I am about 8 months clean of pot and about 6 months clean of alcohol. To be honest, even though this is not an enormous amount of time, I am extremely proud of myself. And I know that I will never resort back to drugs or alcohol again; even in my most stressful times.
When I first started smoking pot, and being around new friends/people who smoked pot. This was last summer, late June, I really thought I was the coolest person. It made me feel unstoppable.. like I finally might fit in. Earlier that summer I started dating a guy who smokes pot regularly and struggles with depression. I am still with him today, and I love him dearly. We have had our ups and downs with his smoking, but we’re okay right now and happy as ever.

Anyways, so when we started to date, he never pressured me to take a hit, ever. It was all up to me. I still remember the day that I first tried it. I was with my friends and my boyfriend. One of my friends started to pack a bowl, and I thought why not. So I took a hit and I really hated the taste but I loved how I felt after and while I was doing it. That same night, I remember hanging out with a few of my best girlfriends after they had bought some pot so I decided to take the invite and go get stoned with them. Looking back on that night, I don’t remember much which is kind of good because I really would rather not remember how stupid I acted.

I smoked pot, a pretty good amount, during that summer. It almost ruined relationships with the people I love, and that matter the most to me. Thank god it didn’t. All I really cared about was my friends who liked to get high. I was a huge liar and extremely sneaky towards my mom, and even some of my closest friends. I always wanted to be high.. it makes me sick and brings tears to my eyes when I look back on this behavior.

Around late August, I knew that school was coming around the corner so it was time to stop smoking for a while and focus on schoolwork. I really wanted to go through with my plan, but on the first day of school, I met up with my boyfriend and a good girlfriend of mine and her boyfriend. They were gonna go get high so automatically, without thinking I decided to go with them. I remember that was the highest I had ever gotten. Sure enough my phone rings and it’s my mom wondering where I am. I lied and said I was home doing my homework. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel bad about it. After this I found out that smoking pot while on prozac (which is what I take) makes the medication stop working. I knew I didn’t want that to happen but I still wanted to smoke pot.

Later that month was my friend’s birthday party. This friend of mine is definitely a stoner, so I knew I was going to smoke when I got there; even though I shouldn’t. At the time, I was babysitting and a couple friends of mine were over. I really wanted to go to the party so I told them I would stop by her house just to wish her a happy birthday and then I would come right back... I honestly am baffled by this behavior. So when I got there, I took a few bong rips and I was feeling good. I get a text from my mom saying she’s coming to get me and I began to freak out.. I did not want my mom to know I was getting high. So I got in the car and I acted the most normal I could. Luckily she didn’t have a clue.

Soon after that night, my mom found I was still smoking pot. She began to drug test me and it freaked me out so much. This is when I knew I really, truly, had to stop this time. And I did. Well with the pot at least. My mom and I began to get our relationship back to normal until about late October when I began to sneak around and start drinking again. My friends and I had a small party/get-together type thing and there was whiskey there, so I decided to take a few sips since everyone else was. Eventually I confessed to my mom about the alcohol and we had a discussion about it all. She scared out of my pants, and thank God she did because I haven’t drank or smoked pot since.

To this day, my mom and I’s relationship is the best it’s ever been. She is my best friend, I trust her more than anyone else in the whole world. I have been doing extremely well in school this year and I’ve made a lot of new friends. But also, I’ve seen a lot of old friends who have lost themselves to drugs and/or alcohol. Everything they loved and dreamed about just went up into smoke and they lose interest in everything else in life. It makes me so sad to see people with such potential go downhill so fast. Luckily I have the ability to be around people who are smoking pot and I have no urges at all. I am so happy and content with my life exactly how it is right now.