As you grow up, things change a lot. Holidays, friends, new people coming into your life, society, family, a boyfriend or girlfriend, something that changed you, problems, or anything. I never really thought about it, not till this year. I realized I haven’t been as happy as I was when I was little. I realized my best years were when I was in elementary, when I was happy and didn’t even know. These past years have been the worst and I miss being little, with nothing to worry about. I’ve lost friends I never thought I would, had problems with my family, made school harder for me, got in trouble. Holidays don’t feel like before, when it used be more exciting and cheerful, or when the whole family could sit together and be together.

When I was little, I remember I used to like going to the pool often with my uncle and stopping at Wendy’s after, and I liked being around my cousins and family. Now I barely spend time with them and hate half of them. I used to go to parties with my family, or with my aunt wherever she was going, Most weekends I’d spend the night at her house but now I don’t see her often even though she lives in my house. My mom knew everything. I could tell her anything, she was best friend, but now she barely knows anything that’s going on with me. I know I make bad decisions and let her and my dad down, that wasn’t me. I enjoyed going outside and playing all day if I could, eating watermelon or drinking Kool-Aid. Who knew I’d end up just hanging out in my room most of the day. Last summer I had a bestfriend who I did everything with and could talk to forever about anything but now we barely talk. Not gonna lie, I miss her dearly and it really hurts like a b**** how we’re not close anymore. I liked riding my bike, but I don’t have one anymore.

I remember I wouldn’t worry about anything, like what a person thought of me, which I’m starting to not care about anymore, or what lie I was gonna use to get out of trouble, or school. Or the way I would act, if I was annoying or not. I had no worries, I thought being a teen would be even better, I was so wrong. I’m about to 17, and I went to from being friends with everyone to realizing who really is there for me and enjoy having me, I went from enjoying everyday to being mad most days, from being a good little kid to someone who doesn’t make the best decisions. I’m 16 and I shouldn’t be like this. I shouldn’t be tired everyday, with nothing to look forward, or so heartbroken over a boy, losing friends and feeling like they don’t want me. I get that it’s live and this part will be over sometime. Happiness will come back to me and I hope it feels like when I was little.