No Regrets | Teen Ink

No Regrets

November 7, 2018
By mayahernandez, Boston, Massachusetts
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mayahernandez, Boston, Massachusetts
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Author's note:

I am a sophmore in high school and this piece was inspired by aspects of my own swimming carrer and struggles. I am a competetive swimmer who sometimes thinks that I should try and do something crazy in my teen years, but I also want to cointinue to pursue my passion.

The author's comments:

Hope you enjoy:)

The chlorine rips at her flesh leaving it with a stinging sensation. Suddenly, a cold wind nips at the skin exposed between the rips in her jeans. Halloween isn’t a holiday Elani particularly enjoys. A day where the weather is too cold to actually enjoy, people dress up as things they aren’t, and it’s socially acceptable to take candy from strangers. She stands on the street as she waits for her ride to come. Her sister is late once again and Elani has been waiting for fifteen minutes. She doesn’t worry too much about it because the only thing on her mind is Samuel. This morning at practice he was in the corner lane so she couldn’t swim with him. While she was swimming in the middle lane she could see him from across the pool, splashing his friends. Lanes usually determine someone’s speed, if you're in the middle lanes you’re usually the best, but if you’re swimming in the end lanes you're not the fastest person the pool. Samuel has a collection of dark brown hair on his head that sways with each motion. His eyes are filled in darkness with specks of sparkling brown. Every time he smiles, Elani’s insides melt. A loud screeching sound brings her back to reality. It’s currently 7:01 in the morning as she sees her sister’s signature shiny black Toyota pull up.

“I was running a little late,” Nadia says as she chucks her backpack to the backseat. Nadia and Elani are both seniors, but Nadia is the one that learned how to drive. Elani’s been too busy preparing for her big national meets. She pulls out her phone and checks her event times. She sighs as she sees all the red numbers saying she added time in all her events last week. Her goal of the Olympics seem very far from successful right now. She puts her phone down when her sister looks over at her.

“What now? You don’t have enough attention?” Nadia rolls her eyes, her dark eyelashes so long they reach her eyebrows.

“No Nadia, I’m just a little stressed out right now ok?”

“Huh, I didn’t know the star sister had problems. Just tell mom I’m going to a halloween party tonight.” She pulls into school, parks on the side of the street and unlocks the doors. Elani looks over at her to see absolute aggravation in her eyes. She gets out and closes the door, Nadia then does another eyeroll and pulls off, speeding away from school.

Elani walks into school and sees a couple off to the side gazing into each other’s eyes. They’re matching Mike and Sulley onesies make her want to throw up. She walks by them and sneers. Elani promised herself that when she gets a boyfriend she wouldn’t act like the cliché couples everyone knows. She goes to the front of the school and lays on her favorite bench, pulling out her chocolate milk. At about 7:15 more people pour into the school leaving their infamous scuff marks all over the shiny red floor. Her heart stops when she sees Samuel walking in with his little brother.

“Don’t be a dumbass today okay? I don’t have time to watch you all day.” His little brother scoffs as he takes a sharp left to escape Samuel’s scolding. Elani looks straight forward trying to avoid any possible encounters with him. It’s not like he ever notices her anyway, more like he knows of her.

“Your spilling that,” she hears from an all too familiar voice. She looks up and sees Samuel’s bright eyes looking dead into her soul. She can’t register what’s happening until she sees him look down.

“Your chocolate milk. Your spilling it,” he reaches down and takes the white bottle from her hand before it spills anymore onto the floor. The floor has a little puddle of chocolate milk, but the bottle still has a little less than half inside. He looks at Elani with a confused look but then places the bottle next to her on the bench.

“How was practice for you this morning?” he asks her. Elani sucks in a deep breath and blurts out,

“It was horrible I feel like I’m ready to puke.” She feels her head get dizzy, so she squeezes the side of the bench for balance until her knuckles turn white. She hears someone call Samuel’s name from across the hall and he looks over. They both do a weird head nod but she doesn’t think too much of it.

“Yeah...same here.. Anyway, what are you doing tonight? I’m throwing a Halloween party at my house. A bunch of people from the team will be there. You wanna come?” This must be that once in a lifetime moment God comes down and blesses someone with a rare opportunity.

“In case you need anything just text me.” He says as he types his number into her phone.

He looks at his watch and quickly adds,

“Oh and wear a costume.” He shuffles away and Elani is left there looking dumbfounded. At that moment in time Elani feels the world go completely silent and all she can hear are her own thoughts. What are you doing? There’s practice tonight. No, enjoy your miserable life for once. PLEASE do something fun. No you should-

Elani stands abruptly dropping her phone and knocking over her chocolate milk, spilling it again. The milk bubbles as it pours across the floor once more. She watches it closely as some of it gets stuck in between the cracks of the tiles and the rest tries to stretch to the other side of the hall. I’m going to that party. She thinks as she stares at the chocolate milk all over the floor.

The rest of the school day goes by in a blur. The classes are just classes and Elani is in a catatonic state during all of them. Once she gets home, she has an hour and a half before her parents return. She looks through her closet trying to find something wear. Don’t wear that. No, definitely not that one. You should be getting your bathing suit for practice. It’s a costume party what’s your costume? Be an angel! Might as well be a devil. You need to hurry mom and dad are coming home soon. She takes a step back and continues to stare into her closet. She rests her head in her hands. This is too hard. She thinks as she closes her closet door. No, no I’m not going. Elani opens her drawer and takes out her swimsuit. She gets her large swim bag and places a towel and a change of clothes in it. She’s about to change into her suit when she hears her phone vibrate. She looks and it’s an unknown number. Who is that? She thinks to herself. She drops her suit on the bed and picks up her phone. She opens the message and almost falls over.

UNKNOWN: hey, its samuel r u coming or not?

Elani’s face lights up as she holds the screen close to her face. She begins typing into her phone.

ELANI: Hey Samuel!! Yeah im coming, see you soon!

“AHHHH!” Elani screams as she throws her phone on the bed. She begins to jump up and down messing up the rug on her bedroom floor. She freezes and thinks of swim practice and the party. Her thoughts pound in her head as she looks up at her ceiling. She takes a deep breath and stares at her swimsuit, then at her closet. She closes her eyes and thinks of the pros and cons for each. Party=Samuel, Food, Friends. Practice=Swim, Meet, Tiredness. She looks around her room and finds her cat ears. Elani finds a dark red dress and freaks out. This isn’t black you can’t be a cat with a red dress. Just find something else. Be a devil-cat. She decides on the red dress and quickly brushes her hair and finishes her makeup. Wait! She thinks. How am I supposed to get there? She texts one of her swim friends, Paige, who’s supposed to be at the party, to see where she is. Paige is one of the girls who doesn’t show up for swim practice but does when she needs to. It’s the perfect chance for Elani to get a ride, but the issue is she’s stubborn. After about a ten minute persuasion over text she finally convinces her to meet her down the street from her house. Elani thinks of her parents and looks at the time. She frantically texts them that she has a ride to practice and won’t be home until later because she’s staying at their house. Elani grabs her cat ears and runs to the front door when she hears a car pull up. Crap! They’re here! She runs to the back door and opens it as quietly as she can. When she’s standing on her deck she waits for her parents to go inside until she runs down the street. She’s breathing hard once Paige’s car pulls up. When she gets in she wipes the drops of sweat from her forehead and releases the breath she’s been holding. Paige glares at her, but finally steps on the gas.

About forty-five minutes later, She’s standing on the front steps. As soon as she walks into his house she sees flashing lights all around her. A disco ball fills the room with explosions of color. She looks out in front of her and sees a mob of people dancing in the middle of a room, their bodies colliding with one another. She spots Samuel at the corner of the room talking with one of his friends and two girls in short tight white dresses and halos on their heads. Elani sits on a couch and contemplates her decision of skipping practice. Someone hands her a cup and she quickly chugs it trying to wash away her thoughts. Her conscience begins to fill with regrets. She finds more cups and keeps drinking until her vision becomes blurred and the alcohol in her stomach bubbles. Elani starts to stand when she loses her balance, that’s when she feels someone grab her by the waist. Sparks fly through her body when she realizes it’s Samuel. Samuel turns her around so he’s facing her. The music blares through her ears as he stares at her. Her head’s throbbing when she feels his hands brace more tightly around her waist. He finally smirks at her and turns his head to face his friends.

“She’s here and she’s drunk, so pay up.”

His words hit her like a truck and she begins to feel dizzy again. Pay up? What does he mean by that? She looks around at everyone, as the room is filling with laughter. Fingers point to her as if she’s on display and the space around her starts to close in. She turns to face Samuel and she sees him laughing.

“What are you talking about? Samuel?” She grabs his arm and he rips it away as his face is covered with disgust. Her eyes get moist and she feels her tears trying to escape. She tries her best to restrain them but the warm droplets sear her cheeks. She walks away but someone grabs her wrist and pulls her back. Her knees shake and she falls to the ground. She covers her head with her arms and tries to block out the noise. One voice in particular stands out,

“BACK UP! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!” Elani feels warm hands on her back. When she looks up, long dark eyelashes greet her with an signature eye roll.

“Come on. Let’s go home.”



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