One thing you will never see and never know is my deepest secret. Well I guess you will know a memory from that. Every thought haunting me like a ghost on Halloween. The feeling and the voices swarm as bees would swarm a beautiful flower. I hear him! My god i hear his breathing and feel the heartless body on mine as i scream but nothing comes out i think maybe if i give in it will be okay and he will just move on and forget me.
Now that i have you reading; this is some important information for you.
The day before the last day at of school last year i was with my Boyfriend. We were in his room being like a couple. Things got heated. Before i knew what was going on i felt pain like no other. I am not getting into this because its not my memory i want to share. But you had to know to understand the upcoming pains and deep sorrow.

Twas the week of Christmas vacation and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even the dog. There came heavy knock. as if the angle of death had fallen on the door. The dog went wild trying to tell the door and the strange dark figure that its 11 at night and we are all fast asleep. I hear the dreaded sound of foot steps come down to my room. soft and gently my mom says “ Anna my dear you have a visitor” . As I put on sweats and more suitable clothes i stumble up the stairs as if i were drunk. The police officer is stiff as a tree and leaning on the wall. My heart drops in to my stomach. No longer able to think straight. He leads me away from the only comfort I have. Not wanting to leave my mothers warm loving arms. As he was talking to me i answered like i was taught. Least amount of information possible. I Don't want to Remember! Why does he not understand?! its DONE!! over i forgot and it is late..!! I don’t want this. i kept it all to myself! Who told them?! its no one business but mine! Hurt, betrayal, pierce my heart. If i was to be standing i would have fallen. Shaking more than a dry leaf on a windy day.
Why must the ruin the one happy time in my life? Being away from it all during Christmas. And yet it finds me. As if I am in a dark tunnel of sorrow and hopelessness; seeing my love at the end in happiness. Reaching on the last leg before everything wiggles free and i crash, the look of pain comes to my dads face as the words come in motion. Your daughter. Your little girl was rapped. i will never forget the look as my dad was drunk and hearing this he thought this was all a bad dream. To be honest I wish it was just a nightmare. Hoping i will one day wake up and have my life back. That day is the reason I am in your summer school class. From that moment on the kids at East found out. Wanting to kick my a**. Calling me a liar and even to the point i was afraid it be in school. But no one was there for me. Those I thought were there for me left me and actually lead the harassment. As the devil teachers did NOTHING at all to save me.
This is what has for ever gave me nightmares and cause me more than pain. Im sorry if you don’t believe me. Sorry if you don’t understand or like my choice of words are images i choose to take you to. But thank you for your time.