I sit in the tub with my knees up to my chest. The water's on, but so are my clothes. I don't know what's wrong, but I'm crying. Everything that I've done is wrong. But I can't go back to fix it, and I can't live with what I've done.
All the little things...they add up, you know?
I sit there and remember a time where it wasn't so bad.

....

Ben pushes me and I hit the dirt, but I'm laughing. "I don't wanna, Ben," I say with difficulty.
"Sara, come on."
"Playing tag is sthtupid!" I'm missing my two front teeth, and I have an unmistakeable lisp.
He laughs. "You know you wanna."
And then I'm chasing him, my too-big pants falling down and my pigtails swirling around my head.

....

I laugh in the tub. I remember Ben! He was my best friend...until I became "too cool" for him.
Oh Ben, where are you when I need you?
I'm still sorting through my memories when I find something worth while.

....

"You're ugly, Sara," says Mikaela, "and stupid too."
She is glaring so hard at me that I think that she might actually bore a hole in my forehead.
I'm in the ninth grade, and her boyfriend just dumped her for me.
I see Ben walk by, but I don't say hi. We stopped talking in the eighth grade.
I need to stand up to this stupid girl. "Thanks for the lecture, but I really don't think you have room to talk-literally. The hallway's not big enough for your head, sweetie," I say.
Everybody laughs and points and starts making fun of Mikaela. One of my friends pushes her and hot tears start running down her face. She turns away, and I can hear her sobbing.

....

I'm crying again. I can't believe I did that! That was the beginning of my reign of b****.
And then I remember all these things that I've done, or have been done to me. And I know I have to fix them. If not now, soon. These were my friends. I hurt them, and now I have to feel. It's like after every bad thing, I tried to bury it in my mind. Well, now it was all surfacing.
It was lost.
And now it's found.
And I will fix it.