Understanding | Teen Ink


January 30, 2012
By BretAlexzander, windsor, Connecticut
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BretAlexzander, Windsor, Connecticut
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Author's note: This is a fan-fiction of of the show Without a Trace. I found this story in my notebook. I completely forgot about it. Anyways comments are welcome, tell me what you think good or bad.

The author's comments:
This chapter is just background. I'm not sure if this one flows as well as it should. This is my first article so feed back is welcome, good or bad.

“Are you alright?” Danny asked seeing a somewhat depressed looking Martin. Then again he could just be in deep though, anyone who knew Martin had a habit of thinking himself in circles.

“I’m fine,” Martin grunted, going back to typing his report. They were both FBI agents in the Missing Persons Unit. Martin had been here a little over a year and the one thing that Danny learned about Marin was that he was a bit of a workaholic. He always needed to get his reports done right after a case done and since they just closed a case it was only right he was working now.

“I don’t think I told you this just yet but, Elena and I are engaged.” Elena was the newest member of the team. After Martin had been shot Elena came in as a temporary agent but became permanent after she proved herself to Jack, their boss,

“I heard,” Martin said simply, still not looking up.

“You sound excited.”

“Sorry for my lack of enthusiasm, I’ve just never liked Elena.” Danny’s eyebrow shot up at that. “It’s nothing personal; she’s never done anything to me.” He lied, “I just never liked her mannerism.”

“She’s not upper class enough for you.” Danny joked, but Martin could still here the sight sneer hidden there.”

“No, it’s hard to explain. It’s like when you meet someone and you just don’t like them.”

“Like when the team first met you.”

Martin felt a small bit of hurt. He always thought their distance from him was just distrust. “Yeah like that.”

“The one time I’m happy and you disapprove.”

“I just…”

“Don’t try…” Danny snapped walking away.

Martin shifted uncomfortably, he could tell people were looking at him no doubt they heard a good portion of the conversation. He sighed going back to what he was supposed to be doing. Maybe he and Danny will make up within the next hour like they always did.


It was a bad case, one of those that stick with you. A missing teen that was abused, was found dead. Beaten bloody after being sold by his, own parents to a prostitution ring. Everyone was shaken up. Jack was comforting Samantha, who was one of the other people working in the missing persons unit, and Danny did the same of Elena.

Martin just finished his report for the case and left, trying to seem as detached from the case as possible.

Sure he found the body, but he was fine. Though normally Danny would drive him home after cases like these, but he wouldn’t since Elena. He missed Danny and how he used to make everything less instance and how he knew that these cases, especially, got to him. But Danny would never pry at the subject. He would comfort him the best he could and Martin would return the favor in time.

His hands were shaking too badly to drive home. He sighed as he stepped on the curve trying to hail a taxi. Oh yeah, the taxi drivers are on strike, and what do you know, it started to rain. And guess who didn’t have an umbrella.

He started walking in the direction of home. Maybe it wasn’t too late to turn around and make up with Danny, and then he would at least have some closer about today. He really didn’t mean to offend Danny, but he did ask for his honest opinion, and if he lied Danny would have known and forced the answer out of him.


“Did Martin leave already?” Danny asked.

“About an hour ago,” Jack answered, “Why?”

“We got into a bit of an argument and he can’t drive right now.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jack interrupted, “What do you mean he can’t drive?”

“These cases really get to him and his hands start to shake so badly he can’t drive.”

“He probably walked home then.”

“He lives up town Jack, that’s a good three hour walk from here.”

‘Well if you normally drive him and he left before you then maybe he just wanted to be by himself.”

“Your right,” Danny sighed trying to relax, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He left the office knowing he should find Martin but he promised to go out with Elena tonight to celebrate their engagement. “Damn it Martin, of all the days…” he sighed yet again, Elena was going to be pissed. “Hey babe,” he smiled dropping a quick kiss on her forehead, “Promise you won’t get mad.”

“What’s going on?” she already had her stuff and was ready to go.

“I have to go do something real quick.”

“It’s Martin related, isn’t it?”


“I swear that man has more problems than…”

“Don’t please, I get the point. I promise I’ll be there but I have to…”

“Just go, but make sure you get there.”

“Have I ever gone back on a promise?”

“If we are counting the times when Martin is involved, than yes, you do.”

“I’ll be there.” He said one last time before grabbing his stuff and heading out the door.


It was raining really hard, and a seven-teen year old Martin Fitzgerald found himself walking the streets of his home town aimlessly. It had been a week since Brian had gone missing and there were still no breaks in the case. People were starting to think that he might have run away, but Martin knew that wasn’t so. Brian wasn’t one of those kids who would just run off.

But the more they looked into it the more it looked into it the more it started to look like he did, in fact, run away. Maybe he should tell his dad what Brian showed him before he disappeared. His dad was the Deputy Director of the FBI so he could help, right?”

He was completely soaked by the point he was starting to shiver badly and his hand were freezing and shaking. ‘Should have brought a jacked,’ he thought, ‘what the…’ There was a lump on the side walk that looked a lot like a body. He approached slowly crouching beside it, “Are you okay?” he shook it gently. If flopped over and he gasped falling back slightly.

Brian. This was Brian. He vomited on himself as the stench hit his nose and he could tell he’d been dead for a few days. But there was still the chance that… “Brian, Brian get up. Please, Brian.” Tears were streaming down his face. “Brian please!”

They told him later that he’d been there for hours trying to shake Brian awake and when he couldn’t come back they sent out a search party and found him passed out by Brian’s body.

That was when he finally told his dad what Brian had told hem. That Brian’s parents were abusing him for years now. And from there the dots connected themselves. In the end it turned out that Brian’s parents had sold him, and though Martin had never been given the details, he knew what that meant.


Martin whole stomach twisted and churned as he emptied its content into the toilet. He panted heavily trying to catch his breath. His clothes were sticking to his body from of mixture of sweat and rain. He collapsed on the tile floor too exhausted, both physically and mentally, to get up and change. Someone called his name but he couldn’t be sure at this point. Reality was starting to mix with memories.


After knocking three times and calling martin’s name four, he just let himself in with the key Martin kept under the door mat. He poked around the apartment still calling for him but got no response, “Martin were are you man.” He was worried now, “Martin!” None of the lights were on so maybe he didn’t make it home yet.

That was when he smelt it. It was like someone threw up and didn’t flush. He turned on the lights in the bathroom to find Martin on the floor, “Martin,” he sighed flushing the toilet and putting the lid down. “Martin,” he shook him a bit, “Come on, you have to get up.” Martin looked up at him eyes glazed over a bit, “You’re awake?”

“Danny?” he whispered somewhat confused.

“Yes, it’s Danny.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you.”

“Oh. I’m fine really, just a little stomach viruses,” he said struggling to sit up.

“I know these cases get to you Martin. You don’t have to pretend in front of me,” he smiled a bit, Marin glanced at Danny sheepishly, then blushed looking back down, “Look I’m sorry about…”

“No, I’m sorry, what I said was out of line and uncalled for and I’m sorry.”

“Martin don’t…”

“Just except the apologize.” Martin interrupted.


“It’ll make me feel better.”

Danny sighed, “Apologize accepted.”

‘Thank you.”

“Come on lets get you to bed,” Danny helped Martin to his feet, and steered him to the bedroom. He sat Martin down on the edge of the bed before rummaging around in the draws to find some sort of pajamas.

“You don’t have to do this,” Martin whispered, “Besides, Elena’s probably waiting for you.”

“I want to make sure you’re okay.”


Danny could practically feel Martin rolling his eyes, “You know Martin, if I did something to you just tell me and…”

“You didn’t do anything.”


“Don’t just…I’m fine alright. You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to…”

“Damn it Martin, just shut up!” Danny yelled. “I wanted to help you; I’m not here because someone made me. I want to help you but I can’t if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“Sorry,” Martin whispered, “It’s just…I don’t like talking about it.”

“I get that,” Danny sighed, ‘Put these on,” he handed Martin a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants, “Call me when you’re done.”

Martin sighed, he liked having Danny around but he hated the feeling that he was keeping him from other people. That, and having Danny here, taking care of him, like there was no place he rather be, left him with false hope. “I’m done,” he said.

“Good get into bed.”

“You don’t have to tuck me in.”

“I just want to make sure you make it to bed.”

“Fine,” Martin laid down pulling the covers around him, “Happy?”

“Very, get some sleep alright?”

“Yes mother,” Martin rolled his eyes.

“I’ll check on you in the morning.”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I will.”


“You made it!” Elena sounded genially surprised.

“I said I would, why I. wouldn’t” he kissed her smiling.

“When it comes to Martin, you usually call to say you can’t make it.”

“Sorry,” he down across from her, “You look really serious, what’s wrong?”

“It’s just, after I said yes I started thinking, and I realized something. That when ever it comes down to you being with me or Martin, he always comes first.”

“That’s not true.”

“Danny, think about it for a little bit and you’ll see what I mean. I love you Danny, I really do, but, I think you have someone more important in your life than me.”

“What? Martin and I aren’t…”

“That’s not what it looks like from my end.”


“I’m sorry Danny.” and with that, she left.

Martin awoke with a jump. Someone had just slammed his door shut and he could only guess that it was Danny. He looked at the clock and it read one am. He pushed himself out of bed and lightly padded into the living room. Sure enough, there Danny was, sitting on his couch with his heads in his hands, “Are you okay?”

Danny’s head snapped up, “Yeah I’m fine.”

“You don’t look it,” Martin sat down next to him.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s Elena again isn’t it?”

“How did you…”

“Since you got together with her, every time there’s wrong, it’s been her.”

“She gave the ring back to me,” Danny confessed, “She thinks I’m committed to someone else.”

“Are you?”


“Did she say a name?” Marin was hoping he wasn’t the reason for their break up.

“It’s mot important.”

“At least you know that there’s a good chance you’ll get back together.

“Maybe, she might not want to. It feels like she’s just been jerking me around just to get what she wants.”

“Which would be?”

“I don’t know.” Danny sank into the couch, “Why do you not like her.” He suddenly asked.

“I don’t think this will…”


“I know she told you already,” Martin sighed, “about what happened after I hurt my hip.”

“She said you guys got into an argument but she never said what it was about.”

“She called me a f**.”

“What?” Danny squeaked. It wasn’t news that Martin was ga y. He came out to the a while ago and as a courtesy they told Elena when she joined.

“I guess you guys really hit it off while I was gone the first time, after I got shot. And when I came back and hurt my hip you never left my side. She saw me as a threat, called me the f word and told me to back off.”

“She thought you liked me?”

“Apparently so.”

Danny chortled a little, “I don’t get how anyone thinks were together. Really could you imagine that, it would never work?” he looked over to see what Martins reaction was only to see Martin kind of staring off into space, “You heard me right.”

“Hm,” Martin snapped back into reality, “Sorry I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Forget it, it wasn’t even important.”

Martin sighed leaning his head on Danny’s shoulder like he always did when he and Danny fell asleep on the couch, then brought his legs up to curl into a ball. “Goodnight Danny.”

“Night Martin.”


“Why are you giving me the pity eyes?” Danny asked when he was the look that Sam was giving him.

“It’s nothing,” she said simple, “Did Martin catch a ride with you to work today.”

“Yeah, he left his truck here last night so I gave him a lift, why?”

“No reason.”


“How’d things go with Elena last night?”

“I know she probably already told you what happened.”

“And you told Martin?”

“What does one have to do with the other?”

Sam sighed in frustration, “What do you think, it doesn’t take a rocked scientist to figure out your cheating on Elena with…”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I never cheated on Elena especially not with Martin.”

Sam raised a brow looking more passed Danny’s head then at him, “Then I guess you can say this is my fault.”


“I pointed a few things out to Elena…”


“I don’t see it.” Elena said.

“Do you see how close they’re standing?”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Look, there’s something going on between them, I can’t say I know exactly what it is but whatever it is they doth take it really seriously.”

“Sam just because Martin broke up with you…”

“It’s not that,” she dropped her voice when she saw Martin was about to speak, “Shhh, just listen.”

“Where were you?” Martin asked his voice low as they were having a private conversation.

“Stuff came up.” Danny answered.


“You could of called or something.”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“Promise,” Martin looked up at him, eyes shining with what looked like unshed tears.

Danny took Martin’s hand in his, “Promise.”

“See what I mean.” Sam said.

“They’re just good friends.” Elena protested, though she didn’t sound as if she believed herself.

“Elena, during your dates with Danny by the end of the night where does he end up?”

Elena paused for a second to think, “He leaves early to be with, Martin.”

“On your anniversary, he makes sure to spend a good two hours with you, then where does he go?”

“Martin’s place.”

“After a bad case instead of seeking solstice from you, his girlfriend, where does he go?”


“Your birthday he suddenly gets a call from.”


“Any holiday you can think of he was with?”


“Danny refused to move in with you but where does he have a spare of everything?”

“I get the point.”

“If it makes you fell any better I don’t even think they realize it.”

“How did I not see this…?”

“I asked myself the same question, I didn’t start to realize this until I was sitting with Martin and he looked really spaced out even though I was talking to him. So I followed his eyes and saw he was looking at Danny, but it took me about a week of having to do that in order to catch on.”


“I broke it off after that. He didn’t brake up with me,” She added, “He seemed kind of relived. I’m telling you this because I don’t want the same thing that happened to me to happen to you. Just think about it.”

“Sam!” Danny all but yelled, “How could you?”

“If you could see what it looks like from the outside you would think the same thing too.”

“Listen closely Sam, I’m. Not. Dating. Martin. I will never date Martin, even if I was gay. Sam was looking past his head as if she wasn’t listening. “We’re friends and nothing more. Besides, Elena and I aren’t together anymore.”


“Elena.” Danny caught up with her.

“Oh, hey Danny.” She smiled.

“Did you call Martin a…”

“Before you go on, yes I didn’t but I was just really peeved off that day and I apologized ten minutes later because I felt really bad about it. But things have never been right with us since.”

“I see.”

“You know what’s funny,” she smiled, “That our relationship is on the line and you’re concerned about Martin.” She laughed bitterly

“It’s not like that.”

“Forget it,” Elena put her hands up in defeat, “It’s over Danny.”


Danny avoided Martin the rest of the day. He needed time to think about everything. He knew he was bi-sexual, to him gender didn’t matter as much as personality. Sure Martin was nice, funny, good looking and his best friend. But he didn’t want a relationship with him. He liked the set up they had, hanging out, sleeping over, ordering take out, and spending the holidays…

He froze momentarily, finally understanding what the girls were talking about, it did sound like they were dating. What if he was sending Martin the wrong signals?


The author's comments:
Chapter two, i thing i might of gotten some of the events mixed up, but please bear with me. Tell me what you think good or bad.

He accidently breather in and water filled his nostrils and mouth cutting off his air was, causing him to cough and sputter. Martin pulled his face from his hands and turned off the water. Then grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser to dry his face. His breathing was slightly labored as he tried to hold himself together.

Danny didn’t have feelings for him. Sure, he already knew this, but hearing him say it with such vigor hurt all the same. He knew he would eventually have to get over him. This wasn’t the first time he had a crush on a straight guy. But the way Danny said it, like he was disgusted with the idea of him.

He knew he had to go back out there soon or people would start to wonder were he was or worse, Danny would ask him what was wrong and he always got an answer out of him and if he told Danny… he could only imagine the damage it would do to their friendship.

He sighed leaving to his desk. What troubled him the most was that Danny was trying not to look at him. Maybe he finally put two and two together and decided that hr didn’t want anything to do with him. Or he was trying to detach so him and Elena could get back together.

Sam was looking at hr though, like she knew something. He would ask but, they haven’t really talked since they broke up. And when he came out to the team things only got worse. He knew he was gay the whole time they dated, but people had been asking question a few months after he started working here.

That’s how the rumors started; the whole building thought he was gay. Even though not dating has nothing to do with one’s sexual orientation. And he didn’t want these rumors to get back to his father, who is the Deputy Director of the FBI. So he took the easy way out when he asked Sam out. She was perfect, blond hair, blue eyes, smart, he liked her company, and better still, his dad approved of her.

A few weeks in things started to go downhill. Sam never out and out said it, but he could tell she was figuring out what was really going on. But she stuck around anyway. They didn’t have the typical relationship, they never even kissed.

But finally Sam had enough and broke it off, saying she couldn’t keep living a lie and neither should he. He knew what she meant and that’s what caused him to come out a month later.

He had to admit, he did miss her company. She was one of the few people he could almost be himself with. She would drag him on shopping trips; make him get a manicure and a pedicure. He, of course would pretend to hate it, and at first he did. Having never indulged in things such as this, he did find it relaxing, taking your time though out the day.

He sighed; maybe he should talk to her again and try to clear the air. He sank into his chair looking at the computer. He was supposed to be putting old cases into the data base, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. He glanced at Jack’s office to see him watching the office though his glass wall. He could tell that Jack knew something was going on. When the newest case came in he sent Danny out with Sam and Elena went with Jack leaving Martin and Vivian in the office.

“What’s wrong?” Vivian asked.

“Nothing, I’m just tired.”

“I swear you, Danny, Sam, and Elena are like four teenagers.”

Martin stayed silent pretending to watch the computer. He wasn’t on the case today nor was Vivian but they were still on call just incase.

“Martin if you don’t talk about it, things will only get worse.”

“Elena and Danny broke up.”


“I don’t know, he hasn’t talked to me since then, I think he’s avoiding me. And I need to apologize to Sam; we haven’t spoken in a while.”

“All of your bridges are crumbling down.”

“I feel like he’s blaming me for what happened. I think he hates me.” He looked up at her as if asking for advice.

“Danny probably just upset right now, just give him time.”

“You’re right,” he sighed, “Anyone would be broken up about this. I thought she would say yes and stay with him but…”

“They’ll figure things out on there own.”

“What if it is my fault? Everyone knows I’m gay and they think I have a thing for Danny and we’re always with each other. It would look lie were together. And Sam knows I like him,” he sighed in frustration, “But I know better than to think that something could happen between us, I would purposely push him to be with Elena. Even if I couldn’t have him I wanted him to be happy.”

“What do you mean, push?”

“Like on the holidays when he was with me I would tell him to go with Elena, or on his anniversary, anything significant he was with me instead of her. Je kept saying he didn’t want me to be alone. Part of me wanted him to stay but I didn’t want to give myself false hope,” he sighed again, “You know, when I was in high school and I would come home with bruise before my dad would always tell me that things get better. And it has, but id doesn’t seem any easier.”

“Once you get over this little crush of yours it will.” She patted him on the head.

Martin rolled his eyes a bit, “I hope they get back together. You should see the look on his face when he talks about her, “he mused more to himself than to Vivian.

“I don’t think that’s what you’re hoping for.”


“I’m sorry,” Sam finally said, she and Danny were heading back form talking with the family of their missing person, “I shouldn’t have said anything without knowing what was really going on.”

“No, it’s fine. I get what everyone is saying. It does look like something is going on between us. Even Martin mentioned it once or twice when we were hanging out.”

“What are you saying?”

“I needed to prioritize. Martin is my friend but I want a future with Elena.” His voice wavered a bit.”


“He’s so lonely and whenever I push him to the way side to be with Elena, he gets this look, it’s only for a split second but it gets to you. He doesn’t have any other friends besides us. And on top of that his family outcast him.”

Sam just nodded, “I get that. When we were dating I could just sense his neediness. Like that time he asked if I wanted to stay the night. I thought he meant something else entirely,” she blushed, “I mean we did share a bed but we just cuddled and talked a bit before we fell asleep, I think he just need someone he can lean on.”

“You don’t know how much turmoil he has inside of him…”

“Danny you know you can’t fix him unless he wants to help himself.”

“I know that.”

“No, you don’t. Martin doesn’t think that there’s anything wrong with him. I don’t think he always comprehends the stuff that goes on around him. After a back case it’s like he shuts down and becomes a stone wall. You can’t get any emotion out of him.”

“He doesn’t like to break down in the office, when he gets home that’s one thing but he doesn’t want people to think he’s weak.” Danny said, though he couldn’t help but think that those ideals have something to with Martin’s father.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Sam said, “There’s something more to this then either of us know. You can just tell there’s something he hasn’t been able to tell us yet.”

“Or wont,”

“Same difference, he can’t tell us because he doesn’t want to.”
“He has a right to privacy you know. If he won’t tell you then don’t pry. He’ll come to us when he comes to us. Till then I’m more focused on how to deal with the whole Elena thing. I’m going to get her back.” That last part was more so said to himself. He needed to get Elena back to prove… he wasn’t sure yet but whatever that reason was, was the reason he needed he.”
Sam was quiet. She if anyone knew the best what was going on. Danny liked Martin but didn’t want to admit that he was bi or gay or…whatever, the point is he has a thing for Martin. And Martin didn’t know that Danny liked him and thought that Danny was going to be with Elena thus he pushed Danny away because he didn’t want to hold him back for his own selfish reason. And as for Elena, it was almost painfully obvious that wasn’t planning on getting back together with Danny. She sighed again; maybe someone should tell the two parties what was going on? If they both knew the full story…thing could be different.


If there was one thing Martin hated about when teenagers went missing it was that it was hard to tell weather or not they were in trouble or if they just decided to run away. And it seemed like Jerry Thomson, the person they were looking for all day, had just run away and after a few hours on his own decided that he missed his parents and came back home. In short, a whole day wasted.

Oh well, at least the kid was safe and had a bit of common sense. Martin turned off his computer and grabbed his stuff. It was time to punch out and he wanted to get home before he was called at some ungodly hour for a new case.

“You’re heading out already?” Danny asked skeptically, normally Martin stayed later than the Janitor and Danny was pretty sure that Martin secretly lived here.”

“Yeah, I actually want to get some sleep today. Why?” Martin asked tiredly, he was ready to collapse from both physical and emotional exhaustion.

“You doing anything later, we should hang out after work?” Danny smiled hopefully.

“No, not today. I thought you and Elena…”

“I just talked to her and she out and out told me to move on,” he looked across the room to were Elena was, trying to ignore their conversation, “I just can’t be who she needs me to be.” He saw Martin’s face scrunch in concern, “It was a somewhat neutral break up, don’t worry.”

“I really thought you two were going to get married,” Martin said simply, “I was really looking forward to the wedding.”

Danny shrugged, “I’m a free man now Martin. When was the last time we went to a club?”

“We hardly ever went to begin with. We say we will and just end up hanging out at my place.” Martin blushed a bit. He was slightly embarrassed; it had been a long time since he had Danny’s undivided attention.

“Fine we can go to my place this time, so if you pass out there will at least be a comfortable couch to sleep on. Come on, when was the last time we hung out together just to hang out.”

Martin sighed biting at his lip nervously, “Call me when you get in and I’ll come over.”

“Deal,” Danny gave him the thumbs up, “I’ll see you then.”

Martin waved one more time before leaving the office. He found himself banging his head into the wall as he waited for the elevator. “You alright?” his head snapped up at hearing Sam’s voice.

“Y-yeah, just peachy, why?” he threw her a fake smile.

“You look stressed.” Sam noted.

“I’m fine.” The elevator arrived and they both stepped in.

“I over heard you and Danny making plans to hang out later.”


“That’s good,” she said as if to herself.

“I’m sorry,” Martin said suddenly.

“About what?”

“Everything,” they both knew what he meant, “And I shouldn’t have cut you off after everything was said and done. You were just trying to help.”

“It’s fine Martin,” they were exiting the elevator, “You needed time to figure things out I understand that.”

“There’s still no excuse for what I did. I could have at least stayed in touch, but I pushed you away,” he sighed ashamed of himself, “And I want to make it up to you,”

Sam patted Martin’s head playfully, “Don’t beat yourself up over it,” She smiled, “If you really want to male it up to me, you’ll go shopping with me this weekend,” she declared, “And go to the spa, and grab something to eat and then go to that new dance club that opened up. You’re paying by the way.”

Martin laughed a bit, “Okay,” he agreed, “Wait when you say that new place you don’t mean that…”

“Bye Marty,” Sam was all but sprinting to her car before Marin could finish the question, and he couldn’t help but grin. He knew what she was doing and silently thanked him for it. He watched her drive away, then headed for his own truck and started home. He almost forget that Danny would be calling for him to come over sometime soon

Vivian was right he needed to get over this little crush of his. Once he no longer needed to constantly be around Danny or always have his attention or his approval, things would be a lot better for him. He was so caught up in his thoughts he didn’t realize when he got home till he put his key in the door. He sighed yet again; he really needed to start paying more attention to his surroundings

He got some left over’s out of the fridge and put it in the microwave for a bit. While he waited for that to be done he threw off his coat and suit jacket and loosened his tie. He changed quickly into a red t-shirt and faded blue jeans, just to be comfortable.

By the time he got back to the kitchen the microwave was done. Taking his food out, he grabbed a fork and headed for his living room, plopping himself on the couch. Maybe he should just tell Danny that he can’t make it. But the last thing he wanted was for Danny to think that he didn’t want to spend time with him, He did, but maybe, hanging out with him wasn’t the healthiest thing to do at this time. Why did life have to be so difficult, he thought as he finished his food.

‘I shouldn’t go, he’s single right now and it would just be giving myself false hope. Yeah, I’m going to tell him I can’t make it.

Then as if one que, the phone rang.

The author's comments:
It may seem like Martin is overly emtional in this chapter and that he's having a lot mood swings, but trust me it will all come together in the end. And sorry, to anyone who was waiting for me to update, for taking so long to post. Tell me what you think good or bad I want to know.

Martin wanted to bang his head against something. He was so set on saying no, then he heard Danny’s voice and now he was with Danny at the club. He sighed quietly as he listened to Danny talk about some girl across the bar that as he put it, was “cute”. And Martin had to admit, he could see why he thought that. She had green eyed, red hair and freckles, he cheeks were kind of plump but no in a fat way.

But still, he tried to figure out why he was torturing himself, sitting here a listening to Danny talk about this girl when all he wanted was for Danny to look at him the way he looked at her, “I should have stayed home.”

“What’s up?” Danny asked, “Normally you’re a little chatter box and today your just silent.”

“I think I’m going to call it a night,” Martin stretched tiredly.

“We just got here.”

“I said I was tired before, besides, I think you said something about a red head,” Martin smirked, “Have fun, I’ll just catch a cab.”

Danny nodded, “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

I know what you’re thinking, if they were supposed to be hanging out at Danny’s house how did they end up at a club. Well, they were at Danny’s place till he sweet talked Martin into going to said club.

Martin groaned once he realized that the taxi drivers were still on strike, it was too late for the buses or the subways to be running, and Danny drove him here. Great, now he had to walk…again, Or… He pulled out his phone, “Hey Sam…”

“What?” She groaned, he probably woke her up.

“I’m sorry were you asleep?”

“No, couldn’t sleep I’ve been up watching really stupid T.V. What do you need?”

“I’m kind of stranded…”

“Were are you?” he could hear the jingling of her keys, “I’ll pick you up.”


“I swear you have no back bone,” Sam shook he head as she drove Martin home, “So what, he gives you doe eyes and you go with whatever he says?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Martin, you don’t see yourself, you swoon.”

“I do not.”

“Yes, you do. He starts talking and you look up all glossy eyed, ‘yes Danny, okay Danny’ really Martin, you need to grow a spine.”

“Can we just drop the subject, please?” he asked.

“Sure,” They fell silent, “I really want the taxi drivers to end their strike. The union just needs to find a way to pursue the government to pay them more. I’ll help them personally.” Marin held back a laugh, he could imagine her holding up the meeting till the government signed the agreement. “I hate having to drive.” She groaned as they stopped at a stop sign, “It’s one thing in a high speed chase, but actually having to follow all of these little rules, and I can’t put on my police lights without Jack finding out and suspending me!”

“If you want we can switch places and I can drive.” He shrugged.

“No, I’ll still have to drive back,” she sighed pulling up to Martin’s place, “Promise me you won’t stay so hung up on him to point that if you were to meet someone else you wouldn’t be able to move on. Promise me you’ll be able to let him go.”

“Sam I just said I didn’t want to talk about this…”

“Promise me,” she cut him off, “Unless there is something going on between you guys that I don’t know about, and I know there isn’t,” she said, “What’s going on between you guys is not healthy for you. I think he knows what he’s doing and…just promise me.”

“I promise,” Martin said, “Do you really think he knows?”

“How could he not, like I said before you swoon.”

Martin rolled his eyes playfully, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine alright.”

“No, I’m still going to watch out for you. I don’t think you know how breakable you are. And if Danny does do anything I’ll be there with a baseball bat and tool kit to wreck his car. That way we can sell the parts for cash and then go on a shopping spree.” She gave him an evil grin.

“You know I love you right?”

“Of course, now come here and give me hug,” they embarrassed, “seriously though, if he does something I won’t hesitate to kill him,” she said in a more aggressive tone.

“You won’t have to,” he pulled out of the hug, “Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem,” she watched him get out and walk up to the building waiting till he went inside and she was him pass the window in the hall by his apartment.

She sighed; she was going to have to kill Danny.


Danny squirmed a bit in his seat. Sam was glaring at him again, and the time he was really scared. She had this “I’ll kill you” ora coming of her and everyone else seemed oblivious to it, He looked up and his eyes locked. Her usually playful blue eyes were ice cold. He let out an “eep” by accident. He needed to act brave. But Sam could smell his fear.

He put on his brave face and smiled at her, “What’s up Sam,” she just kept glaring at him, “If I did something to upset you I’m sorry, please, stop glaring at me. You’re scaring me.” He admitted.

“What are you intentions with Martin,” Sam asked.

“I already told you that I’m not into him.”

“Really,” Sam was slowly walking closer to Danny, “Because if this is true,” her voice was low, almost a growl, “them maybe, just maybe, you should stop sending mixed signals. Let him be, you know as well as I do that what you’re doing is not helping him.”

“I’m not doing anything Sam, we’ve just been hanging out,” he said trying to defend himself, “He knows that I don’t like him. We both know.”

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”

“What’s going on,” Elena asked as she popped in. She got the sense that something important was going on she just didn’t know what. All she knew was that Sam looked like she was going to kill Danny who looked like he was doing some sort of prayer. “Sam I don’t know what Danny did,” ignoring the, I didn’t do anything, from Danny, “But you can’t kill him here, there are to many cameras and witnesses.” She joked.

“He’s flirting with Martin even though he said that he has on interest in him.” Sam explained.

Elena looked at him incredulously, “Danny denial is the worst thing. I don’t think you should be underneath him like this, You guys need some space from each other as you try and figure things out for yourself.”

Danny slouched in the chair, “I don’t like him,” he mumbled. He knew that there was something between them wither or not it was from his end or Martin’s he was really sure anymore.

“He’s like a little kid,” Elena smirked, “Just don’t do anything stupid,” she waved before walking to her desk.

“I’m going to do anything stupid; actually I’m not going to do anything. I don’t like him and I never will. I don’t know what kind of sick fantasies you guys have going on in that sick and twisted little word of yours but it’s not going to happen. Not now, not ever…”

“I get the point,” Sam snapped angrily and Danny chalked it up to Sam being mad me was right until… “Martin wait,” she disappeared around the corner. That meant Martin had been standing there the whole time and heard everything.

“S***,” he thought, “How long had he been there?” Sam took off down the hallway were he was guessing Martin was, “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he muttered to himself. All he could do is wait till things settled down before hr tried to explain what he meant.


“Disgusting?” Martin said to himself, then to Sam, “DO you think he means in general the fact that I’m gay. I know a lot of people tolerate it but really just think that…”

“Martin, calm down,” Sam soother, “I don’t think he meant it the way it sounded.”

“He’s one of my best friends Sam. Even if we don’t get together…I don’t want to lose our friendship,” he slouched against the wall.

“Martin, he didn’t mean it the way it sounded. He was just trying to get us off his back because we were teasing him. He doesn’t hate you I promise,” she reassured, but he just looked at her trying to figure out weather or not she was lying. “This has something to do with what happened last night doesn’t it?” she asked. Martin didn’t answer, “What happened Martin?”

“Marin sighed pushing himself off the wall, “I’m fine, I just need some space, I’ll get over it,” he smiled a bit, “Besides we have missing people to find.”


Martin allowed himself to smile a bit. They found a missing seven year old girl while they were looking for a teenage boy. Apparently both had been kidnapped, Jason, the teenage boy was abducted sometime to day. And Molly, the little girl, was taken from her room two years ago, but after a week of trying to find her they could no longer classify the case as priority and had to move on. They never stopped looking for her though.

But they found her by accident, unharmed, and clean. “We’ve been looking for you for a long time,” Martin said as he picked her up to take her from the building and back to the office so they could contact her family. She didn’t say anything until they got to the office and she started to cry for her mommy and daddy, but stopped when she looked down the hallway and saw her parents all but running towards them. They were hugging and crying looking like the family they once were.

Watching them reminded him of why he signed up for the Missing Person’s Unit to begin with. They said they’re thank you and left, leaving the room with a lighter feeling than it usually had.

“Good job guys,” Jack said, “I’m letting you all go home early today. So don’t worry about the paper work, it can wait until tomorrow.”

“It’s Friday Jack. We don’t have to come back till Monday.” Danny reminded him.

“Fine, then your paper work can wait till Monday. Have a good weekend guys!”

“You too Jack,” Danny turned to get his things. ‘I should say something to Martin’ he thought. He wanted to talk to him but he didn’t know how to. If there was one thing he learned it was that after the conversation that happened earlier he had to tread lightly. “Apologize first, ask him if he wants to get something to eat then explain what’s been going on. That could work,’ he told himself. But then he looked across the room and saw Martin talking with Sam. Something flared inside of him, he couldn’t figure out why. Part of him was happy that Martin wasn’t upset anymore and the other part was mad that he was receiving comfort from Sam and not him.

That may sound weird to anyone else, but him and Martin had this thing going on when they were the only ones to understand one another. Even when Martin was dating Sam he would always talk to Danny. He watched scornfully fir a few seconds before feeling bad about it, Martin was finally healing enough to talk with other people he felt he could trust, that was a good thing.

Sam said her goodbye to everyone as she left. Martin ambled back over to his desk which just happened to be across from Danny’s casting the other man a shy smile. Danny cleared his throat before he started to talk, “I see you and Sam are staring to get along again,” It wasn’t meant to sound that spiteful.

“Yeah we made up,” Martin said simply.

“That’s good,” Danny kept his voice even, “I’m sorry about last night and what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it to come out so harshly, but the girls were harassing me and I only said what I knew would get them to back off.

“I know, it’s okay,” Martin gave him a true smile.

“Seriously though, what is going on between you and Sam?”

“I told you already we made up,” he shrugged, “We are hanging out on Saturday, if that’s what you’re trying to get at. It’s not like it’s cutting into the time when we hang out.”

“I was just curious. What are you doing tonight because I was thinking of getting something to eat and then probably heading back to your place?”

Martin gave him a look. The arrangement sounded too much like a date and, “Why are we almost always at my place?”

“Your couch is way better besides that sweat little old lady across the hall from you is always bringing over backed goods.”

“It’s only because I look like her dead son.”


“I know, once I found out it was a bit of a kill joy. She makes these ‘nutty brownies’ but I don’t like nuts. But they were her sons’ favorite so every time she brings the over I suck it up and pretend to love them.”

“Those are some pretty great length to keep and old lady happy.”

“You should treat people in the sunrise and sunset of there lives with more respect than others,” Martin said, “Did you drive here today or take the train or taxi.”

“I took the train. Good thing you drove that rinky dinky truck of yours,” he joked elbowing Martin lightly in the ribs.

“It still runs,” Martin scowled trying to defend his truck, “I had that truck since I was sixteen.”

“Whatever you say Martin,” he shook his head earning a blush and a glare from Martin. They left picking up a pizza on the way in. the drive was silent and Danny couldn’t help but feel as he was getting the silent treatment for some reason. Or Martin was thinking himself in circles like he tended to do when he get anxious. Btu Martin looked liked he was close to tears. Eyes glistening and lips quivering ever so slightly, “Marin what’s wrong?” he couldn’t take seeing him like this.

“It’s too complicated to explain,” he cleared his throat so Danny couldn’t hear him about to break, “Don’t worry about it.” He smiled waving it off when he saw the look on Danny’s face.

“Martin,” he grasped the hand that wasn’t on the wheel, feeling it twitch at his touch, “If you need me I’m here for you, you know that don’t you.”

“I know Danny.” Martin sighed, “And if it gets to that point I’ll tell you but this is something I have to do on my own alright?” he looked at Danny hopefully, who nodded excepting the answer given.

“Just don’t have a repeat of last time,” he pleaded, “If you get overwhelmed…”

“I’ll tell you.”

The author's comments:
Sorry this took so long. It's come to my attention that I have a few fans. Everytime I update I get ten more view, and it would be really nice if those ten people could give me some sort of feedback. Please and thank you :):)

“Try this on,” Sam threw a pair of jeans at Martin.

“Why so much glitter?” Martin asked, “I’m not that gay.”

“Just do it.” Martin sighed closing the changing room door to try on yet another article of clothing. This is what he hated about shopping, “Stop whining.” Sam said as if hearing Martin’s inner complaints.

“I’m not whining,” he stepped out of the room and turned as Sam instructed, “What do you think?”

“I think you should get them, but my opinion isn’t as important as what you want.” She turned him by his shoulders making him face the mirror.

“No, I’m not getting them,” he decided, he didn’t know why she asked, he didn’t like them to begin with, “I hate glitter.

“The rainbow boa in your closet says other wise.”

“I got that when I was fifth-teen.”

“And there is still a fabulous fifth-teen year old just waiting to burst out and be himself. You and I both know you’re “gayer” then you like to let on.

Martin stiffened a bit. It was true that he wasn’t as open about his sexuality as he would have liked. He told his dad that he was gay and his dad had accepted it, even defended him when he had to. His dad was proud because event though his son like men he still managed to keep his masculinity about him. This scared Martin. He was scared to be his true self in front of anyone because his dad might reject him if he knew the truth. “I’m not getting the pants Sam.”

“You’re so stubborn,” she sighed when the curtain to the changing room was pulled and the pants were handed to her to hang back up. “You’re out of the closet but you’re still living like you’re in one, but this time there’s a lock on the inside that you can chose to undo but won’t.” she paused seeing that Martin had slipped out of the changing room without her notice and was pretending to search through the racks of clothes, ignoring her, “Martin…”

“This is who I am Sam,” he said, “I’m sorry if I don’t live up to your standards of “you’re best gay friend” but this is me.”

“Fine Mr. I only wear jeans and T-shirts,” she huffed playfully, “what about this?” she pulled out a shirt that say, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is.”

“No,” he shook his head

“It’s not an everyday shirt, something to wear to the club or something,” she nudged his rib with his elbow.


“What if I found it in purple…”

“Maybe, but I’m not making any promises,” he said not really intending to buy the shirt but he knew it would make her shut up about it. “Why can’t I just wear something I already have at home?”

“Because, you promised me a shopping trip.”

“Then why don’t we go shopping for you instead of trying to stick me into something ridicules.”

“Fine,” Sam huffed pouting.


The rest of the day went smoothly, Sam never did succeed with getting Martin to wear or buy anything that she picked out for him, they stopped for lunch at near buy diner before they ended up back at Martin’s place. “You’re sure you don’t plan on taking me to a place like last time?” Martin asked as he fished for the key to his door, he was refereeing to the last time that that Sam had talked him into one of there many miss adventures.

“It’s not my fault that you’re so hot everyone wants you, maybe you should try toning in down,” she smirked remembering how both men and women tried to pick Martin up that night.

“That’s besides the point,” he finally got the door open carrying Sam’s bags in for her and setting them down in the living room by the couch, “People only act like that because the atmosphere allows them to, if it had been a more upscale place that wouldn’t have happened.”

“That’s why I did a bit more research into the place were going this time, It’s called Rainbows and…”

“Rainbows, I go there all the time.” Martin nodded his approval.

“All the time?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“Not all the time but on week nights it more of a bar and on Saturdays it turns into a club of some sort. They bring in local aspiring DJ’s to do the music and stuff.”

“You go there all the time by yourself?”

Marin sighed, “Okay, all the time was the wrong chose of words, but yes I’ve been there before.”

“Do you go there to pick guys out or just hang out?”

“That’s really none of your business, but if you must know I only stop by when I get stuck walking home and need a drink of water on the way home or if Zeek ask me to stop by.”

“Who’s Zeek?”

“An old college friend, he works there so…”

“I see,” Sam cut him off.

“I know what you’re thinking I can tell you that I’m not dating him and I have no interest in him at all. Nor does he like me.”

“No need to get all defensive,” Sam said ideally going through her bag to find something to wear, “You should get dressed to, so we don’t have to worry about a line.”

“There’s never a line, I told you Rainbows isn’t like that.”

“Fine, fine what ever, I do want to get there before the hour of ten though.”

“Why are you in a hurry we have all night?”

Sam gave him a look of utter frustration; just go get dressed so we can leave.”

“Fine,” he did a fake sigh of annoyance. Walking into his room and closing the door for privacy. He rifled though his closet grabbing a random blue t-shirt and a random pain of jeans to go with a random pair of shoes. He changed quickly to come back to the living room to find Sam struggling to zip up her dress in the back. Martin shook his head trying not to laugh as he did it for him.

“Are you ready to go?” she turned around beaming up at him. Martin didn’t miss that look on her face, she was up to something and he had a feeling he didn’t want to know what it was.

“Just let me grab my keys.”


The place was slightly crowed, just enough so you might bump elbows with someone every now and again. The music that was playing was loud enough you could hear it but low enough you could talk to the person next to you without yelling. “This is nice,” Sam said.

“You’ve never been here before?” Martin raised a brow. “I thought you said that you scoped this place out before hand.”

“I kind of did and I kind of didn’t,” she explained with out looking at him because she was to busy waving someone over. That’s when Martin knew.

“You set me up.”

“What no,” before she could finish what she was going to say the guy was there, “Hey Trevor this is Marin he’s the friend I’ve been telling you about.” Martin gave a curt nod giving Trevor the once over. He had brown hair and matching eyes, his face was friendly along with his over all dispositions, “Don’t be rude Martin,” Sam snapped at him, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Sorry,” he said meekly not really feeling apologetic. If Sam was going to try to hook him up with one of her friends she could of said something first.

“He’s been having a bad week,” Sam mumbled to Trevor thinking Martin couldn’t hear her.

Trevor nodded understandingly, “If this is a bad time then maybe we talk at another time.”

Martin froze; did this guy just ask him on a date? He wanted to say no so badly but Sam was grinning from ear to ear trying to coach him on. “No, it’s fine.”

“Samantha tells me you work in law enforcement.”

“Yes I do.”

“That’s cool; I’m still a cadet in training. What division do you work in?”

“I’m in the Missing Persons Unit of the FBI along with Sam.”

“That’s where they said they plan in putting me. You work in New York right?”

“Yes.” Martin didn’t like were this was going.

“So we could end up being partners.” Trevor said and Martin didn’t miss the play on words. Martin couldn’t say he didn’t like the guy, he was just mad that Sam tried to set him up without telling him, and sometime during the night she disappeared to the other end of the bar.

Turns out that Trevor was the son of the Director of the FBI, which was ironic. It did give them a few similarities and soon realized that they had seen each other on more than a few occasions, and from there they hit it off.


“You seem happier than normal.” Danny stated in the office on Monday.

Martin just shrugged not really wanting to give Danny all of the details of the events that transpired over the weekend, “I actually slept,” That part wasn’t a lie. He had found sleep coming to him a lot easier to him in the past few days.

“I take it you’re not going to tell me then.”

“Later,” Martin answered curtly.

Danny accepted the answer and wandered across the room to where Samantha was, “What happened?”

`”He’s happy, does it matter what happened.”

“I just find it weird that after you guys make up you go on a “day out” which sounds an awful a lot like a date. And then he comes back sated.”

“First of all, you know he’s gay, nothing is going on between us and second of all it’s really none of your business.”

Danny sighed, “You’re right I’ll leave it alone,” he went back to his desk trying to ignore the feeling that something bad was going to happen, but he couldn’t be sure because he didn’t know enough about the situation. Though if he was to ask Martin when Samantha wasn’t there he was sure he would get an answer.


Martin really didn’t want to contend with anyone in the office today. It was like everyone wanted to know every little thing that was going on with in the past few days. It was preferable to when he first joined and all they wanted was to find something on him to get him fired, but this was ridicules. Samantha tried to be some sort of barrier and that just made thing ten times worse because now they really thought he was hiding something. So he decided to just be the bigger person and ignore them.
Around lunch time he decided to go to the break room to get another cup of coffee. Sadly some simple minded person took the last cup and didn’t think to make another pot. He sighed pulling out this the things he needed and waited for the coffee maker to finish doing its job. He prayed that the thing would magically work faster today. He could see the people starting to swarm, trying not to look like they were coming into the room to start asking questions.
“Hey,” Danny was the first person to enter, his presence stopping everyone else from coming in, “What’s up?”
“The ceiling,” Martin answered, not really up for a conversation.
“I’m just here to keep the flies away,” Danny said smugly, “But if we don’t even look like we’re talking they’re going to come in anyway.”
Martin sighed knowing it was true but he also knew Danny was trying to get the same information that everyone else was trying to get, “I’m not telling you about what I did this weekend, at least not here.”
“I know that,” Danny said, “I’m just worried that… the last time you were this happy you were on those pills and…”
“It’s not that,” Martin sighed remembering the days he was on the pain medications all too clearly. He didn’t mean to become an addict, no one does. At first he was only taking them as needed for his hip pain. Things were going smoothly till he was told that Elena would be staying on the team, she was soon taking his place in the field and with his friends. Danny was able to figure out what was going on pretty quickly and confronted Martin, “I know the signs of an addict Martin.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Martin had said back.
“Things will only get worse if you continue like this. Trust me I’ve been there I can help you,” that only received a snort form Martin, “When you want help come find me.”
It wasn’t long till he did seek Danny’s help out. It was after he stole a bottle of pills from a victims house that he knew he had a problem. But he did manage to get home with them, even taken some. Then he found himself sweating and shaking from taking to many. That was when he called Danny asking him to help.
All he got was the voice mail. That was what pushed him over the edge as he took more and more till he was a convulsing vomiting mess on the floor. Danny was probably out with Elena glad that Martin was finally going to do himself in and not have to be bothered anymore.
He wasn’t sure how long he was on the floor when he heard his front door unlock, “Martin,” the voice sounded so far away that he was pretty sure that it was God calling out to him, “Martin!” Nope, that was defiantly Danny’s voice and Danny’s hands rolling him over so he could see if he was okay or not, “Martin, open your eyes, come on talk to me,” Martin’s eyes fluttered open, “Martin how many pills did you take?”
Martin groaned in response not wanting help, “I’m calling an ambulance,” Danny pulled out his phone as Martin started to pass out, “Keep your eyes open,” he demanded between his phone call, “Don’t pass out on me you might not, Martin!” the younger male lay limp on the floor eyes closed and barely breathing.
“Martin are you even listening to me?” Danny asked pulling Martin back into reality.
“Sorry I was just thinking,” Martin blushed as Danny smirked and shook his head.
“You’re always thinking.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Only because you over think things,” Danny teased causing Martin to smile. The coffee maker finally signaled that it was ready, “I’m being serious, stop thinking to much you’ll just run yourself in circles, like you always do,” Martin rolled his eyes after Danny walked away. He poured his cup adding cream and sugar before making it back to his desk. He sat down only to hear his phone vibrate and have Trevor’s number displayed in the screen. He smiled texting back.

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