Speechless is being in a situation where I am so in awe of what is going on in the moment, that I can’t find the words to describe what is happening through speaking. It is when I get a new car sooner than I thought, or when a family member dies unexpectedly. These things in life can make me speechless. Some moments can stick in more than others, but I would have to say, this was the first time that I was ever truly speechless.

Being speechless can mean multiple different things depending where you look. According to the dictionary, “speechless” was part of the Old English passed the 1000 BC. It is an adjective that means temporarily deprived of speech by strong emotion, physical weakness, exhaustion. To me, it means something much deeper.

“I’m speechless. This is something we definitely did not expect.” - Michael Sherman

July 28th of 2007, it was the hottest and stickiest  day of the year. While playing in my room, I was dying from heat. My room on the second story, I opened up the window to let some cool air in. Unfortunately, the heat was the only thing that was sticking to me.

  My family and I were planning on going to the fair. As an eight year old, I was excited to take my only sister to her first fair. My mom’s instructions was that we needed to clean and then we can be on our way. I knew because she was only two years old, she wouldn’t be much help. As I was speeding through the room, cleaning faster than I have ever before in my life, something didn’t feel right.

I turned around, and my sister was gone. She was standing right next to the window and now she is gone. But the screen gone was as well.It was like the window sucked her out into a different world.

I jump into action, rushing to the window as fast as my legs can take me. I see that my sister is laying on the ground. I needed to get help fast. I turn to get my mom.

“Mom, mom. Emily got seriously hurt” I screamed as I was flying down the stairs.

I saw the worried look on her face as she started running upstairs; just as she started to run, I yelled at her,
“No, she fell out the window!”

“WHAT!” A scream of terror that came out of her as she fled outside to find Emily.

Running after her, I see my dad coming around the corner to catch up with my mom.

I remember my dad keep telling my mom to leave her alone.

“Don’t touch her! She might be paralyzed!”

Without processing anything, my mom didn’t listen and still carried into the house with my dad following right behind her.

I’m standing on the porch and I can’t move. Knowing that I was the one who left the window open, left me feeling like the worst sister ever. I see the police coming into the driveway and the ambulance behind them. The paramedics are rushing into the house carrying a stretcher as the police come up to the house to talk to my parents and I.

I can remember hearing Emily screaming for my parents. Hearing her scream brought a harsh chill down my spine.

I remember the police talking to my parents about what happened. They kept asking me questions such as,
“Did you push her out the window?”

I shook my head no.

“Why was the window open.”

“It gets really hot in the room and the kids wanted fresh air.” my mom replied with as much clarity as she could muster.

Listening to the conversation made me feel like I was a criminal, going to be taken away from my family forever because of the bad deed I have done.

The paramedics are getting ready to take my sister to the hospital, as they were taking her out of the house, I got one quick glance at her. She was scared, tears are streaming down her face, her eyes were wide and alert,  then she looked at me.

I was speechless.

My dad decided to go with my sister and my mom was going to drop me off at a friend’s house. The car ride felt like it took forever. Nothing was said the whole time. All I could hear was the soft cries coming from my mother. Everything was tearing me apart inside. What have I done?

When we arrived, my mom quickly dropped me off and led me to the house. Once she saw my friend and his mother, she left to meet my dad at the hospital.

“Come on inside sweetie, your sister will be alright.”

Without saying a word, I slowly walked inside. I was welcomed into the home, but it didn’t feel right. Walking into a home that is so welcoming was teasing my sadness.What if I don’t get that same welcome again at my house? Will my parents ever forgive me?

Being speechless is not when one forgets their lines in a performance. Speechless is not when one loses his or her train of thought in the middle of a conversation. It is when emotions flow over them and they don’t have any words to express itself.

Finally, my friend’s mom got the call I was so desperately waiting for, I can go to the hospital. We all got into the car and started driving. Once I arrived, my parents were waiting for me. They led me back into a room where I saw my sister. She was holding a teddy bear. I was relieved that she didn’t look hurt, but I still was nervous about what my parents would say to me.

Emily was really happy to see me. She stretched out her arms, wanting me to give me a hug. As I wrapped my arms around her, it felt like a whole life was given to me. I have never felt so alive. My little sister was still here with me. She started trying to tell me everything that happened, but coming from a two year old, it was hard to follow.

The doctor came back with the results. He went straight to my parents and I rushed over to try and understand as best as I could.

“I can find nothing wrong with her, we couldn’t even find a bruise on her body. You and your family are free to go home.”

Tears of joy are filled into my parents eyes. My dad turned to my mom and gave her a huge hug saying,
“God is good!”

What a relief. I was so happy that everything turned out better than expected. As an eight year old, it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. The first and really only time I have ever been speechless.

We packed up all of our stuff and decided to go home. We first stopped at McDonalds to pick up some supper. When we got home, I saw my grandparents were waiting for us inside. Even though we didn’t go to the fair, but I don’t think there could have been a better outcome to my evening.

Watching my sister that night was one of the most heart touching experiences that I have ever been though. There was and still is so much guilt that I have for forgetting to shut that window that night. I could have hurt someone that I love so dearly. 

Being speechless is something that is hard to explain. It is a moment when one realizes that the emotions are so overwhelming that there isn’t a word that can be said to describe how he or she feels. If I would go back in time, I would have shut the window that morning when I would have woken up. Even though things didn’t go as planned, it was a lesson that gave me the true meaning of what it felt like to be speechless.