Love disorients your emotions from your soul and blocks it with a black hole that was sent from the king that rules the world of Hate. I lived this experience. It tricked me for so long that I thought love was a part of life but as I felt pain I saw the brother of love, Hate…it destroyed the relationship I had with myself and changed how I looked at someone forever.

I just took a drift to a new age of 13, I’m in the 7th grade and I’m going to a new school which means I am new to the environment around me. A couple weeks go by and I make some new friends. I wake up and go to school. Later on that day me and my friends go to lunch. As I’m in lunch I go to get some napkins and forks. As I take a turn to head towards my table I see the most beautiful thing I could have possibly have seen with my very own eyes. I see this young lady that sparkles and shine with every movement laughing and talking. I could swear that I was stuck and glued to that standing point and stood there for about 30 minutes when I was really standing there admiring this this angel sitting there for about 2 minutes. During those two minutes I saw my life flash, I felt as though I knew everything and anything about this girl. I knew her favorite color down to what kind of socks she likes to wear. This moment slowed down my mind, all the yelling and banging began to slow down and I began to fall for her. I saw life different with her and no life without her. I looked at this girl and thought “This is the girl I’ve been waiting for all the 12 years of my life, the girl I’ve been alive 13 years for.” I could smell the perfume that she has on from four tables away. I felt as though my five senses got stronger, I could see her shiny hair wave at me as it flows against her soft neck. Her eyes were so rich and dark that it looked unlike any other eyes I’ve seen. I thought about talking to her but was too nervous because I never felt the way I did about any other girl so I just let it go. The bell rang to change classes and everything began to get back to normal speed.

Next year I’m in the 8th grade and like the school. I received my schedule and was happy until I noticed she was in all of my classes which made me very nervous. I began to panic until I saw this as a good way to get to know her. A couple weeks pass by and we are good friends and I know mostly everything about her, I know the type of socks she likes, her favorite color, her food, mostly everything there is to know. This young lady was so rare compared to the other women out there. She was so beautiful that it was impossible for me not to look into her eyes and not want to love this girl. She was curious and nice, but she also had a mean side for people who didn’t treat her nicely. She hates how people think of her with no problems of her own and someone who has everything she could ever have. She wants to be known as someone who has problems and cries here and now but that’s okay. During those couple weeks I made some mistakes but what friends don’t, we always eventually get over it. Over time I felt pain and joy for this girl and cried when I was not with her…and when I was it was the most joyful moments of my life and I would cherish those moments forever. These moments were like being next to an angel. In fact one day I felt worried about her and sent my angel to watch over her. The angel came back so quickly, I asked it what happened and it said “Angels don’t watch over other angels.” She was the key to my gates of heaven. Those moments we laughed, cried, and had fun. I cried to the point where I couldn’t hold it in anymore. One day I told her and it went fairly well and I was happy.

The moment I dreaded the most caught up to me and destroyed my emotions like they were not real. The girl I loved and cherished the most began to act different towards me and it began to distort me in ways that are not even explainable. I tried to think of what I did but it would not show itself and I began to give up. Then one day we began to talk and everything became normal. I couldn’t make her smile that beautiful smile or laugh that beautiful laugh and it really killed me.

The time came were I finally sat down, stared at the wall in my room and released the thoughts that drove a man crazy and began to think of everything that we did together or that we did for each other. As time fly’s bye I finally figure out the memo she was trying to get across. She did not see me the way I saw her. Love tricked me into those mind games and I lost. I’m still not over this beautiful young lady but I now know that she doesn’t want the relationship I thought we could have so I now treat her as a friend but sometimes, just sometimes I still look into those beautiful dark eyes and wonder and guess if there is any feeling, chance or hope that she feels the same I felt at one point about her as she does about me.