On one particularly cold night of January, I found myself abruptly waking up at three o’clock in the morning and crying my eyes out. An avalanche of different emotions- anger, despair, loneliness- all gripped my heart at once and squeezed it till I couldn’t breathe. It felt like a nightmare. But to my horror, it wasn’t. It was frightening, especially since I couldn’t figure out the cause of these sudden paralyzing feelings. After my tears were all spent and my eyes stung, I felt weak, shaken and defeated. The sadness I felt wasn’t the fleeting kind I used to feel after listening to a sad song or while imagining myself as the protagonist of a dramatic movie. Instead, listening to depressing songs and fantasizing about my life being a movie only made me feel peculiar. I really couldn’t picture a movie being made about a character whose sadness had neither cause nor purpose. I became a puppet, performing for an audience as the onerous hands of depression controlled my movements

Eating, sleeping, studying and socializing all became chores, turning me into a slave of my daily life which slowly robbed me of all happiness and joy. It progressed to taking my most precious possession - my passion for painting. The musky scent of oil colors that once gave me sheer pleasure was capable of inspiring me no more than a cardboard box could.

That was the most frustrating thing about my depression. It was like an invisible force that kept pulling the meaning out of everything. I couldn’t just fight it with hope since there was no cause of my sadness to defeat. It was as if I was fighting an invisible opponent, a battle I was doomed to lose.

Then suddenly, something brilliant happened. Someone else joined my struggle against this invisible force. One day, as I was crossing the snow covered road on my way home from school, my eyes caught her: a tiny brown poodle. Later, I learned that her name was Bella and that her owner is my new neighbor, Mrs. Howarth, a lovely elderly lady. On that snowy day, Bella was frolicking around in the snow right in front of our three story apartment building while Mrs. Howarth kept her in watch. Bella was wild with excitement; one moment she was sticking her tiny muzzle in the powdery snow to sniff it deliriously while the next she was running around, becoming a furry mess of snow. Right then as I watched her, I burst into tears. Unlike before, I was crying from happiness! My heart and mind both leapt in joy as I felt truly content for the first time.

Before I suffered from depression, I was always wanting to want more than I was wanting to have, because when I received what I was after, I went on to the next thing, and the next thing, running after something that I thought was outside myself, believing that my happiness lied in things. But after suffering from depression and finally overcoming it through Bella’s simple act, I realized that the true meaning of happiness lies in appreciating the little moments of my life. Moments like running around with Bella in the snow, dancing with my sister in the rain, or just having a laugh with my friends are far more precious than anything that I will ever own. To be happy, all I had to do was stop overlooking the beauty around me and just be grateful for everyone that I get to share my life with.