Labels. Labels define people, put them in categories to describe who they are. White, black, asian, gay, straight, etc… they are all labels whether we like them or not. Some people believe certain labels don’t go together like for example, Roman Catholic and Lgbtq+. Some pose the question ‘well how can you be religious and apart of the lgbtq+ community? Doesn’t God hate gay people?’ My answer is always well some are just prejudice and don’t like change and i can’t change their thinking but I still have a right to believe in God.

My relationship with religion and God has been a long, rocky road. Maybe like a rollercoaster, but not a fun one. As you go up a roller coaster lift hill, you're at the height of the ride, then all of a sudden you race down at 70 mph to the lowest point of the ride. I grew up Roman Catholic. My mom comes from a very Irish, religious household. I’ve done all the sunday school and have made every sacrament up to my confirmation. Being Catholic is all I knew. I even went to a catholic elementary and middle school up until 7th grade. I used to have the greatest relationship with God. I would pray night and day, thanking him for another day on earth and for having a great day. I would pray in times of need, asking for guidance on the next step. I would alter serve at mass every sunday. As I grew older life started to change. I started to question my sexuality.

This process is gruesome. Anyone who has questioned themselves in anyway has been down the road of the scary questions. You basically question your whole life. You start to wonder ‘well if i do really truly like girls how will my family react? Will they still love me or kick me out of the house? What if i lose all my friends? What will i do?’ this was the darkest period of my life. I wasn’t depressed or anything to that effect, i was just scared. I hid myself from the world for 3 years. When I finally came out to my friends it was the night of semi my freshman year. We all came back from the dance and I was texting my friends Bri and Frenchy (who are still some of my closest friends today) and I was shaking. I sat in my bed on my phone texting them with tears running down my face. My heart was beating out of my chest and tears fell down my face some more. I typed ‘guys I need to tell you something and I hope we are still friends after this but I think I’m bi. And because they are the most wonderful friends they accepted me for who I was and have stayed at my side. I felt relief as their responses flooded my phone. It felt like a wave of relief and a thousand pounds was removed from my chest. As I sat back in my bed, I started to have a internal fight. The question that change my life popped into my head. ‘Am I going to hell? Does God still love me?’ those two questions forever changed my view on religion. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t hate God, but I did drift away from his ‘light’ as people say. I always wonder to this day why would I believe in something that hates me and God will condemn me and send me straight to the fiery pits of hell. It just didn’t make sense. Also why does everyone say God loves everyone but then those same people turn around and say everyone but gay people? It just doesn't add up. I just stopped believing and my faith was slipping.

Today as I write as a Junior in highschool I’m here to say everything turned out alright. I came out to my mom as bisexual, she was extremely supportive. Still working on the whole family, which probably won’t happen but that's fine. I finally feel free to love whoever I want without feeling judgement. The matter of the fact is that everyone was created to love and be kind. God loves everyone no matter race, color, creed or sexual orientation.