The runaway | Teen Ink

The runaway

September 25, 2017
By RainbowNoodle, Dallas, North Carolina
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RainbowNoodle, Dallas, North Carolina
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Author's note:

This piece means so much to me because I can relate to Jason and I feel that the world should know what it really feels like to live in the wrong skin


      Jason wasn't the type to see people as friends. In fact, he feared everyone, everything scared him. Part of this was because his past and part of this was because he over thought things a lot. But the strange thing was, Jason was quite the popular kid.

   
  Everyone always wishes for popularity, but  Jason didn't. He didn't ever wish for it, he hated it because the people who admired him didn't admire him for who he really was, just who they thought him to be.


       “Hailey wake up! You're going to be late!” Jason was already awake, he was curled into a ball on his bed. The name Hailey rumbled on in his head. He got up and sighed. He knew his mom had trouble with gendering and naming him sometimes, but other times it was almost as if she didn't even try for him. He threw on his binder and looked at himself still not satisfied. He took his attention off of his chest and looked closer at himself in the mirror.


      “I will tell them today. I don't care what they think. I don't care what they say, But I will tell them today and today is my day.” He took a deep breath and looked down at his feet and sobbed quietly. I'll never pass. He thought to himself as he took a moment to dry his tears and throw on his clothes.


      He wore a short purple button up and some black skinny jeans. He smiled a bit in the mirror and began to comb his short curly brown hair. He sprayed cologne and slipped on a pair of white vans. His green eyes almost sparkled. He took in a deep breath and made his way out of his room to face his mother. “Ha-Jason. You look nice today. I made you some breakfast it's on the table.” She spoke with a soft smile “Thanks mom but I've got a lot to do today, I should get going.” He said as he grabbed his backpack and headed towards the door. But before he left he stopped. He knew what face his mother was making. He didn't mean to be upset with her, sometimes he had to remind himself that slips were going to be normal. He turned around and gave her a tight hug. “Mom, I love you.” She immediately wrapped her arms back around him. “I love you too.” Then a smile appeared on her face. A few moments later she let go and Jason headed out the door to start his day off.

Jason stuck his hands in his pockets as he walked to school. Usually, he took the subway to school but he wanted to think over what he would say to everyone so he decided to walk instead. “What am I going to say anyways..” He mumbled quietly to himself and then looked around to see if anyone heard him. Surprise, I'm gay..and I'm a boy. I mean come on what's the worst that could happen? He thought to himself with a slight chuckle. He immediately wiped the smirk off of his face and frowned. The worst? Your crush hates you, your bestfriend leaves you. Your friends hate you. You're off all alone on your own because you messed it up. His mind was getting to him. He couldn't stop thinking of the absolute worst. 

As soon as he reached school his thoughts were interrupted He saw his crush standing outside and blushed slightly. Nate. Just his name was cute. Everything about nate was perfect and it had been that way for years. He wanted to go say something to him, Maybe even flirt with him a bit, but once again he was interrupted which was a relief for him considering he was too nervous to flirt with him anyways. “Hey Hailey! Wanna hang out after school?” He turned to see his best friend Sammy. Sammy was quite the outgoing type, she was loud, crazy and a risk taker, But she always had a backbone for Jason.


  He wanted to, badly. But once again his mind got the best of him. Yeah, go ahead and say yes. But i bet she won't wanna hang out with you after school after you tell them. “No thanks.” He mumbled as he continued to walk.
She followed him and sighed. “Come on hailey, you always wanna hang out. Plus, Nate will be there.” Jason blushed and sighed. “I'll think about it sammy.” Sammy stopped and looked at him examining him a bit closer. “Something is bothering you. Your my bestfriend, you know you can tell me anything.” He looked at her and took a deep exhale. I always tell her everything, I think I might feel better if I tell sammy first. He thought to himself and then looked around to see if anyone was paying attention. “Fine but don't tell anyone.” He mumbled. “Promise.” She smiled


Jason looked down at his feet afraid to see what sammy's facial reaction was. She didn't say anything. He Almost started crying. Jason took a second to force back his tears but was shocked when She put a hand on his back. He looked up at sammy who had a smile on her face. “Jason, I already knew. in fact, it was about time you told me.” Jason smiled at her with a slight laugh as she pulled him into a hug. “Thank you.” He couldn't believe what just happened but he was thankful sammy was there to support him. “Hey jason, I just want you to know that not everyone's reaction will be the same as mine, But i'm here to stay.” She said as she released him from the hug. “I know. I couldn't possibly ever have a better bestfriend than you.” He said with a smile. “Yeah, yeah yeah. Now let's get inside, It's cold out here and you don't even have a sweater on!” She giggled walking in with him.


The day flew by quickly, He was now in his chemistry class taking an exam but by the middle of the class people began to stare at Jason. This made him feel uncomfortable but he tried keeping his mind on the exam he was taking. The teacher cleared his throat in the sclient room. “I'll be right back.” The man spoke before exiting the room. Nate who sat beside of Jason eyed him occasionally. Jason took in a deep breath and Looked back at him. “What is it?” He asked nate very quietly admiring him from afar. Before nate could open his mouth a girl dropped her things by Jason's desk and cleared her throat. “Could ya hand me that, Tranny.” She said loudly and the class roared with laughter behind her. How do they know? He asked himself as tears rolled down his cheeks. “Come on tranny. Ive not got all day.” Jason sniffled then his eyes widened remembering Nate who was also outside when he came out to his best friend. He looked over at Nate. He wasn't laughing but he was looking at jason like he knew exactly what was going on.

 

“YOU JERK!” Jason screamed at nate while more tears poured from his eyes. He grabbed all of his things and ran out of the room, out of the school as far and as fast as his legs could take him. “JASON STOP.” He heard nate's voice call to him from behind but he didn't stop. He made his way into the subway station and sat in a small conor.


“Just leave me alone..” Jason cried sniffling. Nothing could make him feel better at the moment. “Not until you know the truth.” Nate said in a stern voice. Jason stood up and looked nate in the eyes as his tears continued to flow out. “Oh, you mean the part where you told everyone everything. Or the part where people laugh at me because of you?” Nate took Jason's hand and squeezed it. “Jason that's not what happend.” Jason sniffled and looked at him. “Out of all people it sucks for the guy you've had the biggest crush on for seven years to be the one who y-” Before He could finish nate cupped Jason's cheeks and brought his lips to his and kissed him with passion.

   Jason pulled back a bit. His cheeks were red but he was confused. “Why did you do that.” He stuttered. Nate looked Jason in the eyes. “Let me explain.” Jason bit his bottom lip and nodded. “I overheard your conversation with sammy so, I asked her. Of course she didn't tell me anything but I told her I heard everything and she made me promise not to tell anyone. I asked her if you were Into males and again she didn't answer. I explained to her that I was gay and I have had a crush on you for awhile and she got excited, but I guess a kid overheard it and it got spread around fast. I'm sorry Jason I didn't mean for this to happen to you..I just really like you. “
 
  Jason wrapped his arms around Nate's neck. “I'm sorry for accusing you.” Nate wrapped his arms around Jason's waist. “I think to clear this all up, you should tell them. That way it's not like a rumor.” Jason shook his head and then buried it into Nate's shoulder. “It won't be easy.” He mumbled into it. Nate laughed a little. “It's never easy, they think we're sick. But we have to be who we are.” Nate paused as he kissed the top of Jason's head. “But we'll do it together.” Jason's eyes widened. “I can't ask you to do that.” He said looking up at him. “And you didn't ask me. I offered and I won't take no as an answer.” Nate said looking down at the smaller male.Jason nodded and took Nate's hand. “But not now..I cant. My mom isn't used to it yet and my da-I'll just have to wait until I'm not living under his roof.” Nate raised a brow. “Your dad doesn't know does he?” Jason took a deep breath looking down at his feet. “If he did, I'd be dead.”

 

Nate began to walk with jason in the empty subway station. “Im sure he would-” Jason pulled away and looked firmly into Nates eyes and stood in front of him as they stopped walking. “Look Nate. I like you, alot. But you don't know my dad. You don't know what i've been through and unfortunately we don't live in a story book where everything is magical, unicorns and rainbows and happiness” Nate stopped walking and looked at him. “I didn't say we do Jason.” He took Jason's hand and pointed at the walls of the subway station. “This subway station is almost two hundred years old.” Jason raised a brow in confusion. “What about it.” Jason mumbled looking at him with guilt. He felt bad for assuming the conversation was going in another direction. “The owner, James Demarco. He made this and he said it was his most prized possession. Demaco  may get mad that not many people use it, but he would never tear it down.” Jason smiled up at him. “Are you  comparing me to an old subway station?” Jason giggled out. “You bet your grandma's homemade cookies I am.” Nate chuckled meeting Jason's eyes.


Jasons heart beat rapidly in his chest as he looked into Nate's eyes. “What do we do now?” Nate took in a deep breath and smiled looking up at a train that shot into the subway. “Let's go to your house. I wanna meet your parents.” Nate spoke. Jason's eyes widened. “Who in the world would ever want do that.” Jason giggled. “Hm, Maybe your boyfriend.” Nate smiled and looked down at the smaller boy. “Did you title yourself that?” Jason said laughing. “I didn't hear you argue with it.” Nate smirked. “And i didn't hear you ask.” Jason giggled back. “Fine, Jason. Will you be my boyfriend?” Jason blushed and looked into nate's eyes. “Maybe.” Jason giggled as nate quickly pulled him into the subway train. “I'm kidding. Of course i'll be your boyfriend.” Nate blushed taking Jason's hand. They got stares from about every angle but they managed to keep their cool.


Jason opened his front door quickly walking in as fast as he could dragging nate behind him. “Hailey!” Jason's stomach became weak. His stomach curled and he instantly wished he were anywhere but home. “Don't make me come get you.” Jason's dad called out again. Jason already quivered in fear as he made his way down the stairs and into the living room. Nate took note of his actions and followed behind him slowly yet closely. “Yes dad?” He spoke slowly. The room reeked. “Why are you here already?” He spoke taking a swig of his drink. “Incident at school..but nate and I are going to go study in my room.” Jason said weakly. “Pretend like you're not here. I like it that way.” Jason nodded and ran up the stairs quickly going into his room. Nate stayed downstairs eyeing Jason's father, he was dying to say something but he kept his mouth shut and made his way into Jason's room.


Jason sniffled wiping his eyes. Nate sat beside of him pulling him close to his chest. “Hey, don't listen to his crap. He's just a jerk..what's his problem anyways?” Nate whispered to him pushing pieces of his curly hair out of his eyes. “Hes always been that way. He refuses to accept me and he says it's moms fault.” Jason mumbled. Nate raised a brow. “I thought he didn't know that you are gay.” Nate said slowly rocking him. Jason choked a bit on his words before they came out. More tears flooded his eyes. “He doesn't..he just hates me. He calls me the accident.” Nate became a bit more angry with Jason's father. “Thats stupid.” Nate said still running a hand through his hair.


“Can I say something crazy?” Jason mumbled in Nature's embrace. “Hmm?” Nate said rubbing his back some more. “I wanna tell him..I wanna hand him a note or something and just take off.” He said slowly. “Where would you go?” Nate whispered kissing Jason's forehead. “I dont know..far away. Somewhere where I could be me.” Nate nodded slowly. “All by yourself?” Jason looked at him. “Would you want to come with me?” Nate nodded immediately. “When would you be giving him this letter?” Nate asked looking back into Jason's eyes. “Tomorrow i wish.” Jason said laughing a bit. “Then let's go tomorrow.” Nate said looking into Jason's eyes so he knew he was serious. Jason sat up slowly. “I couldn't ever ask yo-” he started before Nate cut him off with a kiss. “I'm going with you. Thats final.” Jason took a deep breath nodding. “I'll go put the note in his safe..He usually doesn't open it until the mornings anyways.” Jason said before pressing his lips against Nate's again. Nate smiled at him and sat up. “Be careful.” Jason nodded and made his way down the stairs. Slowly, he was trying his best not to wake anyone.


Soon Jason tiptoed back into the room with Nate who had dumped all of their school supplies out and packed a whole bunch of food and clothes. Jason crawled onto the bed admiring Nate. Pretty Soon Nate would be the only thing Jason had left and somehow he wasn't upset at all about it. As Nate finished he put the bags down and crawled in the bed next to Jason Pulling him to his chest. “Were going to be ok.” Nate whispered to Jason Planting kisses on his cheek. “I take your word for it.” Jason whispered snuggling to his chest, and with that they fell asleep.


“HAILEY!” Nate jumped up and shook Jason. “Get up! Your dad found it early!” Jason sat up rubbing his eyes. “Hmm..?” Jason's dad kicked the door down and grabbed Jason punching him. “YOU'RE NOT GAY!” Jason was officially awake But all he could see was Nate jump on his dad and began punching him. Jason got up grabbing the bags and cried as Nate was struck in the jaw. “NATE! LET'S GO!” A few punches later Nate got up grabbing the second bag and took Nate's hand as they ran towards the front door. Jason stopped as he heard his mother cry on the way out. He turned to her as he met her eyes. “MOM..I love you.” He stared back a few seconds and squeezed Nate's hand tightly as they ran as fast and as far as they could go.


Months Passed and Jason and Nate were lost. They were weak but they were happy. No food, No water. Nothing but each other. They have been on the missing persons list for what seemed like forever. Jason laid in Nate's arms so hungry, so weak. “I love you.” Nate felt his stomach scratching at his insides. “I love you too.” They both knew they didn't have long to live, but they made the best out of it. “I wish i could have lived to the day we were married.” Jason sniffled. “Till death do us part..I do.” Nate coughed out. “I do..you may now kiss the groom.” Jason choked out. And with that they used their last breath exchanging a kiss.


 



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