Would my summer be good or would everything be worse?  There’s someone new in my life right now and I was hoping that he would stay. This would be a summer to remember. He asked me out so perfectly, he got on his knees in front of all of his friends, and my summer was amazing so far but I was still scared to hurt like my past. I’m giving him a chance but he only has one, so I hope it last.

He changed my whole life around. Poodah is my secret holder, my best friend. He is always there for me and my feelings and emotions towards him are un- word able. He is the type of boy that thinks he has to be rough and mean, but for some reason I see something different in him, I know he has feelings but he just doesn’t show it.
Saturday Afternoon. 5:23pm, I went to his house and met his mom. No doubt about it, I was scared but there was no way I was going to show it. We talked and she asked me why I liked her son and a bunch of other questions. She gave me a nickname “Lips” and to be honest at first I didn’t like it but I got used to it.

There was never a second that I wasn’t thinking about poodah , when me and my friends hung out I would change the subject just to talk about him , I went to his house every day after school , we played basketball , I watched him practice at night , we watched movies , we cuddled , it was all perfect until we start fighting .
When poodah left and went to Dallas for 3 weeks it felt like a year passed by. I missed him so much; he was the only person I would talk to. He met my sisters and big brother that night when he came back , they went outside and talked and I was so angry because they wouldn’t tell me what they talked about Come to find out all they were talking about was me . We went outside later that night and we played all types of games like curve ball then he got mad at me because I tried to make him play “ring around the roses” so we start play fighting .

The next morning I got a text from a girl I didn’t even know it read:
“Hey patience, this is makayla, your boyfriend is trying to talk to my older sister.”
I replied: “okay.”

Heart pounding, tears rushing down my face, breathing hard and I can’t even get my words out. Eyes red, thoughts racing, screaming to the top of my lungs, trying to get answers. People starring at me like I’m crazy so I feel like blowing up. He looking at me, telling me “none this ever happened, baby stop.”How can I believe him? I don’t know so now I’m walking away, I don’t want him in my face.

It felt like everything was so wrong, I’ve been through heart breaks before but this felt like my heart was ripped out, stomped on and flushed down the toilet over and over again until it stopped pumping.

I forgave him but I can’t say things went back to normal because I no longer had trust in him. As much as I tried I was always second guessing myself. I always felt myself wondering what he was doing, who was he with, was he thinking about me?

After all of this, it didn’t matter anymore. Love stories, love songs? Not my thing anymore.