The cold November breeze hits my warm face like needles, as my dad opens the car door. A hint of cigarette smoke glides past me and I know where we are. I try to find the buckle under my huge puffy snow pants. My dad sees me struggling and reaches over me to un-click it. He picks me up out of my car seat; still tired from the trip over here I wrap my arms around his neck and stuff my face into him to keep out of the cold. I breathe in the smell of his cologne that my mom gave him for his birthday. I can hear my little sister cry from the car as my mom and older sister, Hannah, try to comfort her. Their voices fade away as soon as the thick smell of cigarettes and turkey fill my nose, washing out the smell of my dad. I look up to find my grandma leaning over a golden brown turkey. My dad separates me from his neck and sets me down on the ground. I rub my warm hands on the ground letting the fake green grass tickle my palms, quickly pulling them up giggling. My dad pulls my boots off, my socks getting stuck inside. I stand up and wiggle my toes letting the plastic grass fill the spaces in between. I pull my coat off to reveal my new sweater, and then off come the bulky snow pants.
I run up the steps and onto the cold tile. My grandma bends down so I can look at her face. She smiles showing her perfect teeth. My older sister told me last year that they’re fake. They look pretty real to me. I stare at them until she pulls me into a hug. I breathe in the smell of her flowery perfume.
“How old are you turning next month?” I can feel her voice rumble through my chest. I let go and say, “six.” my face going red because I don’t like to talk much. She kisses my forehead.
I can hear my cousins in the next room. I run across the cold kitchen tile onto the soft living room carpet.  I see them fighting over the TV remote. I run away before they see me.
I find Hannah rummaging through the candy jar. I climb up on the chair with her and grab a strawberry candy. It’s hard on the outside and squishy on the inside. I shove it in the pocket of my khakis. I look up at her.
“What are their names?” I said as I’m looking for more candies. “Who?” Hannah says as she unwraps a butterscotch. I look over at the couch. Flubber is playing on TV. I point to my cousins; I always forget their names because we don’t see them often. “Autumn and Hunter.” She says with the candy in between her teeth.
I watch the TV for a few minutes, looking at the voiceless people moving their mouths. I hear footsteps coming towards the living room. I quickly jump down and shove the rest of the candy in my pocket. Hannah shoves the butterscotch wrapper in the pocket of her dress. The smell of turkey, potatoes, and corn fill my nose.
My dad, grandma, papa, and mom all come in carrying a plate of food, Natalie wobbling behind. Papa sets the turkey on the table and spots Hannah and I. A smile spreads across his face; he bends down and spreads his arms.
“Get over here you two!” his scratchy, loving voice ringing in my ears. Hannah runs towards him, so I follow. My cheek smashed against his grey and white scruff, the sweet smell of turkey and cigarettes radiates off him. I breathe it in, the scent tickling my nose.
We let go and head towards the dinner table. I climb into a wooden chair and wait for the rest of my family to pile in. Hannah reaches for the turkey but my grandma slaps her hand away.
“We have to say Grace first, honey.” I look around; mom holds her hand out to me. Mom told us to just follow along to what she does, so I grab it then take my cousin Autumn’s hand. We close our eyes and listen to Papa talk to someone. I’m not sure what he is saying, but when he stopped everyone said Amen. Its silent for maybe a second then everyone pops back to life, tossing forks and potatoes around to people’s plates. My mom gets my food for me, because I can barely see over the table.
“Corn?” “mhm.” “Turkey?” “Yeah.” “Stuffing?” I shake my head no.
“Too bad. You have to have a little because grandma made this from scratch.”
Whatever that means. She piles some on. Not sure why we have the same food we had last year. She hands me my steaming plate and a fork. I watch everyone else eating and drinking so I dig in, not looking up from my plate.

.  .  .

We all pile in on the couch and my grandma turns on the TV. She puts in The Little Rascals, and all our eyes get glued to the screen. She walks away; I can hear her footsteps slowly walk into the kitchen. The sink turns on and dishes start clanking together. I think I can hear my mom’s voice over the TV and dishes. I push myself off the couch and sneak past my grandma focused on the dishes. My mom’s voice leads me to the window and I can hear it in the garage. I see my parents in there with my papa.
I look out into the sky and see the sun about to tuck itself away into the ground for the night. The sky is orange and pink, with a few fluffy clouds in the distance. A loud noise breaks my gaze from the sinking sun to the garage door slamming behind my mom. She walks toward me and opens the door. She sees me and picks me up, hugging me tightly. She sets me down and starts putting on my boots.
“You finish getting ready and I’ll go get your sisters.” I nod and slip my other sock onto my foot.
My mom’s footsteps fade away as my little sister’s cry starts. Little Rascals is her favorite movie. My mom walks into the breezeway with Nat in one arm and Hannah holding the other. We are all getting our thick winter clothes on when my dad comes from outside. He helps Natalie get her pink boots and coat on without saying a word.
My grandma comes in kissing us goodbye with a disappointed look on her face. I smile at her as we walk out the door. Why do we come here every year when it always turns out like this? At first everyone is happy and cheering to something, but then my parents and papa always talk about what seems to be the same thing.
We all pile into the car. As we are pulling away papa comes out of the garage and waves to us. My parents don’t seem to see him so I stick up my hand and hope he sees me through the tinted window. I wave until their house is a small speck in the horizon. I turn to Natalie and find her sleeping so I try to do the same.

.  .  .

I can feel a bead of sweat drip down my neck. I wake up, confused for a moment. I look around and my sisters are asleep, buckled in next to me. I see my parents in the front seat, and I can hear them mumbling about something.
I can barely move in my big jacket. I still have the taste of turkey in my mouth. Every year think if this will be the last time I see them. I look out the window into the dark sky and see the full white moon glowing. I listen to my parents rumble to each other until my eyes droop closed and I can feel my body get heavy.