With his skin the same color of the sheet, Sam sat on his bed sobbing as Pastor Jason asked the question “Sam do you believe in Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit?” He barely made out the word “I do,” continuing to fill the room with tears as all of his supporters stood over him crying and praying. Sam knew he wasn’t going to be sleeping in his bed again or seeing his dog, but he did know he would finally be going home to heaven.

Sam Day was a fifteen-year-old boy who for six years fought the toughest fight, cancer. His battle came to an end on August 27th, 2016 after a vigorous childhood cancer entered his life in 2010 and took his lower left leg in the process. He was cancer free for a matter of months after a battle that caused pain and suffering before he was diagnosed a second time, meaning the cancer wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Sam went from this fear of God to a new perspective, love, and trust in him which I was given the opportunity to see in the baptism.
Just weeks before Sam passed away he and I were roommates at a youth conference for a week. Having the privilege of knowing Sam for years I was able to have some in-depth conversations with him, but one concern that Sam kept telling me during the week was “Henry, I don’t know how I can trust God looking at all he has done to my life.” Sam had been struggling with the idea of Christianity and trusting in God because of what he had been going through. God had been throwing Sam into a pit and forcing Sam to climb out. However, the opportunity to watch Sam commit his life to Christ knowing he would be going to heaven with a community of believers around him caused a whirl of emotion to take over my body.

Weeks later, I walked out of the dark, gloomy room as the baptism concluded and a firehouse hitting me threw me to the ground in tears. I was wrapped up in emotion that I didn’t know how to express. Sam had been a part of my life for the past ten years, and imagine life without him was unspeakable.

The only emotion I could feel was the sense of peace knowing Sam was at peace with the idea of dying because it was a part of God’s plan. Being able to see the shift in how Sam looked at his faith had the biggest impact on my own. I can see how we can receive the worst news of our lives and trust that God has a plan for us even though it may seem like a bad one; God is using it to pull us closer. Jerimiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and hope.” This verse came up at camp, Sam and I debated the ideas behind this while both agreeing God will be there and there is no need to fear. The verse says that God will strengthen and help us which is evident when Sam’s story is heard. There is no easy way to get over death, but I think Sam getting baptized allowed everyone to have a sense of closure knowing he would be going home to his father in heaven.

For years I was struggling with the idea of baptism and not wanting to do things in public, Sam changed my perspective. The bright yellow lights blinding me as I hunker down in the baptism trough and have all eyes on me makes me cringe. My brain and body freeze as I attempt to wrap my brain around baptism. Sam not only proved what it meant but he proclaimed how significant it is that you have others around. He sat on his bed as people piled in the cramped hospital room with their cameras out on him. He allowed a community of believers to be a part of his story and knew Gods plan. Baptism is about proclaiming your life to Christ, it isn’t about what others think or about yourself, it is about Christ and your relationship with him. Sam took the feeling of butterflies away from my stomach and made me confident in the idea of getting baptized in a room full of complete strangers. Acts 22:16 “And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.”