If there’s one thing that all kids of all ages from all over the world deal with, its gossip. I can remember the excitement of finding out one of my friends had a crush on someone in elementary school, the rush I would feel when gossiping about it with all of my friends and even the delight I felt in knowing when my friends were talking about me. This all sounds great, right? But in middle school, this turned into a whole other story. The little rumors that were spread around were no longer innocent little white lies about someone liking someone else. All of the sudden, knowing people were talking about me behind my back wasn’t comforting, and only made me worry. I became way more self-conscious around people outside of my friend group. Of course, moving to a new school didn’t help, but I had moved a few times before, and this one was definitely the most challenging for me. The confident and adventurous me was gone, and all that was left was a quieter version of myself who constantly worried about what other people were thinking of her.

Towards the end of middle school, I was able to gain back my confidence as I learned that what other people think isn’t as important as it seems. I realized that what mattered to me most was what my friends and those who I trusted thought of me, and not just all of the kids at school. I realized that I couldn’t control what others thought of me, and that I had to accept that. But it took me too long to realize this. I remember how the thought of a single person hearing a bad rumor about me could torment me for days, or longer. This is something that no one should go through. No one should have to worry so much about what others think. No one should fear what other people are saying about them. Unfortunately, gossip is a reality that exists in all schools, and I decided I had to do something.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been learning about social justice in my English and History classes, and I realized that there was a way for me to actually make a difference. I started working with another classmate who wanted to stop cyber bullying in the middle school, and we began talking with the middle school counselor about our options. After researching gossip and middle-schoolers, attending meetings with the middle school counselor, high school counselor and school psychologist, and working with our teachers to create an effective lesson plan, we were ready to take action. My classmate and I lead a 30-minute discussion based lesson on rumors and gossip and cyber bullying, and it couldn’t have gone better!

The lesson started off with us asking students to say something about cyber bullying, and then to write down something they thought of when they heard rumors and gossip. Some of the first things to come up were words like “hurt”, “pain”, “lies” and “betrayal”. Not a single student wrote down anything positive about gossip, but they were still all very aware of its presence in the middle school. Next, we introduced the topic of cyber bullying in more detail and asked students to find different partners to talk about examples they have seen of cyber bullying and gossip while in middle school - anonymously. All three of the students I spoke with knew exactly what could go wrong with this bullying, and had some kind of experience which they drew upon. I knew that gossip was common in middle school, but I had hoped these kids would show me that our school was different, that somehow the school I went to was special. It isn’t.

I began going into more depth about rumors and gossip and honed in on what I wanted the students to take away from this lesson - how to deal with gossip. I gave the students scenarios of gossip spreading about them, to them and from them, and asked what they would do. The question of “But what if I tell an adult and things only get worse? What if they start spreading worse rumors because they are mad at me?” came up during these scenarios. This is when I was able to stress the importance of confiding in your friends, parents, teachers or counselor. Not necessarily to tell on the bully, but to make sure that you are able to cope with the effects of gossip being spread about you. At the end of the day, if gossip is being spread about you, you are the victim and you are the one who needs to make sure you are OK.

We ended with an activity where the students could post on facebook or instagram a photo of themselves with a cross on their hand, followed by a game of Chinese Whispers. When the students started taking selfies to post online, it became so clear that this was an important issue to them. Even the students without phones got involved, asking others to let them tag themselves or log in on their peer’s phone. Taking this portion of the lesson online was a risk that Mary and I had to take, in the sense that the internet can be a huge distraction, but the results were amazing. We were both so happy to see how eager the students were to support the cause. For the last few minutes, we all played a few rounds of Chinese Whispers, it turned out to be hilarious!

I thought that me and Mary’s lesson plan worked out great, and the kids seemed to be having fun. It was an extremely rewarding experience to see that I, a 10th grade student, could actually make a difference to someone. I felt like I was actually able to teach these students something that will be useful to them all the way through to adulthood. Kids think that if someone spreads a rumor about them, there is nothing they can do but accept it because gossiping is inevitable in school. This is not the case. Kids can stop gossiping about others and discourage their friends from doing the same. Kids can surround themselves with friends who believe and trust in them, no matter what other people are saying. Kids can turn to their friends, parents, teachers or counselors for help. I want kids to understand that there are so many options and resources available if gossip is something that is affecting you. Gossip is a big problem in most schools, but it is also fixable. More people need to understand the horrible effects rumors and gossip can have, especially on middle-schoolers, but more importantly, people need to understand that this is an issue that they can end.