I didn’t expect to be called “overweight” as soon as I stepped into my aunt’s house. She had just moved from Vietnam to California, and it had been four years since I had seen her. In that time, I had gotten tacky highlights, grown a bit taller, and developed acne all over my face. I had also decided not to pursue a career in medicine, so the last thing I expected her to comment on was the few pounds I had put on. I took her remarks to heart and forced myself to count calories during my stay with her. I put myself on a strict 1,500-calorie diet for a month.
What surprised me during the first few minutes we reunited was the fact that she bluntly asked what size pants I wore after she wrapped her arms around my waist to give me a hug. When I replied that I was a size zero, she threw her head back and scoffed loudly as if I had told her the funniest joke in the world. “No, really, what size are you?” she asked after she had wiped her tears from all the laughing. “Seriously, I’m a size zero,” I replied earnestly. I received a light slap on the back and another chuckle. “You must be hungry from the long car ride. Let me get you something to eat,” she said before disappearing into the kitchen. Seriously? How could I have an appetite after that?
My aunt seemed to care a lot about my “health.” My dinner consisted of bland tofu, a spoonful of rice, and steamed vegetables. I had to forget junk food. That experience left a bad taste in my mouth – literally. Everyone else had a plate filled with rice, marinated meat, and plenty of fried foods. I could have unlimited servings of tofu and vegetables, but if my aunt caught me sneaking a piece of meat she acted like I had robbed her of a million dollars. I was starting to think that my aunt had decided to feed me all the bland leftovers that had been sitting in the new fridge since she moved into the house. My parents had always told me to finish all of my food before shopping for groceries and that throwing away good food was a waste; I guess that’s what my aunt was trying to tell me too?
“You just need to shed a few pounds to look good,” she told me every week after she took my measurements.
People have different interpretations of beauty, and anyone who spared a glance at my meals could see that I was practically starving myself. Skinny is not the new healthy. A good diet is based on nutritional value, not just the amount of calories one consumes. We live in America where there are as many fast food restaurants as trees. A McDonald’s seems to be located at practically every corner in the U.S. However, no matter how much I tried to convince my aunt that being skinny isn’t the greatest achievement in the world, it did not alter her belief in any way.
It’s never easy to lose weight in an allocated time frame without any motivation. Just ask anyone who has been forced to go on a diet. My initial bewilderment by my aunt’s disapproval dissipated when another family member noticed that my jawline was becoming sharper – a look I liked. I eagerly fell into the dieting scheme as I cut out all the carbs I once longed for. However, when I went back to school, I automatically gave in to fatty foods that made an appearance in my life again. “Why are you eating that when you could eat school lunch?” a classmate asked as she pointed to my tofu and rice. I knew that sentence meant a lot, considering that all the kids in my class loathed school lunches. Our meals were stale and tasteless – but nothing like tofu, of course.
It took me less than a week to abandon my new way of eating. I frequently went out with friends to get lunch and quickly gained back the few pounds I had worked so hard to lose. My goal of a 1,500-calorie diet was tossed to the side as I began to binge eat. I ate like I had discovered food for the first time. My aunt might have made me realize how much of an imperfect human being I was, but she also made me realize my love for good food.
People like my aunt are not actually concerned about health. They are concerned about weight for superficial reasons. You can have an ugly personality, flunk out of college, or be a cheater, and people like her won’t bat an eye. However, gain an extra pound and they will go ballistic. Being skinny doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It is just a superficial way to judge
others.
During that week at my aunt’s house, I learned that I could get away with having a few blonde streaks in my hair without any harsh comments, survive a semester in high school with a few B’s on my report card, and sputtering a few curse words in front of my relatives without being yelled at. However, it was taboo to put on a few more pounds than an average Asian teenager. I realized how rarely my family members had corrected me on certain things, such as their lifelong dream of my becoming a doctor, despite all the stereotypical Asian roles one would see on a television show. I learned that my family wasn’t as strict as many others who forced their nieces and nephews to earn all A’s on their report cards. Instead, they focused on body weight. I should be thankful for that in a way, because once we have another family reunion during the summer, they will be focused on the freshman fifteen I gained and not the letter grades on my report card.