(HIKARU, a Japanese businessman, keeps pressing the emergency button of the stuck elevator as PIMEYS, a Finnish black metal singer dressed in dark, flamboyant attire, looks on).
 
HIKARU
Ikagen'ni shite! They must know we’re stuck! We’ve been trapped here for thirty minutes and no one has responded!
 
PIMEYS
(Scoffs)
Rentouta, japanilainen mies! They know we’re here. They will come. Rentouta.
 
(HIKARU turns furiously at him).
 
HIKARU
How can you be so calm? I have a very important meeting to attend! My job depends on it! You, on the other hand, will miss that concert in the city square.
 
PIMEYS
So?
 
HIKARU
So!? My life! (Chuckles) Of course you won’t be so worry. You’ll just be missing out on the drugs and women there. No job. Just that.
 
(PIMEYS starts to laugh heavily).
 
PIMEYS
You’re funny, japanilainen mies. There will be enough drugs and girls over there for me, no matter how late I will come. My band always saves some for their lead singer.
 
(HIKARU is taken aback in surprise by this comment).
 
HIKARU
You’re the leader of that weird band playing tonight?
 
PIMEYS
Yes. Yes, I am. I know it’s a bit funny and all, since the city got this heavy metal group to play on New Year’s Eve, which is only five days after Christmas, but we always enjoy doing gigs.
 
HIKARU
Huh. Interesting. People actually like your weird music?
 
PIMEYS
We have a following. It’s big enough for us to get invited to this state. People like Finnish commodities, it seems.
 
HIKARU
You’re Finnish?
 
PIMEYS
Yeah. And you’re Japanese.
 
(HIKARU is even more surprised by PIMEYS’ comments).
 
HIKARU
You understand me?
 
PIMEYS
(Chuckles)
I’m European, japanilainen mies. We know tons of languages.
 
HIKARU
Even Japanese?
 
PIMEYS
Even Japanese. (Beat) By the way, if you don’t mind me suggesting, just relax. They will come.
 
(HIKARU shuffles his feet. He grips harder on his suitcase and sighs).
 
HIKARU
That’s the second time you’re telling me to relax.
 
PIMEYS
I’m only suggesting. I’m being a friendly being. That’s all.
 
(HIKARU humorously views PIMEYS’ attire from top to bottom).
 
HIKARU
(Chuckles)
You don’t look so friendly.
 
PIMEYS
You don’t judge a book by its cover. Hmm… That’s clichéd, they say in English. I like to put it like this: Neither a natural justice nor a natural injustice exists.
 
HIKARU
(Extremely baffled)
What?
 
PIMEYS
You can judge me based on appearance, and you can be incorrect. You can judge me not based on appearance, and you still can be incorrect. Either way, you’re wrong.
 
(HIKARU scratches his head in the utmost confusion. His face expresses a lot of insecurity from PIMEYS’ philosophical quote).
 
HIKARU
That’s… paradoxical.
 
PIMEYS
It is. It’s also simple nihilismi.
 
HIKARU
(Nods head)
Nihilismi.
 
PIMEYS
(Smiles)
You don’t get it. That’s okay. For me, and maybe this is why I became a heavy metal singer, life is a big vittu sinulle. Life sucks. So, I myself must do whatever I want to prove that life; yes, it is still a big vittu sinulleand will always be, but you find some exciting moments in there to say vittu takaisinback to life.
 
HIKARU
That’s philosophical. (Beat) What does vittumean? You keep sayingvittu.
 
PIMEYS
You don’t want to know. It’s a bit inappropriate in Finnish. But as I was saying, you got to find the few happy things in all of your crappy life and make it last as long as you can.
 
(HIKARU thinks deeply after what PIMEYS said. His face shows a deep concentration in thought. It also displays some more confusion).
 
PIMEYS
(Cont’d)
You’re still confused, japanilainen mies. Once again, that’s okay. (Clicks tongue) How do I make this simpler? Oh! My band and I, Pyha Antikristus, will do drugs and be involved with women this New Years’ Eve. There’s no doubt about that.
 
HIKARU
(Stunned)
Okay.
 
PIMEYS
You will be making a pitch or something at a very important meeting; the most important you say! Hopefully, you’re job will be secured. However, you’re going to have more important meetings, meetings that are the most important of your life! I see it as a bit repetitive.
 
HIKARU
What do you mean?
 
PIMEYS
It’s the same thing over and over again. It never ends. Life, once again, is screwing you over! And you’re wife—
 
HIKARU
I’m not married.
 
PIMEYS
Your parents and other family will never see you as much—
 
HIKARU
I work at my father’s firm.
 
PIMEYS
(Groans)
You’re life is going to suck and currently does! You’re going to walk into that one suicide forest in Japan and never come out. That what life wants you to do, but you can’t walk into that forest yet! You must live briefly!
 
HIKARU
How so?
 
PIMEYS
As I said before, my band and I are going to do drugs and have sex with women if they offer themselves to us. We don’t care of the consequences of such deeds; we just do them because we’re all dying anyways. See, we’re living for the temporary time. (Pointing) You aren’t. You forget of the great, little occurrences in life.
 
HIKARU
So you’re saying that I should do drugs and lose my virginity?
 
PIMEYS
Hyva Jumala, you’re still a virgin? You’re like in your mid-thirties! Anyways, I’m not saying to do all those things. (Scoffs) I can tell you’re not that type of person. Half of it is illegal, but we don’t care. All I’m saying is you should do things that you find brief enjoyment in doing. What do you find enjoyment in?
 
HIKARU
Well, I love playing video games. I love to make Italian food.
 
PIMEYS
Then play video games! Then make delicious ravioli! They are brief moments of great happiness, and because of our long and terrible lives, you should do those precious things as much as you can!
 
HIKARU
You’re right. (Ecstatically) You’re right!
 
(HIKARU drops his briefcase to the floor. He clinches his fists as a smile appears on his face).
 
HIKARU
I have worked all my life. For what; so I can work even more? I work at my father’s firm, onnegaidakara! My life sucks. Life sucks. Life is a big vittu, and I must vittu it back!
 
PIMEYS
It’s New Year’s Eve. Tomorrow could be the first day of a new year. You could make a new, happy direction in your long, miserable life.
 
HIKARU
I can. I can.
 
(HIKARU is celebrating as a satisfied PIMEYS looks on).
 
HIKARU
I am not going to that meeting! Life is too kudaranai for meetings. I will play video games because I love play video games. I will make my ravioli because I love making Italian food! I will lose my shojoto a girl because I am forty-one!
 
PIMEYS
You’re forty-one? Vau, that’s even worse.
 
HIKARU
(Beat)
But first, I must wait until they come.
 
(HIKARU stares at the elevator doors, wondering when they will be rescued. PIMEYS glances at the elevator doors.)
 
PIMEYS
They will come. They will come eventually.
 
HIKARU
Yes. Yes, they will come.
 
(HIKARU eyes the emergency buttons briefly before pressing repeatedly, now for a refined purpose, as PIMEYS glances on).