“Lost in confusion
Like an illusion”



Logan was confused. He didn’t know what to do anymore; he was helpless. The girl who he cherished, hated, laughed with had left him. He didn’t understand – things were going well.

His thought lied. Things weren’t going well for the unique pair – he knew that but didn’t want to face it and what happened three weeks ago didn’t do him much justice.

Logan was dumbfounded – disoriented. Not even the phone call of his best mate, Jake, begging him to leave his apartment, could cheer this lad up. He was destroyed from the inside as well as out. Dark bags under his lifeless eyes and chapped lips were something he had gotten used to. His hair was messy, his skin uncared for and even his clothing choices were a wreck. He was a wreck.

He didn’t know how to comprehend with such thing. He never had real love – his former girlfriends, Caroline, Madeline and Anna weren’t classified as something he loved as much as her. Her brown hair was unique with it’s ends dyed pink and her piecering at the top of her ear which she sometimes – rarely – wore an ear cuff in it. She was gorgeous – and used to be his. All his.

The thought made him smile – the past made him smile. Sure they had their ups and downs time to time but the love the curly head had for the brunette was never ending. He wanted to grow old with her, have kids – start a family. Fly around the world – be in places they had always dreamed of. Live in Hawaii for a year and then move all the way to Thailand. From point to point, from year to year, side by side.

It was an impossible idea – it really was and Logan realized that. He only realized it when she left.

The front door opened, the first sign of life that walked into his apartment from the last three days. Day one when she broke up with him – he isolated himself from the world and stayed in his apartment. His good mates took notice and they visited Logan, trying to convince him to leave his stuffy apartment. But nothing did this boy any good, as he stayed stubborn and stayed in his boring, motionless apartment.

“Logan,” the girl sucked in a deep breath of air – surprised to find the curly haired boy sitting on the sofa. “Didn’t know you would be here.”

Logan scoffed. He was in no need to see here. She gave him a pit in his stomach. It was as if she came back just to mock him that she wasn’t his anymore.

“Summer,” Logan gawked at her, rising up. She took a step back, the memory of what happened three weeks ago flashed in her mind. He sighed – realizing what she was thinking of. “How many times can I tell you I am sorry?”

“You can tell me a billion times but you should know I could never forget such thing,” she shook her head, her hair falling in her face. She walked past him – bumping shoulders – as she grabbed a bag that leaned against the grey wall.

Summer lived with Logan in his glorious apartment but after the break up she was obligated to leave. She got an apartment all the way in West London where her Uni was near. The only problem was it had a strict rule of ‘No pets allowed’, something the animal owner was not affectionate of.

“Where’s Marley?” she asked looking around for a dog she had grown tight off. In the last couple of weeks she started to pounder on the thought if she missed the dog more then her ex-boyfriend. Marley was the dog that Summer and Logan kept together and was also the reason of how they met.

“Marley!” Summer giggled as her buddy came trotting to her, licking her hand as she bent down to be somewhat his level. “How are ya buddy?”

She scruffed his head when she noticed he hadn’t been washed or combed for a while. And nothing could put the fact she could count the dog’s ribcage to innocence.

“Logan, have you been feeding Marley for the last few days?” She inquired to the blameworthy curly haired. He didn’t give an answer as he fell back on the couch. “Logan! How can you do this to the poor dog?”

Logan didn’t answer. He felt bad enough for what he had done to her – he didn’t need this s*** to happen as well. Logan loved Marley – he would walk him with Summer almost everyday but after the break up, Logan found it hard to make eye contact with the dog. He was the reason they met, they fell in love.

“I think I’ll beg my landlord once again if I can keep Marley,” She shook her head, standing up, her knees cracking as she hurried to the kitchen where she prepared food for Marley which staggered Logan that he still had dog food.

“Why did you leave, Summer?” Logan blurted out after she had given Marley his desperate food.

Summer sighed – sitting on the couch. She had no words for the boy but she wanted to end it clearly before she would never see his face again.

“Logan you did something that tilted my world. I never thought you were such a guy who would – I don’t even want to talk about it,” Summer sighed out, rubbing her temples hoping it would relax – which it really didn’t.

Logan stayed still gazing at his palms. Neither Summer nor Logan could possibly understand why Logan always needed the upper hand of Summer and three weeks ago was the time where he lost it – lost it on Summer. Then he lost Summer.

“How’s your arm?”

“Better,” she gulped looking down at her once filled with bruises arm. “I went to the doctor to check if it was broken.”

“Did you tell them –“ Logan broke his sentence off. He knew if he finished it, Summer would break down. Summer was in a fragile state – at least that’s what Carter, Summer’s best friend had been telling Logan in the past few days.

“Of course not,” she shook her head, her eyes becoming glassy. “But I feel like I should tell someone.”

“Summer –“

“I better get going,” she cried, her tears streaming down her face. She swiped them away as if they were nothing but the couple knew a lot was behind the tears. “I’ll figure out what to do with Marley later. Please take care of him.”

Logan couldn’t hold her back. It was his fault why she was like this. Why she was so hurt and couldn’t even give a second glance at the boy she once loved. Both of the pair was extremely broken and they wondered if they would ever be okay again.




“I see you're here again.”

“And I see you look a lot better,” Summer observed as she whisked past him and strolling in the apartment she used to live in. It gave her a bit of a homesick feeling knowing she wouldn’t be seeing the candle stain on the living room floor from the time Logan and her tried to meditate or the coca-cola stain on the kitchen’s ceiling from the time Logan shook the Coke bottle too much. These were all memories she longed to go back to.

“What can I help you with?”

“I’m here to talk about Marley. I found a family for him and I’m bringing him there tonight. It’s your choice if you want to come or not,” Summer explained as she leaned against behind of the couch. She was wearing skinny grey pants with a heart patterned blouse and her flats. Her hair was neatly in a braid, falling down her shoulder, the ends hot pink.

“Couldn’t you say this over the phone?” Logan was an awfully bad mood and the last thing he wanted was for her to come back just to talk about the dog. Logan had gotten passed the stage when he realized Summer wasn’t going to come back to him.

“Logan please,” Summer sighed disappointment washing over her face. “Can you come or not?”

“I’m hosting a party tonight,” Logan mumbled under his breath obviously ashamed of his choice. Logan didn’t even bother to invite her along knowing she would just reject him. Summer wasn’t much of a drinker – she liked wine or beer at occasions but shots and tequila where too sweet for her liking. Summer wasn’t the strongest girl of them all.

“Oh okay,” a mumble escaped Summer’s lips as she looked away in disappointment yet again. Disappointment was an emotion, Summer felt a lot these past days. Also an emotion she could not seem to get rid off.

An uncomfortable silent wrapped the pair. Nothing was how it used to be. Everything was reversed. If you had rolled back three weeks ago, there wouldn’t be this silence but laughter and happy tears. He would peck her cheek when the laughter died down and take her out for some Asian food. Both pair yearned for those times even though both wouldn’t admit it. Maybe that was their problem after everything. They repudiated to face the cold-hearted truth.

“I’ll leave now. I’m back at around 7:45 to pick up Marley. See you then.”

Gracefully she left the apartment and into her car, riding away. Logan stood frozen, regret pounding in his stomach. He should have talked to her. Convinced her to stay for maybe a cup of her favourite tea. For another memory to be created perhaps? But Logan was passed that.



“7:45 sharp,” Logan smirked at the girl who rang on his front door. She huffed and lazily stared him in the eye not in the mood for any of his boring games. She suspected he was drunk but he didn’t look near it.

“You know me,” Summer shrugged stepping into the apartment. Loud music was blaring, bouncing off the walls, the smell of alcohol was the only scent she smelled. She gagged a little. The party side of, Logan was never her favourite.

“So where’s Marley?” She wandered as she roamed around the apartment in search for the probably anxious dog. Summer already sympathetic for the dog, and now this?

“In his cage,” Logan replied as they both walked towards the laundry area where surely Marley was resting in his cage. Summer directed Logan to carry the dogs toys, food and drink bowls and basket to her car as Summer would lead Marley to the car. The duo met up at the vehicle.

“Any last words?” Summer inquired as she held the leash a bit higher. Logan knew if he didn’t say anything, she would be upset and yet again disappointed in him. Ever since three weeks ago disappointment was all Summer felt.

Disappointment, disappointment, disappointment.

Logan bent down and patted the dog. “I’ll miss ya buddy,” he cooed with his grin as he played and petted the dog, who played back. “Be good.” Logan kissed the top of his head as he stood back up.

“Is that all?” Summer asked her eyebrow. Suddenly Logan felt as if there were a double meaning behind that sentence but he brushed it off. He shook his head and she nodded – no emotion visible on her face – as she opened the back door of her car and Marley obediently jumped in.

It broke his heart to see that dog leave. He felt as if the dog left, him and Summer were nothing. They wouldn’t ever see each other again, say hello, swap coffee’s or even have those skype calls they always had.

“Summer!” Logan called before he let the brunette step in her car. She turned her head, confused.

“Is there anyway we could start over?”

She sighed and he knew something was big was going to come. She was going to barf a bunch of thoughts, feelings and opinions she bottled up the last few months.

“How dare you ask such thing, Logan?” She scoffed shaking her head. “Look what you’ve done to me! I’m a mess! All because of you! And you where never the boy I thought you would be! No boy would ever lay hand on a girl. Ever!”

Logan frowned. He couldn't stand to see her hurt and before it dawned on him a flashback came he despised to have.

“Logan you’re just some dirty jerk okay!” Summer hollered as she stormed away from the kitchen where her boyfriend stood, stunned.

“Summer, come back here!” he yelled back, “You can’t leave after ever single f*ing discussion!”

Summer stopped right in the middle of the living room and crossed her arms childishly.

“Logan you made a fool out of me at the freaking brit awards! On national television!” She screamed in his face – at the same time crying. Two emotions mixed in one – not a good combo.

“I told you, I am f*ing sorry!”

“You sure don’t act like you are!”

That was the last straw for Logan. He raised his hand up and before he could even stop himself, he smacked her right on the upper arm, with full power. She stumbled back and tripped over the couch. Logan brought his hand down and covered his mouth.

“Summer! Are you okay? I am so sorry!” he rambled as he ran to the injured girl on the floor. She stopped crying and looked at her arm who already began swelling.

“You are a f*ing monster, Logan Bait.”

And oh indeed she was right – he was a monster.


“Is this only about that night?” Logan probed focusing on the pavement. “Or was it the Brits as well?”

“It was everything,” she declared holding her forehead. “It was from you being gone for 6 months and being here for maybe two days –“

“You could have visited,” Logan added narrowing his eyes at the girl, “Then we wouldn’t have this problem.”

“Logan, I also have a life and you know that. I cannot just hop on a plane in the middle of my school work and fly over to Japan to see you. That’s not how it works,” Summer whispered the last part holding her head a bit down. She felt scared that the monster side of Logan would come back and slap her in the face literally.

“We can make this work!” Logan piped up holding her always warm hands but this time they were icy cold. Logan raised his eyebrow as he stared at her bipolar hands. Summer ripped them from his grip and shook her head.

“We both need to move on.”

“Summer please don't do this! I –“ Was he really going to say the 8 letter words to someone who he knew wouldn't say them back.

Summer caught up with what he was going to say and she froze by her car door and stared at him. Something deep, deep inside of her wanting to give him a second chance. She wanted to run into his arms she desired to and he would lift her up and kiss her. She wanted that perfect moment.

“I love you Summer McClain!” He yelled so loudly doubtlessly the whole neighborhood heard. Summer’s lips betrayed her and she smiled.

“I love you too, Logan Edward Bait.”

They both knew – mostly Summer – that they needed to move on. In the back of their messed up and busy heads they knew that. They lived everyday hearing the voice in their heads that these things don’t work. And today – it was just another piece of discreditable evidence that their mind was right.


“At some point of your life, you will become aware that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.”