I can see myself maturing (worst word, I feel like a puberty self help book, I can't think of any others that are suitable though) in a lot of ways. Not physically, god, we're long, long past that stage. However, emotionally? I'm a different person to what I was even six months ago.

Previously my mantra seemed to be, "Better not, I'd rather stay as I am than risk embarrassment" and now when making a decision the phrase that colours my choices appears more like, "Why not? what is there to lose?"

I used to have a real problem dealing with friends when they wronged me. I was a personified Bruce Wayne and I'd fly off the handle. I never shy away from confrontation, I force myself to be assertive at all times. I don't know, a psychologist would probably say it's some evolutionary thing that helps me deal with being female. But anyway, I thought the only way of dealing with someone who broke the law of friendship was to get angry. That method, although satisfying in the moment, has rather negative long term consequences. Now, I'm seeing that there's another way which is much more satisfying.

During the summer I didn't speak to my school friends at all, they ignored my texts and made no effort whatsoever to contact me themselves. Then, the all too familiar, facebook status appeared. Them all tagged, something planned, no mention of me. In the past, this would have been where the Kill Bill sirens came on. That day, something more like Devil in the Details by the Chemical Brothers. To be honest, they're no big loss to me and that's just what I intend to show them. I've been civil with them now that we're back and school and the knife of society is to their throats making them interact with me. I've just been looking after myself, spending my time with other people, showing that they don't make any difference in my life, whether they're there or not and they really don't. I'm not writing this because their betrayal(think I'm watching too much Game of Thrones) really upset me, I'm just happy with my reaction, massively.