I would never ask anyone to reschedule with Jacque! You guys have just gotta come to my next one,” “Oh I’m so glad you understand! Thanks Tabs you are the best! “I said giving her hug and quickly walking away. “How are you so good with people I mean you always know exactly what to say?” Jenna said. “It’s a gift,” “Sucks were not actually getting Jacque massages,” “I know that’s the only downfall to my tricky little lies, I always get jealous of my excuses.” Here we go again, Sophie with boyfriend Tom and ex-boyfriend Jack who she can’t seem to shake, searching in the hallway, “Hunter! Hey so I saw you talking to b Tabitha, you’re not going to her party, tell me you’re not going!” she said flipping her hair at each syllable and slightly angling her chest toward Jack. Yes you heard right, Jack, the poor kid. “Oh of course not,” “Good well I’m having a little Jacuzzi party, maybe a bit of skinny dipping, are you Zack game?” she said whispering. “Oh god that sounds like too much fun (insert laugh) but you know Zack it’s our honeymoon Saturday night and he rented a motel room for the night, if you know what I mean.” I said inking. “Oh you go ahead and get some girl I heard Zack is a little restless haha (yes she spoke the words she didn’t actually laugh) I was trying the same thing on Saturday!” she kind of angled her head up a bit right between the guys so I had no idea who she was getting it from. “So glad you understand and gorgeous tiffany!” It was the same one I saw Tabitha wearing but I was not the one to point that out to Sophie. “Thanks its new Ja- I mean Tom bought it!” Tom rolled his eyes as Jack snickered. “And next weekend though right!?” she asked. “Definitely!” I said walking away. I don’t know if this makes me a bad person or if it makes me smart, I don’t know how I have an act for smuggling my way out I mean maybe I should be an actress, I’m a good enough liar. Well I don’t like to call it lying just a bit of pretending.



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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 6 comments.


on Mar. 27 2011 at 11:54 am
ThisIsRivera SILVER, Orchardlake, Michigan
6 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."

haha thanks!!

TheDuck GOLD said...
on Mar. 23 2011 at 5:46 pm
TheDuck GOLD, Braselton, Georgia
11 articles 12 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Raids, bullets, crime... no problem. A missing duster? Crisis."-The Last Sacrifice
"If we stand for nothing, we'll fall for anything." -All Time Low

If they don't, they're stupid.  This is an awesome story!

on Mar. 23 2011 at 4:58 pm
ThisIsRivera SILVER, Orchardlake, Michigan
6 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."

oh okay that makes sense i just didnt want people to tire of it and stop reading

 


TheDuck GOLD said...
on Mar. 23 2011 at 4:10 pm
TheDuck GOLD, Braselton, Georgia
11 articles 12 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Raids, bullets, crime... no problem. A missing duster? Crisis."-The Last Sacrifice
"If we stand for nothing, we'll fall for anything." -All Time Low

You know, I think you should keep it.  It shows how the action progresses.

on Mar. 23 2011 at 4:04 pm
ThisIsRivera SILVER, Orchardlake, Michigan
6 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."

thank you so much that means alot and i no im trying to think of ways to make the begining a bit better any suggestions?

TheDuck GOLD said...
on Mar. 19 2011 at 9:21 pm
TheDuck GOLD, Braselton, Georgia
11 articles 12 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Raids, bullets, crime... no problem. A missing duster? Crisis."-The Last Sacrifice
"If we stand for nothing, we'll fall for anything." -All Time Low

Slow start with a great middle and a satisfying ending.  Beautifully written