The day was beautiful, the sun gleaming with anticipation and the clouds floating so delicately in the sky.  Birds were chirping and chatting with each other, and the soft breeze rustled the branches of trees and bushes.  School was nearing the end and I couldn’t wait for the freedom that took the form of summer.  Then I saw Boulie.  My parents and my brother all looked worried. 

“Are you paying attention!?,” yelled my tutor. 

I merely nodded my head.

“Son, come and hug Boulie and say goodbye,” my mom says. 

“Why?  What’s wrong?” I ask. 

“We don’t know if he will be coming back.”

The silence swept over the house for no more than a nanosecond before I said, “I’m sure he’ll be fine…Right, Dad?” 

“Yes.  Your mother is overreacting, as usual.  He is just going for a normal checkup.  He’ll be back before your lesson is over.  Now let’s go!”  He then motions towards my brother to follow him out the door.  We all laughed a bit, although I still felt a bit uncomfortable. 

“Are you sure?” I asked. 

“Listen,” my tutor interrupts.  “I know you think life is a joke, but you should be focusing on your work right now, not on your dog.”  I utter a little laugh and my tutor gives me a deathly look in return.

“You think this is funny?  Your dog could be sick and you couldn’t care in the least, could you?”  I turned my head to look towards the door…They were gone.

I am playing the piano… Schubert’s Impromptu No. 3 in Gb Major, one of my favorite pieces.  I hear faint noises coming from upstairs…some shuffling around and shutting of doors.  I take my hands off of the keys and listen…nothing.  I resume playing.  More noises.  I walk upstairs to my parents’ bedroom and find my mother crying.  I didn’t have to ask what was wrong.  I left the room and darted to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.  Silence.  My heart could be felt and heard beating through my chest.  I lie down on my bed, motionless.  Memories come flooding back: me in kindergarten wanting to get home and see our new puppy, hugging him and playing with him throughout the years, taking him to the park, running with him, comforting him when he was older and sick.  I feel like crying, but instead of tears, rage consumes me before that awful silence envelops the room again.

The sky is a gloomy grey with dark clouds.  I walk into the gym and hand in my membership card.  “Thank you.  Have a nice day!” says the woman at the desk with a large grin.  “You too,” I murmur as I walk to the court.  My mind is racing and my heart is throbbing.  I open the door and walk onto the court.  It’s empty, as it usually is at 4:00 in the morning.  That lonely silence haunts me yet again.  It seems as if it is asking me for something or trying to tell me something.  “WHAT DO YOU WANT!?”  The sound of my voice echoes through the empty room before it reverts back to that damned silence again.  That silence which I’ve had so many conversations with in my mind before, was now beckoning me to do something.  “What do you want me to do,” I plead, quivering wildly.

The clouds outside begin to clear and the sun slowly makes its way over.  I stare outside in awe.  I feel completely consumed in the now.  Months of living without emotion, without leaving my room, begin to clear away as effortlessly as those dark grey clouds.  A smile slowly crawls across my face as I grab two basketballs from the basket.  Thud! Thud!  The summer is here and has been waiting for me all this time.  Hours upon hours were wasted, but all to prepare me for this moment.  These words don’t come as thoughts, but rather as feelings of utter joy in my chest and a vibe of energy throughout my entire body.  Now instead of fighting the silence, I invite the silence into my soul.  I dance with it and move with it.  Now, after all this time, I realize one very evasive truth…I am the silence.