Rainbow | Teen Ink

Rainbow

November 4, 2016
By Anonymous

For the past nine years, “black” has seemed to be my parents favorite word. What did that word even mean? When I was seven years old , it was a color. I would see it on a color wheel in my classroom. A color containing all the colors that had even existed. A secret rainbow. To my parents it was a bad word. A word hurting us all. They said it was a burden. I had to look up what this word meant in the dictionary. The definition certainly did not say a rainbow in any way at all. The next day, it rained. The sun was shining and I saw the colors plastered against the sky. I stuck my tongue out at it. If the rainbow was, in fact, a burden, I wanted nothing to do with it. The problem was, it was so beautiful, that I felt bad that I had stuck my tongue out the moment I had. That night I asked my mom why she hated the rainbow people. My mom gave me look of confusion,

“What do you mean buttercup?” she said while washing the dishes from dinner. She didn’t turn around  to look at me. She kept scrubbing.
“Black people. My teacher at school says black is all the colors put together. I hear you and daddy say that they are bad people. I think rainbows are pretty. What makes them different?”


My mom turned around quick and looked me in the eye. This made me very happy. My mom was always too busy doing something, I felt like I had a good relationship with her back. Nine years later, the only thing I get to see from my mother is a disappointed face.  She paused for a moment and then took a deep breath. She crouched down and put her arm on my shoulder. She smelled like soap.
“Buttercup…,” she forced a smile, but her eyes had anger in them. “I need you to understand that these people are dirty and criminal people. I don’t want to hear you talk about them like that. I don’t want you to talk about them at all. Am I clear?”
She kissed me on the head and went back to cleaning the dishes. I looked outside. It was raining.
From this moment, I don’t think it was hard to see how I might grow up. I have never seen anything wrong with black people, despite what my parents tell me.
Last week while walking home from school, I saw a rally going on near a local black church. Well, I wouldn’t call it a rally, exactly.  It was more like a man yelling his feelings to a crowd. I saw him on my walk home from school everyday and he was always yelling about something new each day, always complaining about something. I mean, he did have something to complain about, being black and all, but it was never too serious. Today he seemed to have a pretty good crowd. After every word he said, the people cheered.  I pushed my small body through through the crowd. As I made my way through the front people stared at me in shock. I got this a lot attending rallies, because I was often one out of a small group of white people who attended. I finally moved my way to the front, where I could finally hear what this man was saying.
“...PEOPLE OF WASHINGTON DC, AS YOU ALL KNOW, DR. KING WILL BE LEADING THIS  MARCH VERY SOON. I AM COUNTING ON YOU TO BE THERE TO MARCH WITH US. NO MATTER WHO YOU MAY BE. WOMAN, CHILD, OR MAN,”
He stole a glance in my direction.
“black...or white” his eyes focused on me and a smirk creeped across his face.
Everyone looked around to see what was so important when they finally saw me.
“YOUNG LADY!”
He stepped down off the bench he had been standing on and got close up to my face. In the back of my mind I could hear my mother saying,
“Amy! What do you think you are doing? That man is a criminal! He could kill you right now! Run while you still can!”
I shut out my mother’s imaginary pleas and looked back at the man.
“I hope to see you there” he winked at me and then walked off down the street, as if he hadn’t started a rally at all and that this was just a regular day. 
Everyone scurried away in different directions, excitedly whispering about the march and Doctor King. They moved like a school of minos when you put your foot in the water.
As I was walking back to my house, a black boy around my age jogged up next to me. He gave me a shy smile. I smiled back. After a few seconds of me wondering what in the world this kid was doing, he finally spoke.
“Hey, I’m Marcus. I’ve seen you ‘round before at them rallies they got happenin’ here. I ain’t seen no other white girls there besides you. I think it’s real cool that you involved and all.”
I was really quite surprised this boy was talking to me. A white girl casually talking to a black boy was not something you saw everyday.
“My name is Amy, Amy Gallant. And thank you, I think it’s important that everyone feels equal, so I do what I can.”
“There is a party I’m havin’ tonight as a sort of celebration for Dr. King and all he done for us. You should come by around 5 o’clock at this church right here. We’da love to have you”
“Thank you very much! I will see you there.”
Marcus jogged off in the opposite direction.
The moment I walked into my house, my mother was waiting for my with a annoyed look and tapping foot.
“Amy Gallant where have you been? You got out of school an hour ago! You better not have been at one of those n***** rallies! They are brainwashing you out there, you know.”
“No mom, I just decided to take the long route, it is such a nice day out”
My mother rolled her eyes at me. She knew I was lying. No route from school nearly took quite as long as I did to get home.
My mom went to the kitchen and started to make a sandwhich for my father.
“Mom!”, I yelled from the living room, “I have a project to day I am to work on with Emily. Is it okay if I sleep at her house tonight”
Emily Scheuer was my best friend since preschool, and my partner in crime when it came to rallies and protests. My mom thought she was the sweetest and most well behaved girl, so I knew she would say yes.
“Oh of course! Emily is such a sweet girl, I wish I could see her over here more often.”
I checked the time – 4:30.
“Actually mom, I better be going now. It’s always good to get a head start!”
I grabbed my school bag and left the house before my mom could say no.
I anxiously rang Emily’s doorbell. I was so excited to tell her the news.
She opened the door and grinned like a cheshire cat. She knew that if I showed up unexpectedly, we were going to do something great.
“Oh my god, Amy! What’s happening tonight? Give me the good news!”
I paused for a moment for dramatic effect. I had never been so excited to tell her what adventure we would be going on this time.
“This boy Marcus invited me to a party honoring Dr. Martin Luther King! How cool is that? We will actually be able to meet these people! Rallies are hardly enough. We can actually get to know them! But, it starts at 5 o’clock so we better get going.”
Emily squealed and ran back into the house. She came out with her coat and purse.
“Let’s go!” Emily said while running ahead of me.
As we got to the church I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I was so excited, but i was still afraid they wouldn’t accept me. I opened the doors to see tables set up with loads of food. People were dancing in the middle of the church to music echoing throughout the room. It was music I hadn’t really ever heard before. I saw Marcus across the room and waved. He gestured for me to come over. I grabbed Emily by the wrist and we ran over to meet him.
“Hey Marcus! This is my best friend Emily. I hope it is okay that I brought her”
I hadn’t really thought about not asking about inviting her until now. My already rosy cheeks turned red as quick as a stop light.
“Of course it’s okay! The more the merrier” This didn’t come from Marcus, but a black reverend still in his church clothes.
“Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Reverend Smith,” he turned to Marcus. “Who are these lovely young ladies?”.
“Amy and Emily reverend. They some real nice girls.”
“I would think so.”
Reverend Smith winked at Emily and me with a smile.
“Well, help yourself to anything you like. Have fun!”
I turned to Emily with the silliest grin on my face. I had never been so accepted in a crowd like this. It felt so good to not be the odd one out.
I walked over to the table of food. I saw so many foods that I had never seen before. I saw something that looked like both rice and pasta. I started to scoop some onto a plate, but started to examine it. I must’ve looked really weird because a women came up behind me and started to laugh.
“It’s couscous honey. Delicious and good for you. You don’t seem to come around here often. I’m glad you came though. Marcus has mentioned you before and it is amazing what you do and how brave you are.”
I tried to answer, but it came out as mushy as the couscous in my mouth.
“Thunk yuf” a piece of couscous fell from my mouth. My mother would have scolded me for such awful manners, but the woman just laughed.
“I’m Christiana. It was nice to meet you Amy.”
That night Emily and I had the most fun I had ever had in my life. The problems came when the party was over. Marcus offered to walk us halfway home, but the moment we stepped outside the church, there was my mother, waiting. She was furious.
“Amy Ann Gallant, you are coming home with me this instant.”
Once we got home, my mother exploded.
“Did you really think I didn’t know what was really going on? What did I say about those dirty n*****s? I don’t want you near them ever again! You are grounded for a month.”
“But Mom, you don’t understand,” I said, holding back tears. “They are fine people just like you and me”
I knew that sentence had been a mistake. My mother slapped me across the face. I felt as though her hand would be tattooed to my face forever.
“They are not like you and me. If I ever hear something like that come from your mouth again, you will not be allowed in my house anymore.”
“Maybe that would be for the best!” I yelled. I was done with her racist mind and rude comments. I was done with her abuse. I got up and ran out of the house. I just kept running. I ran until I reached the church. Marcus was still sitting there. I walked over and sat down next to him.
“What happened? Are you alright?
He pointed at my red cheek. I looked at the ground. I felt hot tears rolling down my face.
“My mother kicked me out. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, for now, you could always stay with my ma’ and I. You have always believed in us, I think it is time we repay you”
I smiled and put my head on his shoulder. I looked into the sky and despite the setting sun, I could’ve sworn I saw a rainbow.



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